From: Robert Jesse
Newsgroups: alt.drugs,alt.drugs.psychedelics,alt.drugs.culture
Subject: New Book: Thanatos to Eros
Date: 21 Dec 1994 19:30:46 GMT

Myron Stolaroff has just published a book about his life's experiences since
1959 with LSD, mescaline, and many of the phenethylamines including MDMA.
Stolaroff was founder and president of the International Foundation for
Advanced Study in Menlo Park, California, a research organization that
provided legal sessions with LSD and mescaline from 1961 to 1965.  After
those substances illegal, he continued his work privately with other,
unscheduled materials.  Stolaroff describes the book as "essentially the
story of my own personal development, from a seriously neurotic, closed-in,
self-absorbed  individual in almost constant discomfort, to a place of
peace, calm, awareness, and understanding that makes life a blessing."

 
THANATOS to EROS / 35 Years of Psychedelic Exploration
by Myron J. Stolaroff, Foreword by Alexander and Ann Shulgin
Thaneros Press, Lone Pine, CA  1994.

ISBN 3-86135-453-5 hard cover, 192 pages  $17.95

CHAPTERS:  Early Beginnings - The Interim Years - MDMA - 2C-B -
Other New Compounds - A Most Remarkable Compound, 2C-E - Bummers -
Low Doses - Family - Good Friends Along the Way I and II - Special
Events - Insights - Story of a Marriage - Culmination

FROM THE ORDER FORM:

>Send orders with check or money order payable to "Thaneros Press"
>for $17.95 per copy, plus $3.00 per copy for shipping and handling
>(California residents add $1.39 sales tax per copy), to:
>
>	Thaneros Press
>	P.O. Box 773
>	Lone Pine, CA  93545
>
>Most orders shipped within two days of receipt.
>
>"Fascinating reading, both as a human story and as invaluable data on the
>long term, serious use of psychedelics for psychological and spiritual
>growth!  We need books like these, they are too rare."  -- Charles T. Tart,
>author of Altered States of Consciousness and Transpersonal Psychologies.
>
>"I wish I could have had Myron as a Sunday School teacher to prepare me for
>my own psychedelic rites of passage: it would have helped me save about ten
>years of struggle."  -- George Greer, MD, MDMA researcher/therapist,
>co-founder of the Heffter Research Institute.

=============================================================================

From: Robert Jesse
Newsgroups: alt.drugs,alt.drugs.psychedelics,alt.drugs.culture
Subject: THANATOS TO EROS: exerpts from book
Date: 12 Mar 1995 09:18:42 GMT

Date:    Sun, 08 Jan 95 16:16 CST
From: Tom Roberts
Subject: Guide: Stolaroff, Myron. Thanatos to Eros

Stolaroff, Myron J. (1994). Thanatos to Eros: Thirty-five Years
of Psychedelic Exploration. Berlin: Verlag fur Wissenschaft und
Bildung.

ISBN:  3-86135-453-5

Description:  hardcover, 192 pages.

Contents:  foreword by Alexander T. Shulgin and Ann Shulgin,
preface, acknowledgments, introduction, 15 chapters, Appendix I.
Foundation [International Foundation for Advanced Study] Papers,
Appendix II. Degree of Intensity Scale, Appendix III. Procedure,
Appendix IV, The Nature of the Self.

Note: available from Thaneros Press, P.O. Box 773, Lone Pine, CA.
93545. Price $17.95 per copy, shipping and handling $3.00.
California residents add $1.39 tax per book.

Excerpt(s):   My major vocational accomplishment was growing up
with Ampex Corporation. Ampex started as a very small, obscure
firm manufacturing electric motors and grew into a world leader
in the field of magnetic recording.  I progressed from design
engineer of magnetic recording components to production engineer
to application engineer to Director of Instrumentation Sales to
Assistant to the President for Long Range Planning.
     It was in the last position that I had my first encounter
with LSD.  At the time I was familiar with the frontiers of many
technological fields of knowledge, for we were designing special
magnetic recording equipment to aid research in most of these
fields: telemetering essential information from missiles and
aircraft that would aid in making design decisions, automotive
engineering, geophysical exploration, recording the output of
various sensing devises in laboratories, computers, and finally
developing the world's first successful video tape recorder.  I
felt abreast of most scientific developments.  Yet after my first
LSD experience, I stated with confidence about LSD: "This is the
greatest discovery that man has ever made."  While I have learned
a great deal in the ensuing years about the proper use and misuse
of this substance, nothing has ever brought into question the
accuracy of this evaluation. (page 18)

     And the revelations also included profound realizations that
God is absolutely real, and that there is only One Person, of
which we are all a part.  I held LSD to be the most important
discovery man has ever made, and would devote my life to learning
more about it and how to use it effectively, not only for myself
but for others. (page 24)

