How to Have a Bad Trip...
Alienate Friends, Get Hospitalized,
or Die from Taking Relatively Safe Drugs
Alienate Friends, Get Hospitalized,
or Die from Taking Relatively Safe Drugs
(18 Tips for Maximizing Risk)
April 2016
Citation: Erowid. "How to Have a Bad Trip, Alienate Friends, Get Hospitalized, or Die from Taking Relatively Safe Drugs." Erowid.org. Apr 1, 2016. www.erowid.org/psychoactives/humor/humor_article1.shtml
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- Don't spend any time learning about the drug(s) you are taking. Drugs are drugs, they get you high. LSD, caffeine, bath salts, whatever, they're all the same.
- Dealers know best about the drugs they sell. They will provide all relevant information. After all, they're the experts!
- Your dealer knows best about your dosage. The price always includes a personalized assessment of your body weight, biological sensitivities, experience, mood, and setting.
- Vendor labeling is completely accurate. If it says 99% pure on the label or the website, it's true. All vendors use independent lab testing to verify what they sell and how pure it is.
- Eyeball the dose. This is an especially reliable method if you have experience measuring other powders or liquids of completely different concentrations, purities, or textures.
- Personal test-doses are stupid. Trying a very low measured dose the day or week before you trip is a waste of time and of drugs. If it turns out to be something mislabeled, you can handle it. The sense of uncertainty is exhilarating!
- Get drunk first. Ethanol will give you courage, especially if you're not actually sure about what you're taking. Alcohol has the added benefits of promoting disinhibition, reducing dexterity, and clouding judgment.
- Lick the baggie or bottle after you've measured your dose. You want to get every drop or speck of its content in you, right now.
- Sleep deprivation makes everything better. If you've barely slept lately, it's a really great time to trip (or re-dose). Sleep has no impact on your psychological wellbeing.
- Paranoia is your friend. It gives you insight into secret thoughts of others, especially if they seem ominous. (Is your friend *really* showing up to check on your wellbeing, or are they fucking with you?) It also reveals the hidden malevolent beings that want to probe you for research. They may get you anyway, but at least you can show them you know the score!
- Avoid the "dreaded underdose". The best way to do this is to take twice as much of anything you're offered.
- Don't wait to redose. If it's taking more than thirty minutes to kick in, take more! Either it's bunk so nothing happens, or you're going to get extra high, sooner. You can't lose!
- Mental health doesn't matter at all. If you or your family have a history of psychosis or bipolar disorder, ignore it, especially if you are taking daily medications. Everyone knows medications never interact with psychoactive drugs.
- It's a great idea to trip when you're grieving or upset. After a row with your partner, following a major loss, or even just getting bad news will do. Psychedelics are especially good at helping dull emotional pain.
- When tripping at home, dose in secret. Best done alone in your basement or room, away from parents, housemates, or significant others that you're hiding from.
- If dosing in public, do it around an unsympathetic and ideally somewhat aggressive crowd. Bonus if the music is disturbing and emotionally heavy.
- Get behind the wheel as you come up. Psychedelics, sedatives, cough syrup, and painkillers all make you a better driver. In any case, cars never break down, and traffic and weather favor the confused tripper, it's a scientific fact.
- Don't worry about getting a friend or experienced guide to act as a sitter. If you get too high and you're tempted to play in traffic or take off all your clothes and run around, they would just try to stop you from having a complete experience.
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Disclaimer
This tongue-in-cheek look at some of the poor decisions people make when taking psychoactives is meant for entertainment and should not be construed as advice. To read a straightforward perspective on *good* decision-making, please see The Fundamentals of Responsible Psychoactive Use.
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