Spinning into Our Own Control
DMT & Phenethylamines
Citation: sockrates. "Spinning into Our Own Control: An Experience with DMT & Phenethylamines (exp99900)". Erowid.org. Dec 30, 2017. erowid.org/exp/99900
|48 mg||vaporized||DMT||(powder / crystals)|
|T+ 0:00||170 mg||oral||MDMA||(capsule)|
|T+ 0:00||5 mg||insufflated||MDMA||(powder / crystals)|
|T+ 0:00||5 mg||insufflated||2C-B||(powder / crystals)|
|T+ 0:00||5 mg||insufflated||2C-T-2||(powder / crystals)|
|T+ 0:00||oral||Vitamin B-6|
|T+ 24:00||1 hit||vaporized||DMT||(powder / crystals)|
|T+ 24:00||1 capsl||oral||MDMA||(powder / crystals)|
|T+ 24:00||85 mg||oral||MDMA||(capsule)|
|T+ 0:00||oral||Alcohol - Beer/Wine|
|T+ 96:00||4 mg||oral||2C-I|
|T+ 96:00||oral||Vitamins - Choline|
|T+ 96:00||12 mg||oral||2C-E||(capsule)|
|BODY WEIGHT:||190 lb|
I am a young man who tries to stay healthy and live a positive life. Recently I had been in a bit of a slump from which I needed to get out of. I have prior experience with most “commonly” known drugs, with the exception of LSD (not that I’m opposed to it), and have some experience with a few lesser known RCs. This is the story of a revelatory week which reminded me of the beauty and connectedness of everything as one. Other characters in the story are G who I had known for a few years, who had no prior psych experience, taken MDMA twice, alcohol, and cannabis. B and I have been close friends for 3 years and we’ve chewed shrooms a few times together, rolled a couple times, and in the two weeks prior to this we had tried ketamine for the first time and on another occasion had another beautiful afternoon where he took 2C-B and I took 2C-T-2.
It was the last day of classes and I had had glowing experiences on such days. There was a fair number of psychedelics I had in possession, but the one which I wanted to give highest priority was DMT. I had 200mg total of a fluffy, almost waxy powder. One of my best friends, call him B, was also curious but felt it wasn’t the right day for him. The day went as usual, relaxing, smoking some bud, until another friend, call her G, who I’d known for a few years through B, but only ever shared brief encounters with, came over; which was happening more usual than lately, and I had been getting to know her better. A coincidence was noticed amongst the group how she seemed to fill the “place” of another friend of ours who had recently gone abroad, and naturally we gently missed him. G was also wanting to blow off steam with classes being over, and suggested MDMA, which I also happened to have a moderate amount of. B and G are both down to roll, so I decide it’s probably time to talk to Dimitri. I first pack each B and G a capsule of 140mg and a cap of 80mg, I pack myself one cap of 170mg in case I want to roll after I come down (who wouldn’t want to roll with a bunch of friends?). I dose out 48mg of the DMT into a vape I made using a glass tube and a bunch of pipe screens, and adapted it to fit our bong.
DMT, (Part I: Breakthrough):
B and I escape to the empty room, left by the aforementioned friend, which still cosily had a bed, a couple chairs and table; he’s going to spot. I take my last breaths, calm myself then I gave it all I could and cleared the bong. I lay back in my chair and held my breath as long as I could, and as soon as I exhaled things started getting really shroomy, but before I could even think that I was launched off, and then there was an overwhelming rush of just everything, all at once. Before I knew it I was in what I’ll call The Sea of Knowledge/Flow of Conscience which was immensely beautiful on its own, but then I was met by what seemed like a gnome; but I never really saw a body or appendages because he was wearing a top hat that was the most incredible thing, and he took me around that realm giving me this sneaky grin every time I would realize something new. I asked him to tell me something I couldn’t possibly know, (in a sense to test the local/non-local source of the effects). He revealed something to me, which exploded into bursts of light and extremely complex geometries, once the fanfare was over I found myself in an endless yet somehow compact “zebra” patterned box world, I tried to grasp at what he told me but I had forgotten it.
The whole experience moved very quickly and I soon left the box and just found myself staring at a flower that kept morphing into other objects in the foreground of yet an even more highly complex red-orange pattern. I slowly start to come back to reality, I begin to feel my body again, but the walls are moving and drooping all over the place with flashing circles of light around objects in the room, and tracers/afterimages galore. Eventually I feel grounded enough and look over at B and say “whoa, that was awesome”, he says “10 minutes on the dot”, looking down at the timer on his phone, “wow you really could do it on a lunch break”.
