DOSE:

3.5 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

This report will describe, in the best of my abilities, my first time experiencing the effects psilocybin mushrooms at its full potential. This experience happened the second time I've ever taken mushrooms. The first time I ever took mushrooms was when I was around 21-22 years of age. In this first trial, me and my close friend split an eighth of mushrooms (each of us ate 1/2 of an eighth), along with several swigs of codeine/promethazine cough syrup, as well as 3 or 4 joints of marijuana, while my buddy drove us around in his truck. I did not experience the mushrooms as purely as I wanted. Instead, I only felt a mixture of an intense marijuana high, wooziness from the codeine syrup, occasional nausea and visual distortions from the mushrooms. Overall, my first time taking mushrooms was more of a remarkably euphoric joy ride rather than a total mind f*cking experience.

Now I'm 24 (height: 5'9', weight: 160 lbs), and this time I've decided to take an entire eighth of dry mushrooms, along with a very small dose of marijuana smoke through a glass pipe (approx 0.3 g of marijuana). The plan was to take it with the same buddy that I've had my first experience of mushrooms with, but due to bad timing and scheduling, it didn't work out. I read some articles online about the idea of taking mushrooms in solitude could cause a very spiritual experience, and I was immediately intrigued. My plan was to stay inside my house, in my music studio and near my backyard for the entire mushroom trip. Before taking these mushrooms, I had no idea about how mushrooms could create a Ego-Death experience. I only had the general idea that mushrooms were supposed to develop hallucinations and distinct feelings of euphoria. I researched some preparation techniques. Although I read about some experiences people wrote about on mushroom trips, I consciously decided to negate or ignore their word in order to push and encourage myself to experience it for myself. It was like using reverse psychology on myself. It worked.

Here was my experience:

At my house around 4:30 PM, I took out the dry mushrooms and started to eat the caps and stems, one or two of them at a time, chewing them very thoroughly before swallowing. I've had nothing to eat that entire day until I started to eat the mushrooms. I was a little hungry so I decided to eat the mushrooms with 1 and a half slices of pizza, a bottle of water, and a cup of cranberry juice.

By 4:45-4:50 PM, I've managed to finish eating the eighth of mushrooms, and I took my dog out for a walk to waste some time until the effects kicked in.

I walked my neighborhood for approximately 20 to 30 minutes. I was anticipating the mushrooms to kick in during the walk but it didn't happen until I arrived back at the house. I went inside, I let my dog go upstairs to stay with my sister and I went downstairs in my music studio. I turned on some random playlist of music with different genres on the studio monitors, and I lied down on the couch while I started to text with a couple of people on the phone. All of a sudden my hands and feet became really sweaty. It reminded me of the clammy hand symptom that I felt with previous uses of MDMA. I stood up, proceeded to wipe my hands on my shirt/pants and started to walk around the room in light panic and anxiety. Soon my head and my body started to feel very heavy, so I lied back down on the couch. I started to feel light nausea, then all of a sudden I started to break out in laughter. Things became pretty funny for no apparent reason. I decided to take this trip outside, into my backyard.

Once I flung the door open, I started to analyze everything around the backyard. Visually, nothing seemed out of the ordinary for a minute or two. Then I stared at the beige brick wall of my neighbor's house. Soon I started seeing movements and distortions on the wall. The crevices and the details of the bricks were moving randomly and my laughter continued. I stared at the plants, and ground, but nothing was out of the ordinary with them, for now. Then I decided to stare at the sky and the clouds. When I stared into the clouds without blinking, the clouds began to grow, become wavy and distorted in their shapes, and the clouds would move in ways I would've never imagined. When I blinked my eyes, the clouds would return into their regular positions. I would repeat this act for about 10 minutes: stare, blink, stare, blink. The distortions became really intense to the point where the clouds started dissolve into kaleidoscopic patterns. At this point I went back inside my house so that I can grab my weed and my glass pipe.

