Citation: Beth. "Harmony of Beauty and Horror: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp104397)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2023. erowid.org/exp/104397
This is an account of my first time taking mushrooms, or my first time taking any sort of psychedelic drug. I am a frequent marijuana user, but despite a spontaneous Adderall dosage, that had been the length of my experimentation. My boyfriend has a theory that I am quite sensitive to drugs because my body will shake in response to caffeine and I have had hallucinations from smoking weed. As I saw in this first endeavour, that came to be true.
7:40 pm – The dosage
I took the mushrooms in the basement of a new friend called K, with her and my boyfriend E. My sister called B remained as a sober trip sitter. I brought her as a precaution, in case I felt anxious and required soothing.
Seeing as this was my first time I wanted just enough of the shrooms to get a taste of the experience, so I ate two stems and 1.5 of the caps. My boyfriend E (who had taken shrooms 5 times prior in his life) remarked that the shrooms appeared to be strong because they had a blue tinge to their white stems. I had heard of friends brewing teas with the mushrooms or eating them in peanut butter sandwiches to disguise the flavour, but I did not find this taste gross in the slightest. It tasted a bit like looseleaf paper. As I sat and chatted with my friends I started to feel a bit gassy, bloated and anxious/apprehensive. At the time I thought my nerves were getting the best of me but I learned later that this is a normal reaction to have upon digesting shrooms.
8:10 – Subtle wave
We bundled up and walked outside through some suburban and forested areas. At this point I felt a giddy small high. My vision seemed more vivid but no hallucinating yet. This lasted for the duration of the walk, about 20 minutes or so. We then walked back to the house. E encouraged me to smoke marijuana with him. I was reluctant at first because I wanted to be a purist and understand how mushrooms affect me alone, but E said the marijuana would ease my experience and complement the shrooms. I wanted to relax myself so I agreed to and I had about 4 hits from his pipe. This activated the first “shroom-y” wave for myself, while I enjoyed the light marijuana high. We were in K’s basement watching music videos together at this time. I felt very chatty and fun; I was dancing around a little and talking about how I’d like to take shrooms at a live music performance. We all experienced dry mouth and were drinking water ravenously. This bubbly wave lasted 20 minutes… I started to look around the room and notice that the walls were somehow contracting and breathing. My friends’ faces looked different to me because I could notice the wrinkles on them and really focus on how their skin was holding in their fatty tissues inside. My ears were heating and my body felt increasingly tingly, to the point of being uncomfortable. This creeping weirdness I was not used to grew into a catastrophical peak.
9:40 – Entering madness
My vision is now completely altered. All the edges and lines have softened into colourful paint strokes, and nothing is staying still. The whole room – the whole *world* was moving, and anywhere I focused my attention had little microcosmic moving patterns, repeating themselves. My body was clenching and tensing, and I felt slightly nauseated.
At this point I let my friends know that I was teetering into a bad trip. I felt really bad for E and K because they had both taken a lot more shrooms than I had (when I asked them what dosage they took they told me they just ate and never counted). We were all peaking at the same time, and K assured me that “shrooms are never usually like this”. I said that I didn’t like shrooms, that I wouldn’t do them again, and I told B to never try shrooms. I was breathing very deeply in an effort to calm myself down, and B tried playing relaxing music for us. The three of us would let out little sighs/groans every so often, and it was clear that we were all working our way through some intensity. I distinctly remember watching our cups of water which were themed after the cartoon show Adventure Time. The characters on them were smiling at me and dancing wildly. I knew then that for the dosage I had taken, I was feeling the full effects of the mushrooms. B offered to take us into her car for a drive around but E insisted that he was in no position to get into a car. He told me he was ready to throw up so he left the room. When he came back he said he now felt a lot better after leaving the room and didn’t have to vomit. K and E encouraged me to move around but I just felt like my body was locked into a horrific experience. Finally I decided to move down onto the floor into child’s pose (I regularly practice yoga), and suddenly I felt a release. I practiced more stretching and asanas, and it was then I realized I needed to move about to release the negativity building inside of myself. Everyone was happy I felt better as they felt guilty for my first time using shrooms.
I realized I needed to move about to release the negativity building inside of myself. Everyone was happy I felt better as they felt guilty for my first time using shrooms.
We all agreed that the room we were in felt negative and claustrophobic so we were ready for the car ride courtesy of B.
10:15 – Euphoria
I was now over my culture shock and getting used to the crazy magical world the mushrooms had transported me to. Seeing that it was Saturday night, B took us on a nightlife tour of the downtown bar areas flooded with people. It was very shocking to see so many people out together and very entertaining to drive past the neon light signs. We were playing happy music in the car and laughing together. I thought to myself, shrooms CAN be fun! It felt like B was driving very fast but she probably wasn’t. After seeing the downtown areas and skyline views, E said he was becoming exhausted so we drove back to K’s to drop her home, and B took us back to E’s place. We kept thanking B over and over for being our trip sitter. It felt like she had saved our lives! E donated some marijuana to her as a gift. E and I smoked more marijuana before leaving her car.
12:00 – Coming down
Coming down from shrooms felt very peaceful and warm. E was still very high, so I let him relax on the couch while I did yoga on the floor. We had long conversations until about 3:00 am about the structures of the world, how we could solve the world’s problems by eliminating money and dismantling capitalism. Once we made it to bed my body felt very exhausted and worn (especially the next morning). Shrooms felt like a very harsh substance compared to weed.
Even though I tripped into a very uncomfortable place, where I said I would never do shrooms again, I think that I would do it again maybe in a year. Entering that world put my thoughts into another perspective and challenged me. I came out of it feeling very elated and happy that I chose to do it. I think the next time I should trip I will try to appreciate the hallucinations around me and switch up my environment so that I don’t feel stuck.
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