MDMA, (Part One: Manifestations):
G and B had popped the first caps, and feeling as great as I did from being shown into such a rare realm, I threw mine back too. I couldn’t feel any more at peace right now and I still have to look forward to some more delightful chemical intoxication. G had been chilling in B’s room while we were away and it was starting to hit her nicely, she asks how the DMT was, and I explain it. Starting to feel the M come up creeping on, we go chill and hit a few bowls in the other room, all of us really starting to feel it. We fold down a futon and bundle up in a cozy heap all jumbled together. There was an extremely erotic energy in the room, but not really in a sexual way (I was pretty sure neither B nor I would not be able get hard cause of the M anyways), everyone just enjoyed the presence of the others and we felt into this bliss for a while.
The idea came up that we (B and I) had manifested G into our lives to replace the void that our other friend had left. This spiralled off onto more sexy conversation about how we are all just products of the energy we give off/surround ourselves with. G realizes several hours have passed and that they still have the supplemental cap. B and I feel fine, but G figured it was worth taking since we had it. She swallows hers and coaxes B to take his by pretending to pop it herself too, B complies and takes his.
I remember reading in PiHKAL about how 2C-B was given near the end of MDMA sessions and brought back both effects with more power, so I decided to rail 5mg 2C-B mixed with 5mg MDMA. (Yes it burned for a little while, but it didn’t bother me too much, even nose pain can feel fantastic when rolling). We decide to go get some snacks and smokes at the corner store so we bundled up (winter) and headed out. I was coming back up, and I was starting to feel the cartoony feel of the 2C-B coming on. As we walk it’s like I haven’t felt closer to people, especially B and G, and could never do harm to anyone. Nearing the store in the distance I see the light of the sign, and it takes the image of the gnome from the DMT, but just his little sneaky grin, telling me that he leaves that hat at home. We get the supplies and head back. Futon cozy-up is back as were all seeming to peak again. We enjoy in our delights and have a fantastic rest of the evening. At this point I realize I’m stretching it, but as a night cap I rail 5mg of 2C-T-2 on the second comedown as it has been reported to be used in the same way as mentioned about 2C-B. This one’s a real burn, 5mg is more material than the 5mg of 2C-B (makes sense) but it starts to come on right away. Beautiful CEVs fill my sight when I close my eyes and wonderful patchwork geometry was appearing around the walls, I was in control of energies around and was very much able to control even the color and behaviour of the patterning. I kept enjoying these tricks I had, and felt so blissful and connected to everything. Eventually I had to crash, but still got to enjoy the beautiful hypnagogic imagery as I floated away to bed.
I awoke at a fairly early time, quite unusual especially since I had no reason to, and had been up all night. I wouldn’t say that I felt any worse than I would have, if I had just gotten that little sleep on its own. I usually keep things like 5-HTP on hand for these times, but I didn’t have any then. I cooked myself a bunch of eggs and toast and took it with a bit of vitamin B6, (I believe 2C-T-2 has suspect MAOI activity but I knew some tyramine would get my levels back to normal). I head over to B’s house which tends to be the usual hangout. We hit a few bowls and talk about how great last night was, and we still feel really good. G comes over and we all genuinely agreed that we missed each other. G says that the MDMA had made her think in a completely different and way more positive/beneficial way. She wanted to do it again tonight, I made sure she knew the effects would certainly be diminished 2 days in a row, but she kept interested. In a way we all did have that missing link in the circle from the previous night, or maybe just the hedonistic mood we’d been in, we decided to roll again. I weigh out the M I have left and it doesn’t look like it’ll be enough for all of us, we’ll need more. G knows a connect and before we know we’re off to get 500mg. I had 180mg left of the previous stuff that I will take, I scale B and G off each 150mg and 60mg sup (this time the timing will be better), but I decide before dropping I want to go back to the DMT realm.
DMT, (Part 2: Time Tourist):
In the same setting I throw back the rip as best as I can. There seems to be more residue left than last time (I cleaned it between uses) and the taste is slightly more acrid. After the exhale, wonderful things began happening again. Color bursts from all over the room, and I get a somewhat tense feeling, then a buzzing deep in me that kept growing. I thought that this would build to liftoff and breakthrough, but the rocket just fizzled a little and had to abort. The tension lifted and then I felt like I was being shown the history of civilization and all the art/visuals associated with all the cultures of the world, and the same morphing flower from the first time, which was everything, appeared again, but blocking my entrance into hyperspace this time. The trip continued on more, reinforcing the one-ness of conscience life as an entity. I was still far gone but started to talk to B: “It’s still going on a fair bit, but I didn’t breakthrough this time”, “You’re around six and a half minutes”, after interacting I was effectively grounded again, but still got to take in the walls melt and shift. They were covered in glowing green script written in a language that doesn’t exist (or never been known?) and I was trying to comprehend what they were saying until I returned to baseline about 10 min later.