     I grew confident in my understanding of how to work with
this substance, and verified that LSD was not a psychotomimetic
as the medical profession claimed.  I also understood why they
made the claim.  I see two major factors. If one has no
understanding of the vast dimensions of the mind beyond ordinary
experience (such as extra-sensory perception) or the spiritual
basis of reality, one might feel that experiencing such
actualities is insanity. (page 25)

     A key experience came for me in 1959, when I took a much
larger dose than usual, 150 micrograms, Al [Hubbard] deeming that
I was ready for it.  The outstanding event of this experience was
a dynamic breakthrough in which I was shown that Jesus was God,
and that I was God!  With this realization I broke down
completely and sobbed and sobbed without letup for fifteen
minutes.  Later I sat down to play the piano, and played as I
have never played before.  I felt that I was playing the music as
the composer realized it, and able to express the marvelous depth
of feeling the composer was portraying.  This experience led to a
quantum-step improvement in my ability to play the piano, which
remained with me from that time on. (page 27)

     One cannot help but ponder the strange dichotomy that the
nation based on establishing individual freedom has now outlawed
every substance which might aid in the exploration of that last
and most important frontier, the human mind.  Alexander Shulgin,
world-renowned chemist in the field of psychoactive drugs, is
quoted in a recent periodical: "Our generation is the first ever
to have made the search for self-awareness a crime." (page 37)

     For those who have been privileged to enter the sacred
regions and appreciate the vast array of learning at our
disposal, the psychedelics are priceless substances.  But one
stands out as especially unique, with outstanding characteristics
exclusively its own.  This is MDMA, code name for 3.4-
methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine.  The most fitting description
that I can give it is that it is an outstanding Grace. (page 41)

     After a number of trials of MDMA with other people, it
became apparent that his was the best substance with which to
introduce people to psychoactive drugs.  With other substances,
we had always used great care to make sure that the subject was
ready for an experience that would greatly alter his perceptions,
understanding, and perhaps his view of himself and his behavior.
MDMA is so generally euphoric and non-threatening that a much
wider range  of subjects can benefit from the experience without
discomfort. (page 42)

     If one's psyche if relatively clear, the descent is quite
euphoric, and the remainder of the day is spent in a very
satisfying state of contentment.
     However, if there is unresolved material in the unconscious
that did not get dealt with completely, the drop in the action of
the drug seems quite sudden, and one is left physically
uncomfortable and somewhat unsettled.
     To counteract this we thought, why not supplement with
another, more powerful substance?  This turned out to be a
splendid idea. ...
     This worked very effectively.  In fact, everyone invariably
reported that their experience with the psychedelic supplement
was better than using that particular substance alone.  MDMA is
an empowering launching pad. (page 43)

     She had a remarkable breakthrough.  She was positive that
she was going to die, so she decided to let herself die.  She
melted into the ground, and then appeared before a profound,
brilliant light, the throne of God.  She knew that she was with
God, and that she was God. She was in ecstasy, and began to sing.
She turned into a delightful little girl, utterly alive, bright,
full of joy and wisdom.  She was so beautiful, inside and out,
that she was a joy to witness.  She felt her channel was wide
open directly to the Source and was extremely insightful about
whatever took our attention. (page 47)

     As I review my own use of the sacraments, I am aware that
much of my life has been a struggle to become free of ponderous
weights that seem to drag like heavy anchors.  But as the anchors
were recognized and cut free, and more importantly, as I
recognized and accepted the forces in the universe that are there
to pick up the weights and cut the entangling ropes, I was able
to achieve greater freedom and joy. (page 180)

     I can see that when immersed in the celestial light, life is
completely transformed.  As Brother Lawrence describes in The
Practice of the Presence of God, the most menial task can be
irradiated with this heavenly light that it is our privilege to
emit.  The most irksome task can be an act of worship and
celebration. (page 181)

     When I am whole, there is no distinction between God and
myself. Such concepts disappear, and life flows with an
indescribable, spontaneous grace.  But in my present state many
things pull me down, and I cannot maintain such a state of
wholeness.  When I relapse, the most effective means I have found
to establish my true self is my understanding of being a partner
with God, and of how this partnership works. This is a
partnership, as I understand it, that every being must work out
for him/herself.  Full partnership requires a comprehensive
understanding of the remarkable role that we have been created to
fill, and how unstintingly our loving endeavors are supported.
Short of full union with God, it is in this partnership that life
reaches its most glorious, sublime, exciting, purely joyous
heights.
     It is my earnest hope that these pages have revealed enough
information to inspire others to start or deepen their commitment
to the path of true fulfillment. (pages 182-183).