Cacti - T. pachanoi & Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: JeevesMan. "The Naked Truth of Inner Light: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi & Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp104625)". Erowid.org. May 31, 2018. erowid.org/exp/104625
The Naked Truth of Inner Light: Psilocybe cubensis (psilocybin mushrooms) and Echinopsis pachanoi (San Pedro cactus)
San Pedro tea made from 44” cuttings of Echinopsis pachanoi | T+0:00
1 eighth dried Psilocybe cubensis | T+0:45
I've been familiar San Pedro for some time, since experimenting immediately after my very first psychedelic experience. Because it is such a mild experience in the dosages I was trying before learning to make ingestion more bearable, I had shelved it for some time and hadn't thought of returning to it until recently. I had ordered some in the interest of a low-intensity spiritual ceremony after a good while of not tripping. I soon after learned that I would have mushrooms available to me, and it occurred to me that the distinct qualities of the San Pedro experience, what I refer to as 'the love trip,' would probably mate superbly with the qualities of a higher-intensity psychedelic experience like that of mushrooms. However, this experience was my first experience with psilocybin
this experience was my first experience with psilocybin
. While I believe I've made some good guesses from research and intuition about what to attribute to the mushrooms and to the San Pedro, I can't speak as certainly as if I'd had prior experience with psilocybin alone.
Prior to ingesting, I lit a candle and some incense and said a few words, including the verbal setting of an intention and respects to the plant teachers. After struggling with the tea (even made to reduce nausea, it's still some nasty, nasty stuff) and eating the mushrooms, I set out for a walk around my town, but I decided very soon after that I wanted to come back to get something and then, once I got closer to home, that it was kind of an ugly and unpleasantly chilly day to trip outside and that my candle and incense were way cooler, so I returned to the candle and waited for the subtle effects I was beginning to feel to become stronger.
At about T+2:00, I began to feel a strong bodily sensation of pleasant, blissful warmth through my body, similar to passing into sleep, and found myself suddenly in very psychedelic territory. I began to write immediately:
What is it in HUMAN to seek beauty?
That natal craving for
of the luminous-body
Center Where am I?
Who are you?
Take me up on
on the wind,
because I loathe
all this still decay
But let's return to the question.
Why do I so love
But let's get more direct, shall we?
WHY DO I LOVE
And now, right to the point:
Who could ever
How could you hear them?
Why would you want to?
This is no examiner's table. This is not one of your Cultures out there you learn to have as a substance to bring the people (your people) closer.
This ( Haha!
Ha! Ha!) is
The intensity of color and the candle flame grew. Reds and purples in particular were quite powerful. My mind was moving rapidly and fluidly through a steam of thought and imagination. Throughout the experience, the candle, which had remained lit since initially beginning my ceremony, assumed an increasingly significant role as a very living symbol both of the entire experience itself and the universal inner light of humanity.
The light to see
is the light to be
I pondered the mysterious spiritual practices of the tribes of the Americas and drew a horned, large-eyed mask. The images of tribal masks were very vivid in my mind.
Flame bright and chasm deep, how have we come to be so
What IS that?
Is it perhaps the sin of gluttony at the cost of us down-and-dirty oil burners?
But there is more than vile spit for them up top.
(Oh, is that where they are?)
There is a people who's totally forgotten darkness,
firelight in the looming woods,
hunter-gatherer-flames in the night,
SPEAK TO ME
I'll be a virgin if I can
During and after this initial block of time I spent writing, I felt a very meditative sort of tranquility as I watched my candle. Soon, important people came into my mind, and I began making a lot of phone calls. (I definitely wouldn't recommend this to everyone, but pretty much everyone in my life knows that I take psychedelics very seriously, so I didn't have many consequences, and in fact there were many important things I'm glad to have said.) I had at this point impulsively removed my necklace and placed it around the candle, and the feeling of shedding a fragment of an artificial identity led me to remove all my clothes, my hairband, and any internal constructs used to represent me rather than my naked self.
After finishing a run through alt-j's two albums, at about T+3:30, I put on Christopher Tin's The Drop That Contained The Sea, which took me on quite an epic ride through the origins of warfare and peace. Upon taking my focus off of the candle, I found that my bedroom by candlelight, with its glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling (which came with the house) and on the wall (which I added, because can you have too many?), makes for a beautiful, cavelight-esque, hallucinogenic planetarium. I spent some time doing some tribal-style dancing around the room and making a lot of expressive body gestures very comfortably and naturally.
Through the course of this, I discovered a large projection of my shadow cast by the candle behind me up onto the ceiling, and I suddenly found myself with the exhilarating power of moving this enormous figure up in the stars. Soon after this feeling of power came a curious discontentment, and then I looked back at the candle and felt flooded by the realization of the precise illusion of Plato's Cave. I saw how the light shone on me and into my perception (not only the visible light, but also the universal inner light of humanity) and casts a shadow of me, which I see as form, and this causes me to see the particular qualities of my individual self (ego) in my concept of the good and divine, which captures my attention while the light shines behind me, casting the illusion.
light in dark, shadow-caster,
who is who is GOD
looks just like me!
Light shine, warm 'round
the shadow shoulders
Light shine, light love,
let live and let love
Kill another for his shadows?
This came toward the climactic end of The Drop That Contained The Sea (T+4:30), and, the moment that the last track had finished, I walked myself straight outside my bedroom, very ready to settle into a more relaxed part of the experience, and chatted with my roommates for a while about what had been going on. From there on, color and lucidity remained very vivid, and I continued to feel very peaceful overall. I finished the trip out by smoking hookah and then eating Chinese food with a friend and discussing my thoughts on the experience and the role of psychedelics in spirituality as I came down for a total time of about T+8:00
I give the whole experience an A+ and intend to take this mixture very frequently. I think one of the most interesting parts of psychedelic inquiry is characterizing the individual types of psychedelic experiences. After analysis of this trip and previous trips with San Pedro, I would characterize the San Pedro cactus as the cactus of inner light and Psilocybe cubensis as the mushroom of naked truth.
A powerfully reflective and refreshing experience.
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