MDMA, (Part 2: Both sides):
None of us had rolled more than 3 times prior to this, so naturally its use tied to clubs/raves/festivals gives it its bad name. We had all agreed from the night before that the far more powerful use of it was for psychotherapy, but tonight there was a bit of a rager happening with some DJs I know spinning all night so that was on the agenda if we were feeling it.
We relax and hit a couple bowls but it’s starting to come on. G exclaims: “whoa, It just hit me really hard”, and then I just felt a huge energy rush as well. I said “We’ll both focus, tell me the letter of the alphabet I’m thinking of” we focused on it and she said fairly confidently “R”, my jaw dropped to the floor, (that was the letter). We exist on this really high energy and everyone is fantastic.
We popped the second pills (there was some left and G gave me the last 85mg) but they said this stuff was a bit speedier than mine but still pretty good. We had a few beers, and headed for one of my buddys’ sets. The music is kicking great, I’m full of energy to dance, and my inhibitions are a bit lower so I’m more confident around everyone. I can only complain about my jaw clenching, but I’m aware of it and can keep it at bay. I run into a friend I haven’t seen in years who also happened to drop tonight, it didn’t even matter what we talked about, it seemed to get me more caught up and connected to him now. B, G, and I jam there for a while, but really we all just wanted to go back to cuddle-land on the futon. We finished the drinks there and headed home. We were flipping through Netflix and saw the movie “The Secret”, G had heard of and read bits of the book, I had heard of the book and movie, but probably passed it off as ridiculous or something. It was funny to come across it, because that was the exact way we had been feeling things worked. Basically the principle boils down to attracting positivity by being positive, and actual faith/belief that what you want is yours, because it is. We all made lists of what we wanted to see happen, modest things, or just for the hell of it, mundane as: be a good day today, to whiting out bank statements and putting in false huge numbers hoping that those numbers will somehow actualize.
I wake up Sunday, it’s a beautiful day (B willed it on his list) and I have a text from a girl I had been seeing casually. It wasn’t going anywhere and I hadn’t spoke to her in a while, but the text basically said she understood we were coming from different places, and we’d both find someone better. Coincidentally I had randomly added “new girl interests” at the bottom of my list before bed, weird. There is a banquet tonight so everyone is dressing up and we’ll have about 40 people there, B, G, and I will all be there together. The night is great while everyone catches up, B is trying to bring people in on our revelation, but I really do think one has to actually feel a powerful experience to benefit from such notions. We end the night with a nice buzz going from drinking and blazing, talking about all these sexy ideas, I’ve tripped with B a fair bit before, and his trips focus a lot around death, so discussing that transition was a fair part of the analysis.
Monday is fairly mundane, we are all still at really high energies and feel fantastic, as just cogs in the fantastic cosmic machine.
I have some studying to do, and from experience 2C-I has a fairly clean stimulation, only small body load, so I weigh out 4mg and take it with a choline supplement, and a few racetams. Studying is going well as I feel concentrated, thinking is easy, and time is slower. I get a message from B telling me he’s ready for the DMT, so I bring it over, G is there and embraces me saying how good it is to see me. We talk a bit, but almost immediately B says he is feeling different, almost like he is rolling, and his energy is really good. I remember the excerpt in PiHKAL on 2C-I of someone experiencing a contact high at a session when they took none, so I tell him that I took 4mg as a nootropic. At first he is sceptical, but I show him the excerpt, and he says he feels undeniably high, it’s quite remarkable. We talk a bit about my experience, and then 47mg weighed out and ready.
B and I retreat to his room. He takes the hit, but it seems to have left a bit more residue and he has a bit of trouble clearing it. He falls back in his bed as he exhales, and I see him start to grin. A few minutes in he looks to me, extending his hand, telling me, “You have courage”, I nod thanking him saying nothing, he continues for a little while before asking where G is and to get her, I summon G and she comes to observe. She doesn’t know what to make of B at the moment, asking “is he still on it?”, I nod, and try to indicate to be quiet/not to be distracting. B is baseline about 12 minutes after the hit. He says he didn’t breakthrough, but also still had a phenomenal experience. He said that he was telling me I had courage because we were going to die, and I was going with him, but then it didn’t happen. He concludes he has a big ego and that an ego-death type experience would have to be “the gnarliest thing ever, I would really have to believe I was dying”, to which I respond: “that’s the point, and the harder you hold, the more visceral it will be”. B has always doubted the visual effects of psychs, saying they certainly mess with his head, but he doesn’t see anything that a sober person couldn’t witness, always rationalizing the effects down to light bouncing or shadows that other people are too busy to see. I’ve tried to convey that that’s what part of the visuals are, and the nature of the light/shadows is being played on by the chemical and your perception of it. After the DMT he is convinced, but sees DMT at another level than other psychs; to each their own. B has been curious about LSD for said accompanying visuals, but none of us have tried it.
