Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Mind Detergent. "Kind in Small Doses: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp100883)". Erowid.org. May 26, 2021. erowid.org/exp/100883
Psilocybin Is Kind in Small Doses
I donít know where to begin, but I acquired 1.4 grams of very potent psilocybin cubensis mushrooms and I decided that I wanted my first psychedelic trip to be this weekend, and Iím a bit hung over, but here goes!
I honestly was conflicted and unsure if I was ready to try a psychedelic substance, being that I am an anxious person, and although I havenít been too particularly sad lately, I did just come out of a long term relationship roughly two months ago. I had only smoked weed about four or five times previously, and have never been drunk or consumed substances recreationally apart from the weed. Anyways, moving on, I had mentally prepared myself, as well as physically, by fasting. Hereís how it all played out.
11:00 - My best friend accompanied me and although straightedge himself, he had spent an extensive time reading up on forums on how to be a stimulating, cautious, sober trip sitter. We decided to initially begin my journey at a vast, forest like local park. We found a small shaded area beneath a tree, and I frantically grabbed a very tiny dried mushroom and mixed it in with some applesauce. I placed the gooey applesauce mushroom mix into my mouth and it did not necessarily taste bad, but the consistency was unappealingly awkward. Luckily I had some peanut M&Mís, which made the chewing and swallowing much more pleasant. I downed some Sunny D and hoped for the best.
11:11-11:20 - I began to feel mildly stoned and euphoric, but a very clear headed, sharp stoned (unlike weed). I could feel myself grinning stupidly at the greenery before me. I giggled lightly while walking alongside my best friend.
11:45 -12:00 We had walked towards a dead end part of the park that was fenced off, and I began to feel it come on a little more. I turned and glanced at the roadway, and the curvature of it seemed so exaggerated andÖintriguing. At this point, I was sweating very much, but I didnít notice it at all (my physiological needs seemed to be pushed into the subconscious). I saw construction equipment that was a mustardy yellow, but it seemed so beautiful to me. We decided to walk back, and the trees grew exponentially taller as I tripped on. The walk seemed endless, but my best friend was set on finding the parkís duck pond. When we arrived at the duck pond, I glanced at the stone ground, and its pattern jumped out at me, blues, purples, pinks all transformed into a sharp pattern that I fell in love with. We sat down and maybe stayed there for a good forty five minutes.
12:00-12:45 - I sat down on the bench, and I could feel it very strongly now. I was trembling and shaking all over. My head felt very heavy like I was dragging it with my body. I compared the trembles to feeling like being devoured alive by creepy crawlers. I was still very smiley though; my cheeks ached, my whole face ached from my childish grins and giggles. My cheekbones felt like they were jutting out of my face, like rods. I kept licking my lips wondering if I still existed. I started feeling nauseated and I eventually threw up once, but it didnít feel like I threw up at all. My puke looked lovely at the time, a bright orange with obvious little chewed caps and stems splattered in the mix. I laughed, but my friend seemed a bit worried and I panicked I wouldnít feel as high because I puked some of the contents up. Nevertheless, my childish urges led me to rub my own shoes in the throw up and it disappeared.
I began to examine just where we were. The pond seemed to be expanding, or even engulfing and coming closer to us. Probably the zooming in effect. It was curved rather dramatically like a fish eye lens, and I attested to it coming at us at 70 mph. The trees on the other side of the pond seemed to move up and down, and then seemed freeze frame for minutes on ends. I laughed saying they hadnít moved in 5 years. My eyes turned to a small waterfall, and the glistening waves of liquid resembled the luminosity of the sun. Children passed by screaming and their voices seemed like audibly distorted, very stretched out. Their laughs sounded sort of dark. At this point in my trip, the dark kind of ominous feeling subsided a bit. I reminded myself constantly I was in control. My friend and I then decided to find a new spot to explore. When I arose from the bench, I felt heavy as hell and thought to myself, I am fucked up. Is this what drunk felt like? I was still pretty perceptive though.
12:45 - 1:30 - We ended up finding another tree to lay under, and a family 10 feet away were having a wholesome barbecue. It seemed like the sky was dark, or vignetted, and the scene was very soft as I recall. I had brought art supplies and a new notebook in hopes I would be able to create something that expressed my perceptions. That however didnít happen and I spent ten minutes examining crayons and highlighters and my friend had called a blue crayon green to trick me, but I could still differentiate hues. I whipped out the notebook and it sparkled and appeared so soft, it was like opening up the pages to a a sacred scripture. I intently ran my fingers over the paper and decided it was much too pristine for me to deface with my cheap and probably impaired art skills. Laying down, I focused in on the underbelly of the tree we were under. The leaves seemed to change in appearance. Sometimes sharp and other times resembled fat grapes, like it was embossed. I talked with my friend for a while, and we heard some woman say something in Spanish and both turned to each other exclaiming, ďeeeew.' I spewed a lot of childish existential, politically charged and even random rants that trailed off into even more tangents. I apparently said the word notion frequently as well as ďhow very impolite.' I closed my eyes and saw light trails. My friend urged for a new change in scenery.
