Citation: feelthemusic. "Change the World With Me: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp103666)". Erowid.org. Jun 16, 2020. erowid.org/exp/103666
||(ground / crushed)
While planning our trip to a music festival, my friend E and I decided we wanted to bring some shrooms. We bought an eighth for 3 of us, which didn't seem like much, but we felt it would be an appropriate dose for being in a crowd of 80,000+ people. Anything more, we might have lost our minds and our bodies in a sea of people.
Once there, we decide that Friday the 13th was the most appropriate. Before departing our campsite, we put our ground shrooms into individual cups of applesauce and start chowing. We roll a few joints to bring with us and head over to the main music center. We enter a world where we feel so comfortable, never knowing what is to come.
Walking into the main venue, there was a wall full of graffiti and words written by passersby. We came across a beautiful paragraph written by a beautiful human, describing how we think we know what we're looking for. It went on to explain that although we think we know what we're looking for, we should keep our minds open to what we aren't looking for. There is a world out there of various kinds of love that are ready to embrace us and welcome us into a world of happiness and peace. That was the beginning of my emotional ride.
My experience with shrooms was a very psychic, if you will. I could feel energies, vibes. It's something I've been able to feel sober for some time, but was intensified by the shrooms like you wouldn't believe. We see our first show, Vampire Weekend, and the only word to describe it is incredible. The large screen on which they were filming the band felt as thought it were magnified and placed directly in front of my face. Our friends were dancing and singing; I felt as though I was the happiest, luckiest girl in the world with people who were having just as good of a time as I was. However, the mood changed rapidly. Without warning.
The next show was Kanye West. Now, I would consider myself a fan of Kanye's music. I don't respect his lifestyle, but I always credited it to him being a celebrity. At the concert, I realized I was entirely wrong. I realized the true meaning behind most of his songs- disrespecting women, establishing dominance, and just how much of an arrogant person he is. The crowd around me was screaming 'There's leaders and there's followers, but I'd rather be a dick than a swallower'. I was frightened by this, a sentence I had mindlessly sung in the car, laughed at with my friends. I was overwhelmed by the arrogance, the hostility, the disrespect coming from the crowd around me. I was upset that people would rather be screaming this horrible statement than moving to the music. I realized that majority of the crowd was there simply to say they had been there. They were there take their pictures and videos, with footage of the back of some guy's head while the tiny dot that was Kanye was singing his disturbing set in the distant background.
I started crying, bawling my eyes out. I was hoping that people were different, that my experience at this place was less of a reflection of how messy our generation is. It wasn't. It was a disturbing reality that the majority of people are after the same thing. They want to be liked, they want to be better than the next person. They fear other people being themselves and express that by hurting them or degrading them. It all made me realize we live in a mean world. I couldn't stop crying, not for a while. I felt bad for making my friends 'take care of me', but I was so upset.
At the same time, I had this incredible happiness come over me. It was enough for me to realize this horrible reality of our generation. Then I started realizing that I don't have to be that way. I thought about how different I am from the rest of my peers, how outgoing I am, all the things I like about myself. It made me realize that I have enough confidence in myself to be who I truly am. That mean people just bring negative energy in my life. 'Kill 'em with kindness' was all I could think to myself. In that moment, all I wanted to do was change the nature of the world. I wanted everyone to be silent and just listen. I wanted everyone to appreciate each other, be friends with one another, be kind.
Days later, I'm still vibing. Unfortunately, there are people who don't understand, but I realize I have a gift. A gift that was amplified by an experience, not solely a drug.
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