I say 2C-E is purported to be quite visual (which I happen to have), and as one the magical half-dozen may be a powerful tool. None of us have prior experience with it but I’ve done research and warn them that it’s a real psych, even more so than 2C-B (which B thoroughly enjoyed). We all do some more research and decide that we’ll imbibe. I say 22mg, B says 18mg, G is a bit on the fence but says to pack her 12mg. As I go to prepare it, colors and textures of buildings are saturated like no other and there is a beautiful gradient in the sky, and it’s not even a nice day. I remember the 2C-I, and I realize it’s is doing more than I thought. I decide to play it safe, and pack myself a smaller 12mg dose instead.
2C-E, (Day 5: Rebirth):
B and I take our doses, but G decides to wait a bit and see how we react. B thinks it would be a good idea to watch the movie Samsara, which are just visuals from all over the world depicting humanity from its highs to lows. He believes it is on YouTube so we search, but we end up starting watching some other movie (about actual Samsara in eastern religions). 20 min in we realise this isn’t the movie we were looking for and turn it off. We flip the lights on and right away I see patterns all over the walls, all the cracks on the floor were shifting and melting. B says he’s starting to feel it too. G takes hers, and we put on some music.
We’re in cozy futon mode relaxing, hitting a few bowls, when B starts to get uneasy. He flips back and forth between thinking whether he is depressed or not. We try to talk him through it by finding the source of the depression. B would think about it, say that there wasn’t anything, so he couldn’t be depressed. He would then cycle back to before and the same idea started again. B began the get extremely anxious and was verging on a panic attack, I offered him 3mg of xanax which G agreed would definitely help. But it proved very difficult to get B to take it, because he was hung up on his ability to do anything he wanted, and he was trapped thinking about what to do. He also believed that we were in some way tricking or testing him as projections from his own mind. With enough coping, while he briefly snapped out of it we convinced him to take it. As soon as he took it he said he instantly felt eased, but then fell back into the trip. I tell G that (barring him throwing up) it’ll take effect in 15-20 min. I wait it out and the xanax starts to bring him down a bit. He is no longer as anxious but he says he doesn’t want to feel the drug anymore. I remind him that it’s a journey, and now that you’re on it you have to ride it out. Things seem more under control, so I slip out to the store for a minute before they close. When I return B is still dealing with having to ride out the effects, but G and I assure we’ll be here the whole time for him. We are all quite inebriated and cuddle up with few clothes on. Neither B nor I are gay/bi, but neither us cared and it didn’t matter, it was just what was nice to be in everyone’s presence. Hands felt all around and nobody cared for whose limbs were whose, we were all just one. We all felt like we reborn over and over again by each other and it was incredible. B was glowing, He said there were visuals, and energy everywhere and he could manipulate it at will with his hands or thought.
We didn’t get much sleep because we were too excited about a sense of enlightenment we all felt about how we all are part of the same conscious flow capable of anything. We spent the rest of the day reconstructing the experience as we bathed in the 2C-E’s afterglow. B realized the depression he was confused about was caused by that sense of loneliness of only being one, but after he had gotten through it in his trip he embraced the oneness and the depression disappeared completely.
The next day G left town for a few days and B and I were still in awe of our discovery. In light of the telepathy from the other night when G got the letter correct, we tried it with a number between 1-10. He was to think and I would guess. After some concentration I said 3 confidently, to which B nodded it was correct. Our other buddy S who had been around a bit over the past days, but had not partook in anything was with us, so we upped the stakes, S and I would guess B’s number 1-20. After some concentration we wrote our answers down. S and I both said 14, while B had chosen 16. We text the question to G and we all focus on 16 until she responded. She guessed 17. We upped the stakes again. S and B left the room and picked a number 1-25 together, came back and concentrated. I said 6, and the two of them flew off the walls, because it was correct. B starts wondering what it could work with. He tells me that he is envisioning a color behind his closed eyes, and if I could see it. I concentrate and begin to see green, I announce it and B nods again with a huge smile across his face. He texts his ex and asks her to think of a color and a time she spent with him, then text the color. We await the response, and when it comes before we look, I ask S if he wants to know my guess, I whisper in his ear purple and he coughs on his water saying that what he thought. B’s ex responds saying he’s crazy, maybe another time. B said he was thinking fuchsia. I can’t say that I was ever in control of the power, but I wasn’t just making mere guesses, and experienced it.
This was a magical week that I would describe on whole as a ++++ experience, It rekindled and reminded me of the mystical experience I had the first time I tried mescaline ~4 years prior (my first and only other ++++ experience). I don’t think I would have benefitted as much had B not gotten there, as It was incredible to witness, and It made me feel extremely blessed by all experiences that I’ve had.
|Exp Year: 2012||ExpID: 99900|
|Age at time of experience: 23|
|Published: Dec 30, 2017||Views: 5,234|
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|MDMA (3), DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Multi-Day Experience (13), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)|
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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
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