1:30-2:30 - As we were walking, I began to wonder if I had to urinate. I expressed my concerns to my friend, who would have pretended to be a girl (he has long hair) and waited by the bathroom stall for me. I ended up believing I didnít have to pee, so I slammed myself down under another tree, but it seemed dull and grey to my eyes. We spent this hour laying down, and conversating some more. It wasnít as stimulating as our previous locations, though I was still very happy regardless. I kept telling my friend how I expected music to sound more better under psychedelics as I experience. Ed with weed.
2:30-3:50 - We decided to leave the park and as we walked past a row of very tall trees, I was in awe of them yet again. We made our way to the very forest like parts of the park, where I felt like a sojourner woodsman or a heart lumber jack. I just very much appreciated the forest like nature while under the spell of psilocybin. As we edged towards the main road, cars seemed to appear slower than usual, and fatter in diameter. I scanned the roadways, but what caught my attention was how long the street stop light things extended into the street. The LED red, yellows, and greens all seemed pleasing to the eye, but green mostly. It looked like it was blended with a blue hue, and just very soft looking. We crossed the street, and my friend held my hand to keep me safe. We walked a bit, and made it past a bus stop and a woman there smiled at us and said hello kids, and we exchanged hellos back and she exclaimed she wanted my best friendís hair. He blushed a bit.
We walked to a Dollar store and he ended up purchasing ripppled chips, mozzarella cheese shreds and pixie stix. I noticed them people looked very hideous to me. My friend needed to use the restroom. It was an eternity that spanned a few minutes, but I distracted myself by appreciating the holographic gift bags and ribbons. When he came out I felt so relieved like I was a lost child and he was my mother. As we made our way back to the bus stop, the woman from earlier was there and approached us almost immediately after she caught our eye. She had a few missing teeth, leathery skin, a highlighted hair and an unlit cigarette dangled from her finger gaps. She was in her fiftyís I presumed. She talked a bit more to my friend and attested that my friend looked like someone in Journey. She absolutely was into his looks, even wondering if he was a model. She asked us how old we were and if we were in the music business which we denied. She said she had worked in a recording studio with rock stars and we looked like we were in bands. When she left we realised we had forgot to tell her we were planning to be in a band someday. Although distraught we wouldnít meet her again, I was still grateful I had a stimulating conversation tripping with a stranger. We waited some more for the bus, but a guy who looked like a fly told us that it wouldnít be by for a good hour or so. My friend and I walked off again to a nearby thrift shop.
The high was still heavy, but not as intense as the peak. I examined hats and found a beanie that was bright bright orange and ironically it said donít buy it, so naturally I wanted to buy it. As we inched towards a mirror, I noticed how dilated my pupils were. They were 80% of my eye. We walked around more and I grabbed a bunch of antique what have Yourís that seemed pertinent to me at the time. I begged my friend to buy me a German wine bottle that was shaped into a cat, a vintage photo and frame of a maiden gazing out whilst clutching a basket of flowers, a snowflake sweater, a boot cup and a giant pink crayon. The televisions at the store seemed very 90ís, how grunge. The sounds from the TV and people talking sounded so alien. Making our way to the bus, I felt embarrassed clutching a giant pink crayon. The bus eventually came and we made it back into town.
3:50-6:00 - We ended up getting Chinese food which tasted fantastic, but I became full quickly. I had to urinate. As I went to the bathroom the walls curved oddly, and I walked in the bathroom and took my pants off and stood in the stall thinking Iím half naked with all these strangers in a room. I told myself to pee and others might have found that must have found that a bit odd. We kept calling our friends in hope we could hang out, yet they all seemed very busy. I ate some pixie sticks and felt a compulsion to clean my hands. Again, people looked ugly.
6:00-8:30 - We walked home, a good three miles and I kept singing to the Beatles and felt like the high was fading, but still there. Street lights still seemed visually Ďsoftí. We made a pit stop at another store merely for stimulation. We didnít buy anything. We made it to a small park in my area of the city, and we just sat there, exchanging conversations once more. He tickled me and I ended up giggling like a crying child. We recorded it thusly. I unintentionally gazed at a cute Caucasian couple kissing and I felt really empathetic and happy for them. As I made my way home, I was not tripping, but I felt a stoned kind of high and was able to function or appear to function soberly. My head was throbbing and I had a massive headache before typing up this trip report.
I had an immensely positive first experience and Iím more than ecstatic about future psychedelic substances. I just felt immensely new, perceptive, and incredibly overwhelmed. By the way, I canít sleep. Iím stoked for the horizons that acid will bring me. Goodnight or morning all.
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