DOSE:

9 buttons

oral

Peyote

(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

83 kg

If you want to skip the setup story and background info I have separated it using this
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I stepped out of my car and approached the church. I was greeted by two smiling rabbis, two dogs, two horses, a handshake from the sister in the sunhat and a 'Welcome, brother!' from the long haired holy man. My pilgrimage brought me to a peyote church located in southeast Arizona where the only thing higher than the mountains is the level of love projecting from this sacred place. I was given a tour of the church facilities, first was the three main Spirit Walk locations which consists of a canopy, fire pit, reclining camp chair, and small table. Next I visited the green house where the peyote cacti were growing and I recieved a brief education in its history, growing method, and the current state of the plant (conservation status G3- at risk of extinction). Next I was given a tour of the ceramic studio where the church leaders have made pottery for 60+ years. I later learned that their pottery was in the Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian collection. Finally I was inside the church and rather than having religious dogmatic symbols this church was a vegan grandmother's house with a library any psychonaut would envy. Most of the hanging art was produced by the church's founder or by the family now running the church, save for a few excuisite pieces like the signed Alex Grey 'Tranquility' piece hanging in the room I stayed in. After my tour I had great conversations with both of the Rabbis about a wide range of topics and any lingering concerns or doubts I had about this experience were thwarted. I was in the right place with the right people.

The following day I loaded up on water and more conversation with my hosts. At 2pm it was time for me to begin my Spirit Walk so I collected my supplies, gave thanks to my Rabbis and scampered off to my spirit walk location. My supplies were: my mason jar of the peyote tea sacrament, my sleeping bag, my journal, a knock off Bob Marley 'one love' hat and sunglasses worn exclusively by 90-year-olds and the blind (dilated eyes and Arizona sun are water and oil).

The rule of thumb at the church is at least 20 minutes between sips because the nauseating effects take a while to come on so if you drink the tea quickly you will see that tea all over the desert floor in an hour or two. My solution was to place a large stick between rocks in the fire pit and mark the edge of the stick's shadow with a stone every time I took a sip so I had a rough estimate of the time between sips; this worked well until the wind reminded me that it exists.

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These are direct quotes from my journal:

Sip 1- Injested. Not bad.
Sip 2- Bitter. Smell and aftertaste are pleasant. Lemon juice is delicious. I want to drink this stuff quicker.

Nothing visual so far, body feels relaxed and accepting.

Sip 3- Slight body tingle when I'm still. Very clear headed. Thoughts and memories are abundant and concise. Taste is getting easier to deal with. Mmmmm lemon.

Sip 4- Lathargic. Getting up to place the stone on the edge of the shadow felt similar to the effects of indica. I don't think I'm waiting 20 minutes between sips but I have no stomach pains. Not even discomfort.

Stick got blown down and stomach hurts. I've waited about 2/3x the length of time between sips. Thinking about food.

Sip 5- Stomach pain and nausea died down. Lethargy is increasing, almost over 9000.

Every time my body moves it signals to my brain 'nah'.

2/5 of the tea injested. Lethargic, curious, anxious but anticipative not worried. I want hamburgers or mexican food.

Sip 6- The medicine is getting harder to swallow. Rectal enema next time. Sun went down.

Sip 7- The game is over. It is now a chore. Best chore ever but a chore none the less.

Sip 8- Gag. Chore. What if I declined the lemon? The lemon is going to be the only thing to keep me from expelling my stomach contents... Or its going to make the puking taste worse. Save me lemon. Be a good fruit.

Fire has been lit.

Sip 9- Shake jar, remove lid, count to 7, get that liquid in my belly. Lemontime. The burning wood is mesquite and it's making me want BBQ. Fucking fasting man. Holds up a mirror to my addictions.

My stomach is uncomfortable and I'm too nauseous to drink any more. A little over 1/3 of the jar remaining.

[/end journal entries]

At this point I stopped drinking. The peyote tea contained 15 crushed up peyote caps so I figured I got a dosage between 9 and 10 caps. Sip 1-6 was spent reclined in my chair getting up once or twice between sips and it took about 4 hours. Sip 7-9 took at least 2 hours and required a bit of convincing to continue. Once the sky was getting dark I layed down on my back gazing at the moonlight reflecting off Mt. Turnbull. This was the beginning of the real peyote experience. The previous 6-7 hours were insightful and somewhat eventful but those moments pail in comparison to the experience that comes after reaching the peyote place.

Before I go into the details about what happened in the peyote place I need to quote my journal and thoughts from my spirit walk and also explain my thoughts on what peyote is now that I'm entirely sober.

'Peyote is kind, funny, subtle, extensive, educational, therapeutic, incapable of malice, thoughtful, thought-full, and nearing extinction.'
'Peyote is mother earth's MDMA'
'Peyote is so much more mental than I expected. I knew it would be spiritual and it surpassed that expectation too but I had no idea that it would be so involved with my thought process and thinking abilities.'
'The entertainment I expected was visual patterns or at least something visual in my third eye but my vision is unaffected. Instead the entertainment has come from the incalculable number and scale of ideas I have generated, the delivery of those ideas and the reaction I formed the thoughts. Peyote has the attitude of a trickster or a court jester who showed me that every thought can be seen in an objective or positive light. Every idea can be endlessly pursued and even if the original idea is flawed it can evolve into a piece of brilliance. Every memory can be experienced objectively, with humor, and with empathy for everyone involved. Every feeling is a combination of your prior experiences and current situation and at any time you can choose to bask in this sacred fact.'

