Mushrooms - P. mexicana (sclerotia)
Citation: M. "Dead and Reborn Again: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. mexicana (sclerotia) (exp101362)". Erowid.org. May 22, 2022. erowid.org/exp/101362
Mexicana Truffles - Dead and Reborn Again
This was my first experience with psilocybin mushrooms. I have taken a medium dose of acid a few months before that and I've been smoking weed for about 3 years, regularly.
Me and my friend – Jasmine – went to a cool smartshop somewhere in the Netherlands where we study. The magic mushrooms are illegal in this country for a while now but Truffles are easy to get because technically the law doesn't say anything about them and they are sold in such smartshops.
We wanted to take them for a few days and and on that day we were both very excited about taking the drug. Overall, I'm quite spiritual and I think about life, existence, consciousness and other dimensions almost every day. I try to meditate every day and I had some very interesting experiences with meditation too. However a few hours before taking the trip I was very excited and I felt taking the truffles will be just a fun experience but it was actually a very spiritual experience, probably because of the way I think and perceive the world.
We decided to go for a Mexicana which meant to give us an euphoric and positive trip. We bought a 15 gram batch. I took the half of it and Jasmine took about 5 grams. We made some tea, waited for it to cool down a little bit and then soaked the truffles for 15 minutes. After that we proceeded to drink the tea and chew on the truffles for about 10 seconds and then swallowing them. We took them on empty stomach. We ate a dinner about 2 hours before taking the drug.
We took the truffles at exactly 8PM. We left my room and we went outside our student complex to sit on a grass outside. However it was rather cold and we decided to go to Jasmine's room with a guitar, and drinks and snacks in my bag.
We went in at around 8.20PM and we could already feel the effects. We started to feel disoriented and the colours already got very intense and the room started to swirl. From that point we started to lose the feeling of time and the effects got more and more intense.
I didn't know what to do with myself and I had constant mood changes. I remember that at some point I felt like going to sleep but 10 seconds later I decided it's better to do something more energetic and walk around the room etc.
By 9PM we were both feeling rather insane. The room started to feel very orange probably because of the poor lighting in the room, I could see patterns on the walls, I found it really hard to talk and express myself and I couldn't concentrate on anything.
I found it really hard to talk and express myself and I couldn't concentrate on anything.
It felt like there were thousands of different things happening at the same time. I later realised my mind was just getting used this absolutely new way of perceiving reality.
That was also the time when I started to lose connection with my physical body. That was my 'death'.
At around 9.10PM we went to the kitchen. I was very thankful for this because I desperately needed a change of environment and it did make me feel a little bit better for a while. We decided to have some water with sugar and the effects were getting even more intense.
I remember looking out of the window and I could see the traditional trippy colours and patterns overlaying the street. Even though we were only on the first floor, it felt to me like I was at least on the fourth floor when I was looking down on the street. When I popped my head back to the kitchen I felt this huge and intense wave of hallucinations kicking in. I couldn't feel much of my body except the feeling of 'floating' or feeling like I was in water.
From that point I totally lost the feeling of 'self' and all I could feel was that I was the consciousness Nothing else. The feeling of being human disappeared, same goes for any social aspects. All I remember was that I was 'floating' around this 3rd dimensional kitchen but with very altered perception and also frustration.
The hallucinations were very annoying at that time. I was very confused and I couldn't wait for the whole experience to finish. We were checking the time every 5 minutes and in the meantime trying to explain how uncomfortable we felt. At around 9.30PM we went back to the room. At that point I felt like I was in a completely different dimension. I tried to go to sleep hoping that when I wake up everything will end but because I felt like the consciousness that I was, I realised a sleep is simply not possible. It's impossible to fall asleep when you have almost no connection with your body and your mind. It felt like there was only one state I could be in and that is this eternal, spirit or consciousness that has no beginning or end and that is absolutely something out of this human world.
The time was also very distorted. The first two hours of our trip felt like a very long time which I couldn't really measure. I just felt like we were tripping for eternity but it has only been two hours. In those two hours we must have done hundreds of different things from trying to play chess to trying to go to sleep. I couldn't find an activity that would distract me from how I felt. There was simply no escape for me. I felt like a crazy person that should be locked up in a mental institution. The room itself felt like a hospital room because of the white walls and I had a feeling like I was 'ill'. It felt a bit like a nightmare and the orange tint in the room didn't help. I tried to close my eyes to get away from it but that just made me hallucinate even more and I decided it's better to try to keep myself occupied.
By 10PM we felt like what we described as 'hell' at that time although I think that's a way too extreme term because it wasn't THAT bad. We simply felt like we can't handle all those emotions, hallucinations, confusion and thoughts anymore. When we were lying on the bed, Jasmine remembered something about a guy who started to think about and love and compassion when he had bad trip on mushrooms and that it helped him. So we did the same.
And that's when I started to reborn.
