DOSE: T+ 0:00	100 seeds	oral	Coffee	(seeds)
T+ 0:00		smoked	Coffee	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:00	3 oz	oral	Coffee	(seeds)
T+ 0:00		smoked	Tea
T+ 7:00	1	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

243 lb

I am a relatively unhealthy 24 y/o male who is diagnosed with PTSD and Schizoaffective Disorder (Bipolar type, but I'm mostly depressed). I also am being treated for ADHD symptoms, which may be an aspect of possible Asperger's Syndrome (one professional diagnoses me with it, the next one disagrees, ad nauseam). So, anyways, my depression is especially severe. We're talking daily doses of 30 mg Abilify, 200 mg Zoloft, and 150 mg of Wellbutrin XL daily, and still depressed. This is kind of why I started using drugs (yes, the illnesses preceded major drug use by roughly 10 years). I have experience with Klonopin, Ambien, Adderall, Ritalin, kratom, caffeine, alcohol, cannabis, Oxycontin, Xanax, nutmeg, high amounts of pure chocolate, and tobacco/e-cigarettes (both nic and wta fluid). Klonopin and Ambien, along with Ritalin and Adderall, were prescribed to me (Adderall caused my original psychotic break). I've also been on numerous other psych meds. I'm a bit of a pleasure glutton and get obsessed with things so I got obsessed with drugs after trying weed. You see where this is going.

Well, anyways, I like to use caffeine to control my ADHD symptoms. Tons of it all day. Also, since starting the Wellbutrin, the buzz is potentiated. But for me the buzz is soothing, because stimulants calm us squirrely ADHDers. So while out of weed I started experimenting (weed is my drug of choice most of the time). I liked the buzz from coffee especially, so I wanted some last night. But I'm tired all the time from the depression, so I got lazy and thought to myself 'can I get a buzz from eating the beans straight?' So I Googled it and found out there's roughly 3 mg of caffeine per bean. I counted out 100 beans and ate em up. They were kinda hard to get down, as the texture was awkward when they were chewed, but taking a handful of them as pills was gaggy. Anyhow, I got them down, and then decided to smoke some grounds (actually very smooth smoking). Even after half an hour I didn't feel much of anything so I ate more. I normally notice the effect of something right after I consume it, so now I could feel the buzz as I shoveled down more. Still alright. I'm feeling a bit calmer and level and focused (adult ADHD is geared a lot toward impulsivity). I'm talking to my friend on Skype I'm and I notice myself getting happier, but with depression that kind of manifests as emotional purging, so I start getting strangely happy and irritable - kinda like I took pleasure in venting the emotions. I'm bitching about my lack of feeling of dignity as a disabled and poor man, and the cruddy non-existent love life that it adds into. But see, I like it - when I get happy I tend to be more morbid oddly enough. I take pleasure in negative stuff when I can actually feel pleasure. So I'm noticing that my old sense of identity is starting to regather due to the mood lift (I was a goth before the paranoia of being different, due to my PTSD, drove me to stop to keep myself safe). Basically my fractured sense of identity started to heal, and I was enjoying things I hadn't in years. I suspect that, if what I heard is correct, that there's an MAOI in coffee which may be responsible for these effects. Anyhow, I kept munching in little bursts, because the taste and feel of the coffee was making me a little nauseous. And then something interesting happened.

Now, aside from the fact that I noticed I was happier and, when talking, less hurried and more composed, I didn't experience anything major. Until I hit a certain point where I felt I should stop. I started feeling floaty. Mildly so but still. And then part of what I was wondering would happen started happening - mildly psychedelic effects, mainly a very small amount of mind expansion combined with an increased ease of recall of my past. I had a couple of WHOA moments, like when I realized my past really happened but is now irrecoverable (real yet nonexistent) and a greater ease of understanding of my faith (Catholicism). I guess my autism causes me to think more concretely, so things like this make abstract thinking easier. Also, I'm slightly on edge but not as hyper as normal. I don't actually feel euphoric or a rush though. But anyways, I slow down some more on the beans when I start to feel anxious and jittery. Caffeine isn't a very smooth stimulant. Well, all this took about seven hours total. I had my daily meds in my system, and 1000 mg Tylenol in me at the time, and I also smoked a little green tea here and there during this experiment. Toward the end I finished off with a cigarette.

All in all it was probably about 3 oz of arabica beans, and on a low estimate - at 1.2% caffeine per bean - I probably consumed around a gram of caffeine. Now I'm burned out and finishing this writing.

Nota bene: This was over an entire night. Consuming this much in the form of, say... Pills... Will probably kill you or at least land you in the hospital. I was able to get away with this also because I have a paradoxical reaction to stimulants.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101921
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Jun 5, 2021	Views: 1,158
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Coffee (173) : Alone (16), General (1)