Before I went back outside to smoke the marijuana, I started to feel a little queasy feeling in my stomach, so I went into the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and stared at the door. The door and the doorknob started to look like it was breathing. I cracked up laughing. I only managed to urinate and then I quickly got up out of the bathroom.

Once I left the bathroom I started to feel the heaviness of my head and body once again, so I decided to stay inside and lie down on the bed for a while before I went back outside again to smoke. I stared at the holes on the ceilings where the light bulb sockets were. The holes started moving in ways that a person's mouth would and my laughter ensued. The sunlight shining through the window onto the furniture and the ceiling seemed to have tremendous amounts of sophisticated detail and patterns to them. Then I stared at the window and looked into the trees. The trees were moving and rustling because of the wind and the sunlight shimmered through the branches into my eyes. The kaleidoscopic or geometric pattern effect emerged once again as I stared at sunlight shimmering through the tree branches. The trees seemed to be waving at me on a personal level. The sunlight became distorted from the window and the waving tree branches, and I was able to watch and enjoy the lucid colors of the visible solar spectrum. I couldn't help but shuffle around on the bed, moan, laugh and make silly noises through the this sensory trip.

After enjoying the visuals, I stood up to try to refresh myself. Once I got up I stared at my phone for a moment and the screen of my phone became either really wide or really narrow every time I blinked. I decided to shake it off, go outside, and smoke the marijuana.

By now it was approximately 5:40 PM. I went out into the grass and started puffing away on the glass pipe. During this smoke session, I couldn't help but stare at the grass and the plant life, glowing in the sunlight. My appreciation for plants grew exponentially as I finished smoking the marijuana. It got to the point where I was literally crouching down, staring at the plants and asking myself questions about its existence, creation, and beauty. I even started taking pictures of plants with my phone. Then I saw my neighbor going into her yard and she caught me off guard while I was staring in awe at the plants. It was pretty embarrassing in a way, and this unexpected situation woke me up out of the trip momentarily. But before going back inside, I caught myself staring into the clouds again for about 5 more minutes to enjoy the visuals of the sky one last time.

Once I've went back inside the house, I believe I started to reach the peak of the mushroom experience. I put down the window shades. It started to get dark outside, and the only remaining lights in the room were on the LED lights of my studio monitors, my MIDI keyboard, and my computer screen. During this moment I started to lose the sense of time. My efforts and concerns to keep track of it was gone. The euphoria, the enhanced gratification of music, and the visuals were an awesome experience so far, but I wasn't ready for what was about to happen next.

The music continued playing and I was dancing and sometime during this moment I started to realize that I couldn't feel my body. It felt as if my body was on cruise control and acting out on its own volition and authority without the intrusion of my consciousness. My body was acting out maneuvers I wouldn't have imagined. I broke out in laughter due to its surprise and amazement. It got to a point where I didn't even realize I was dancing to the music until I saw it with my eyes and understood that my body was doing so. It was as if a delay in reaction time between my Mind and my Body was taking place and had intensified to the point where there was a a complete separation of these two entities.

This realization was very interesting and confusing at the same time, and highly unexpected. By now, the concept of time had completely dissipated. I managed to quickly lie down on the bed once again so that I can calm down and try understand this phenomenon. But my Mind or my Body (or my Spirit?) urged me to get back up, to look at things, to enjoy the music and dance. It felt as if my Mind stood up first and my Body followed. This feeling was so interesting that I started moving my Mind all over the place, and have my Body follow it. During this time that I was moving and dancing, I kept looking down at my arms, legs, and hands. My Mind started asking itself 'How is my body doing this? Why is it doing this?'. My Mind began to become more and more clueless as the trip intensified, and as it stared at my arms, hands, and fingers it started to ask questions like 'What are these things(referring to my arms and hands)? What the hell is going on? What the hell is this room I'm in? What is this reality?'

