DOSE:

18

oral

Mushrooms - Panaeolus cyanescens

BODY WEIGHT:

87 kg

Here I will try to narrate the experience I had after ingesting magic mushrooms. After ingesting about 18 psychedelic mushrooms (Copelandia cyanescens) at about 11pm I sat down with some other fellow 'trippers' and waited to see what would happen.

I began to feel mild effects almost immediately. I felt kind of 'cool'. Like somehow the room, the people, the whole place was just more interesting. My mood was good and I enjoyed just sitting there looking at the carpet or talking to people as they came in and out. I noticed one particular person who had ingested a lot more mushrooms than me came in and started talking to us. His pupils were huge and I wondered what he would be experiencing later in the night.

After some time I went outside to pee, still feeling cool and the other people sitting on the couch got up and left. I walked to the large camp fire to talk to the other party goers. People asked me how I felt and I just said I felt kind of cool. At this point the effects were still pretty mild and I was under the impression that the whole trip would be just that - pretty mild. Oh how wrong I was.

I noticed I was feeling more sensitive to the people around me. One person in particular made me feel pretty edgy. He seemed really nervous and talked with a stutter. I had nothing against him but his jitteriness was putting me on edge and I was definitely feeling the effects of the mushrooms now. I made an excuse to not talk to him and he went away somewhere else.

In the mean time I caught a conversation between D. (who was not tripping) and an American guy. They were talking work and money. I heard D. mention a large amount of cash that he’d acquired (honestly) through his work and interrupted their conversation. D. stopped talking to the American guy and started talking to me about his work. I followed for some time but just couldn’t get into the conversation. The mushrooms were enhancing my mood and making me feel detached and uninterested in worldly affairs. I just wanted to chill out and not talk too much. I was just enjoying the feeling.

I think at this point I decided to get some music to listen to as the music the Dj’s were playing was too harsh and aggressive to match my mood. I went to get my ipod and fumbled with it looking for the right tracks to play. I found something suitable – Mirage by Radioactive Sandwich - and went back to the campfire to chill out and listen to my music. R. noticed me fumbling with my ipod, trying to conceal the headphone wire inside my jacket so it wouldn’t get caught on something. He remarked that the mushrooms had hit me pretty hard. At this point I still didn’t realise how strong an effect the mushrooms were having on me and I shrugged off his remark and continued fumbling with the headphone wires.

When I had finally managed to conceal the wires in my jacket D. asked me what I was listening to and I said he could have a listen so I unpacked the wires and handed him the ipod. He really enjoyed the music and wouldn’t give it back. I feigned to be really annoyed as I’d brought the music out for me to listen to, but let him enjoy the tunes nonetheless.

In the mean time I went to get some firewood to put on the fire. Everything around me seemed sort of larger and more vivid. I noticed some patterns in the sand which seemed to really stand out. It was just tire tracks from the quad bike but they seemed really interesting and more defined for some reason. Like an artist had deliberately painted them to look like some significant pattern. I got some wood and put it on the fire. I noticed that my judgement and control of my body and surroundings was slightly impaired, like I was drunk, although my mind didn’t feel drunk. This was when I realised that I was really feeling the effects.

D. finally finished listening to the song so I took the ipod back off him and proceeded to struggle to arrange the headphones and ipod in a similarly concealed manner that I had them in before. I listened to the music for a while but then told N. who had sat down near me that I would ‘go look at the stars for a while’. He was also tripping on mushrooms so understood clearly what I wanted to do.

I walked around for a while (feeling a little bit lost and disorientated) until I found a good spot away from the people and other loud music so I could enjoy the stars in peace. I lay down on the grass and dirt and looked up. I was amazed at what I saw.
The whole sky was alive. The stars danced and moved in patterns, and the clouds passing overhead seemed to fly like Chinese dragons. The groups of stars took on a three dimensional quality so that some seemed closer than others. The sky was pulsating with its own natural rhythm which the amazing music from my ipod was enhancing. I felt connected with the whole universe, like everyone and everything in it was part of the same whole. It was like the stars loved and cared for me and everything in the world. This was probably the highest point of the whole trip as I was still pretty lucid and the effects of the mushrooms hadn’t become too overwhelming. Had I had a nice blanket to lie on I probably could have layed there all night by myself just marvelling at the beauty of the universe. Unfortunately this was not the case and I worried about the cold and if people might start to worry where I was and if I was ok.

So I got up and walked back to the campfire feeling amazing and tried to explain to some of them just how amazing I was feeling. They sympathised with me as they were familiar with their effects. So I just sat there for a while, fumbling with my ipod until I realised I’d ran out of water. I went back to the kitchen to fill my bottle up. I noticed I was feeling a lot more disorientated and was having difficulty negotiating my bag. The effects of the mushrooms were starting to become a bit too much. I was feeling ‘half amazing, half overwhelmed’. I filled my bottle up with water and started to walk back but bumped into someone else. I talked to him for a while about music but I didn’t really know the guy that well and didn’t enjoy talking to him as I was starting to feel quite overwhelmed by the mushrooms.

Again I made an excuse to finish the conversation and walked back to the fire. I sat down and talked to D.. He asked me how I was doing and I said it was getting pretty intense, but there was nothing I could do about it now, I just had to ride it out for the next few hours. He agreed with me, having been there before himself. This was about 1am.

For the next few hours the trip was really intense. On the one hand I did feel kind of normal, still myself and the environment seemed just the way it was. On the other hand reality seemed to be ‘shifting’ constantly and it was really difficult to maintain conversation. However I just went with it as best I could, not fighting or resisting it as I new this wouldn’t help but would make things work. I felt really disorientated and lethargic like I didn’t want to move or get up. If I closed my eyes I would see shifting patterns in my minds eye and I would get lost in them for a while until I heard a noise or something.

Yet at the same time I still felt that ‘connectedness’ with the rest of the universe and could perceive and a profound beauty in all things. I reassured myself thinking ‘the universe loves me’ and just sat there conversing with D. with my reality shifting around and inside of me.

At one point in the trip when I was really starting to get lost in the patterns in my mind (staring at the stars seemed to intensify this experience) I started to feel my ego sort of dissolving so there was no difference between me and the whole universe, like I and every living thing WAS the universe, and the whole universe was made of pure loving energy. Unfortunately I was still a bit overwhelmed and scared to really give in to this experience and I clung to ‘normality’ by talking with the people around me. I was kind of scared that I might lose my mind, although from what I have read about other people’s experiences this wouldn’t have happened, instead I would have experienced something truly deep and profound.

Nonetheless I did get a sense of the profound and infinite beauty that is this universe. I could sense the inner fear and negativity that was stopping me from fully experiencing the incredible beauty and love in the world. I knew I had to make my mind more peaceful and connect with the beauty of nature. I remarked to E. : “The world is a beautiful place, if you only allow it to be.”

I was overwhelmed and a bit frightened with the intensity of my experience but also incredibly grateful for it. I knew this would be a night I would never forget.

As the trip was starting to lose its intensity I went to the toilet and looked up at the stars. They were still dancing and making three dimensional patterns and I marvelled at their incredible beauty.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 100872
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Feb 7, 2023	Views: 331
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Mushrooms - Panaeolus cyanescens (185) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Nature / Outdoors (23), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)