At around 10.10PM our friends came back from their trip to Amsterdam and they came in to the room to see how we feel. They looked very worried because we both were still going through a bad trip but things slowly started to calm down and we tried to describe how we feel but at the same time it felt very uncomfortable to suddenly have 3 or 4 people storming into the room. Two of our friend took truffles at 10PM and we tried to warn them because of what we've been through in the past two hours. When they left I felt like I slowly coming back to my physical body and the physical reality which felt like a huge relief. I could communicate better but the hallucinations were still strong.
About 10 minutes later I felt absolutely amazing. This wave of euphoria and positivity came out of nowhere and even though I was still confused and hallucinating I finally stopped feeling this frustration and annoyance and my body started to get relaxed. This is when I realised that I died because I completely lost my connection with the everyday human experience and I was 'out there' somewhere, in a completely different world but at the same time in the room. When my consciousness – or me – started to get back down to the physical reality I felt like new born, fresh, happy but still a little bit overwhelmed by the whole experience. But relief was probably the dominating emotion at that time. I was so happy that we managed to survive the 2 hour long bad trip thanks to changing our thoughts from 'Oh my god, what the fuck is going on' to 'Peace and Love'' kind of thoughts.
From that point the hallucinations that I used to find frustrating became amazing and funny, I felt alive again and I suddenly wanted to explore the world. Everything around me was like 'Whoa!'. At around 10.30PM – 10.45PM me and Jasmine went back to kitchen – now full of people – in a completely different mood. I felt like I wanted to party, listen to music and go outside. I was extremely happy and euphoric and I didn't even think about my everyday worries or problems. I simply felt very alive like after getting off the biggest rollercoaster in the world. The huge relief I felt was like a first domino of good things to come.
After talking to people and trying to explain how I felt with huge enthusiasm and fascination, we decided to go outside. My other two friends who took truffles started to have hallucinations but they didn't have bad trip like we did, maybe because they took a different type of truffles or because they were in a group of their friends while tripping whilst me and Jasmine were on our own for the first two hours.
We left at around 11PM and the outside was absolutely beautiful. It reminded me of how I perceive the world when I'm very high on weed but this time with intense colours, lights and swirly hallucinations and no rushing thoughts. We decided to take a walk around the student complex and then we ended up at a little playground. Throughout the whole trip we were constantly laughing and describing how we felt. Everything was experimental and I felt a little bit like a child again. I had absolutely no worries on my mind and I could 'feel' the universe wherever I looked. The trees seemed like a perfect architecture of nature and the stars in the sky weren't just pretty lights we see every night. It felt like there was a blueprint behind the nature, the sky and the whole universe that manifests in our physical dimension and that it was all connected and perfect in every way. I remember when I was just looking at the sky and the moon for a few minutes and I was absolutely stunned. I could see the beauty behind it all which I can't really describe with words.
We came back to the kitchen at around 11.45PM and my hallucinations were almost gone, however the lights still seemed quite intense. I was feeling sad because they were going away. At around midnight I had a few tokes of a joint because I was hoping to get this intense euphoria and hallucinations back but it just made feel a little bit of anxiety for about 5 minutes and I decided it wasn't worth smoking.
By 00.30AM everything started to go back to normal. I stopped feeling so alive again and I just felt very tired but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep because the whole experience was very overwhelming. Me and Jasmine talked for probably about an hour and shared our experiences. We noticed that the crystals we were carrying with us had an effect on our trips. My Lapis Lazuli probably caused the very strong visuals and shift in consciousness because it relates to the third eye chakra but Jasmine's Scapolite made her focus on her physical body throughout most of the trip because it relates to the solar plexus chakra which is more about physical aspects of a person.
We were both experiencing the same things but also in a different way. I was glad to have Jasmine with me and I'm glad we went through the first two bad hours together and that later we had a great time with our friends 'exploring' the world.
One of the things I learnt about this experience is that I should always respect a drug I take. When I was about to take the truffles, I was very confident or even arrogant and I thought I'll be perfectly fine and I'll have a great time etc. but later it turned out to be a total spiritual experience for me with some fun aspects at the same time. And because I didn't appreciate the power of psilocybin mushrooms I experienced things I would never expect to experience. At that time, our first two hours felt like out of this world and I'm sure if somebody sober would see us then, they would think we were mental ;)
On the other hand though, I'm glad that things happened the way they happened
I'm glad that things happened the way they happened
because there is a lot I can learn from this kind of experience – whether it's positive or negative. The setting is what probably caused us to experience what we experienced and next time we are planning on taking truffles with our friends at the same time, preferably outside. Soaking truffles in tea is what also caused the hallucinations to kick in so quickly and I wasn't ready for it. That caused me to feel too overwhelmed and it also led to the bad trip in the beginning.
I think because for the first two hours there was just me, Jasmine and her room, we were making each other feel bad because we kept on complaining about various things. I noticed that when our friends arrived we felt much better and this made me realise that it is important to have people you love around you during your trip.
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