Suddenly there was a feeling, a sense of incredible awe. I truly felt or knew that life was more than a material reality, that life exceeds further than this dimension of reality, that the life I ever knew and learned about up to this point meant nothing. Existence as I knew it was gone. Before this mushroom trip, I was a believer that spirits do not exist, but this experience changed that. I felt like a God, a cosmic energy, all in all a spiritual being. I couldn't help but appreciate everything and anything. I believe that this was my experience of what people call the Ego-Death. Along with the separation of Mind and Body, I've eventually lost my sense of self completely. It was as if I became a non-human, an alien spirit from another dimension, or a new-born child experiencing a distinct human life for the moment in time without any distractions or thoughts lingering from the Ego. It was like being born again, or living in someone else's shoes. It felt as if I was experiencing life as it is really is, from a standpoint that I could not understand. It was one of the most mind boggling experiences of my entire life. This all seemed to happened in a very short fragment of time.

While all of this was going on I was still dancing. I continued on my appreciation of this human life experience, and how my Body and Mind was functioning on their own, and yet stayed connected. Everything seemed to become more alien and strange to me yet incredible and unfathomable. It wasn't as scary as it was interesting. Soon I felt that I had to reconnect with myself, so I decided to go into the bathroom and stare into the mirror.

This phase of the trip brought back a sense of who I really was. My inner soul was revealed to myself. It was a great moment of reflection. I started to philosophize deeply about what I was, who I was, where I was, what I've become and was to become. This inner being started criticizing my own flaws and how I could become better as a human being, in this vessel, in this incarnation. And through the previous realization that we are all cosmic entities with limitless potential, it gave me a sense of great hope that I can achieve all that I put my mind to.

After staring at the mirror and going through this epiphany, I decided to go back into the studio. The Ego-Death had greatly diminished in its level of magnitude after the reflection phase. I still felt euphoric and couldn't stop laughing at what I've just experienced. I decided to play an online multi-player video game on my computer to test how much I could function at this point. Surprisingly enough, with the delayed reaction timing, occasional visual distortions, and persistent laughter, I was able to play the video game really well, and won every game. I played about 3 or 4 games. Soon the separation of my Mind and Body was no longer there. I looked at the time and it was around 10 PM. I turned on some oldies music and reflected on the entire trip for a few hours while lying down on my bed. Soon after, I was Googling this experience of 'mind and body separation' and landed on Erowid.org. I started reading other peoples' experiences and laughed at how similar their experiences were and how I was able to relate to so many of them. Later I became hungry and ate the rest of the pizza pie while watching some TV. I wasn't able to sleep until 5-6 AM, I kept repeating this experience over and over in my head and trying to recollect every bit of it. Later I was experiencing some mental strain and a little pressure on my head (possibly due to lack of sleep) but it disappeared the following day after an abundant amount of sleep.

Overall, the trip gave me the uncontested sense that this life we experience everyday is incredibly amazing. As far as my personally goes, I'm an avid thinker. Even before I went through this mushroom experience, I was always the type to question the purpose of this human life experience that I was living everyday: going to work, eating, sleeping, seeing friends, making music... what does it all mean and after its been lived, what happens then? The mushrooms did not give me a direct answer to the question of what the purpose was, but it gave me a great feeling that convinced me that it does not matter what the purpose is. The feeling told me to enjoy the most out of it, because it is incredible and that there is no need to question life, and that we have to appreciate this gift of life, this incarnation, this vessel, as much as we can. It helped reveal the path to my soul, the inner being, spirit without the Ego, and what it really wants out of life. The ultimate truth was revealed: that there is not much of a purpose to it, but only a yearning of a spirit. It gave me an incredible amount of appreciation of how the mind and the body works together in harmony, even though they can be separated through the use of psychedelics. It also changed my views on spirituality, it made me a true believer that a spiritual dimension exists on an intangible universe, an inconceivable platform.

What a trip.

Love, W.O.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101283
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Dec 19, 2022	Views: 263
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