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Horrifying and Forever Helpful
Citation:   Herman S. "Horrifying and Forever Helpful: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp100206)". Aug 15, 2019.

  smoked Cannabis (daily)
  8 g oral Mushrooms  
I recently got the idea to take a vacation to Peru to try Ayahuasca, something I first read about in, 'The Serpent and the Rainbow'. I read that book the year I graduated high school in 1989, the same year I first tried LSD. Aya scared the shit out of me, as it is basically long-lasting DMT. So here I sat all these years later, researching it. I am still very hesitant to try it and I found out that a 'heroic' or 'shamanic' does of Mushrooms is supposed to possibly cause this same kind of 'flip', from this body/world, into the next.

I have used LSD a hundred times since 1989, with an 8 year period away from it in my late 20's/early 30's. I have smoked cannabis daily through an odd array of 2-3 year jobs, including law enforcement, teaching, residential treatment centers, disc jockeying, steel mills, sales, restaurants and bar tending. I have primarily been a musician though and I have been drinking since I could walk. I have consumed entire half gallons of vodka. I even tried shrooms finally when I was almost forty, twice I did maybe 2g's and got little to nothing from it.

So now that you know I am no lightweight, let me proceed with this insanity. A friend of mine earlier in the year gave me about 18g as a Christmas present thinking, like me, that shrooms may be a good warm-up before I go running off to the jungle and spending thousands of dollars. I took 1.7g and nothing happened. I had heard quotes from Terence Mckenna saying that the problem isn't in taking too much but, too little. He suggests 5g. I figured at 6'2' and 240 lbs. I'd better take 6g but in my next two sessions I took 8g instead.

Sometimes you can actually get what you want, and then it is a motherfucker. The first session I was pulled into space and hung in front of a black hole and then watched a ghost pass through me as I dropped down into the fetal position. The rest of the trip was survivable but I was glued to the floor for about 4 hours at what in my mind looked like a mountain on top of me. This mountain was dripping in one solid layer as if caramel was running all down it. The 'caramel' part was really very tiny bands of repeating symbols, everything from jean pockets to sandwich icons were lining up in striations all the way around it. The hallucinations were strange in that they were only there when I closed my eyes and even then it was if the whole thing was just implied. After recovering I had 2 weeks of what felt like the clean slate that Ayahuasca leaves people with. I haven't drank more than about 3/4ths of a beer since. I was finally able to let go of my divorce from 2 years before, even the hate that was building in me for the guy who stole my wife of 15 years away with his magic bag of meth. I was finally forgiving people and even myself.

However - my dumbass was determined to get through that black hole/pupil of an eye thingy. I wanted to experience ego death and look back at my body from the spirit world. Well, I took the 2nd dosage of 8g's two weeks after
I took the 2nd dosage of 8g's two weeks after
that. This time I had not only the most intelligent person I have ever met with me but he is also an insanely brave psychonaut. He brought a huge crystal bowl that you run a stick around the ring to make it sing like you would a wine glass with your finger. It was in the key of G designed to tune the throat chakra.

Having him there helped me, he took the same amount but after yakking and crapping (things I never did do during either session) was just fine and ready to be my personal shaman. As I started the slide out of my body he was there to calmly ask me annoying questions concerning how bad it really was that I was getting ready to go 'bye-bye'. When that moment finally came, a blue-print style grid in yellow of the whole room lifted up and spun off into space like some Twilight Zone shit, my friend started to break up and dissolve as if he was being teleported away from me and the whole, somewhat dark, room turned into a universe of stars. I was still able to fight it though and spent the next 4 hours swimming on my carpet, coming back in loops of total awake to deep dreaming/riding the fractal patterns of universe and information. I could NOT get off the floor for about 5 hours! The singing bowl was my savior for awhile as it created a huge river of light that I was swimming through in my head. It helped me set loose a LOT of anxieties by keeping my body moving with all of this energy. While inside of this madness I started to think of my enemies and they seemed like my newborn son did 14 years ago, beautiful little naive beings. Being in this non-ordinary reality is what I now call the, 'cosmic stomping'. It really scrubbed me out. I notice that music and sex both seem like they did when I was 14 again. The world itself is a brighter place and my life-long depression and 3-year long stomach problems have vanished, probably due to my lack of alcohol, and so it is with holistic healing.

It is also scarier than anything I have ever experienced in 42 years. I am glad that I no longer have access to shrooms. I believe I am done for awhile. Taking small dosages just to watch a movie or see a concert seems disrespectful to the mycelium. Shamanic doses are harder than a kick-start on a bulldozer. I seriously doubt I'll ever try Ayahuasca at all, unless the 'flip' is quicker. I don't think one can ever get used to that dimension shift feeling.

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 100206
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 42
Published: Aug 15, 2019Views: 610
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Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Alone (16)

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