Peyote completely diminishes one's comprehension of linear time. You'll notice my time estimations seemed vague, that's because I couldn't really tell the difference between 15 minutes and an hour. Luckily I had the moon to remind me but even with the moon I could only tell time by guessing the hour.

The best teacher is a teacher who makes the student believe that they taught themselves. This is why I call peyote subtle, a trickerster, and a teacher. If I had not been warned by one of the Rabbis about the subtlety of it I might have thought that peyote didn't work because I had no hallucinations which is what I expected and wanted. But she did inform me of the subtlety and once I recognized that I was in the peyote place I embraced it and the stronger I embraced it the less subtle it became. I felt as though I was riding a raft of consciousness down a river and the water was being supplied by my stream of conscious right brain dominated thoughts. At any point in the ride I could stop the stream of thoughts, expand on an idea I had 30 minutes ago, jump back to the thought I had been working on 4 hours ago, and then hop back into the river of thoughts, feelings, and memories until I formed an idea worth expanding again. Once the idea was expanded, back into the river.

Angry memories that came up made me angry at first (thanks to my neural pathways) but I was able to cut the anger off and actually experience the memory from my adversary's point of view. It was a level of empathy I have never attempted to reach.

Sad/depressed thoughts that arose were met with immediate humor and a total dissection of why the thought is completely untrue or it's self inflicted. One vivid example of this is I had the thought 'I'm so lonely'. The thought repeated a couple of times and by the third time it was said in a (potentially racist) Asian voice so I heard 'I'm so ronery. Rook how ronery FGMH is. Sooo ronery.' I immediately burst out laughing of course and realized that not only was it just a thought that has no usefulness but it's also my responsibility to make sure I'm not lonely. No one besides my self is forcing me to not make friends. No one besides my self is keeping me from connecting with my old friends. I can call any family member or friend any time I want and talk but I choose not to most of the time because of a list of bad excuses and laziness. Other sad thoughts included memories of dead family members but I didn't really tread in that territory which has given me the mission for my next spirit walk.

Proud and ego centered thoughts were met with 'Oh you're bad ass? What about when you used to shit your diaper or suck your thumb until 5th grade? What about all the times you actively tried to hurt people emotionally and physically because it made you feel not as bad? Really? You think most of your past behavior is something to be proud of? What about the hours you wasted watching porn? You've spent more time watching porn than some people have spent existing on this planet. You were on default thinking mode for 20 years and you've had 1 year of productive, moderately enlightened thinking and now this 1 year has made up for those? Really? Are you sure? You should probably keep working on your self because its the only thing you physically control in this universe and give up this silly idea that you're cool, which is a temperature and an idea propagated entirely by advertising and pop culture. Everything you project for others to see is 1/1,000 of who you are. You're showing people .1% of who you are and you usually try really hard to make it the best aspect of who you are and then you act like that .1% is somehow an indicator of who you are. You select thoughts carefully and censor your self to keep the good image of 'you' in other's minds. Imagine being forced to broadcast every thought you had. What then? Are you still going to be cool? Are people still going to think you're funny? And why does it matter? You might never see that human being again, you might die 2 hours after talking to them and you're going to have wasted your final moments with them playing a character, not being who you truly are. You're a fraud and you know it yet you continue with this charade. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. You've been playing this character for 21 years and It doesn't seem to have done very much for you. It's done wonderful for other's perceived idea of who you are but what the fuck has it done for you?'

Jealous thoughts were met with 'You know personal property is a joke, right? You wont take it with you when you die. Who cares if they have it, you don't have it and you're alive aren't you? Do you think certain collection of atoms make you happy? It could but that's temporary happiness until your greedy little eyes focus on something else you want to get your grubby little paws on and then the old apple of your eye becomes a pile of kitty litter. You'll never get everything you want because you desire everything.'

One of my fearful thoughts was met with a vivid almost cinematic fantasy of a channel 2 news show introduction where one of the news anchor actresses said 'This just in, we're all going to die.' And then the camera cut to the weather guy with the most shocked look on his face. He ran over to her and hit her with a folding chair, curled up in the fetal position and rocked back in forth while yelling 'I'm never going to die!'. Of course this put my fear of death in perspective and entertained me. Peyote has a fun way of teaching lessons.

Now, as we all know nothing is free. The abundance of revelations I received led me to believe that I was the peyote prince (ego again). I didn't think I could make a mistake. Around 11:30pm I put out my fire and returned to the church to eat, attempt sleep or just lie in bed and continue this beautiful experience. I came into the church through the kitchen and started grabbing munchies as if I was 10 seconds away from starvation. I ate 2 bowls of almost cooked beans with a healthy portion of hot sauce, 1 chia fruit bar, a banana, peanut butter, and a cinnamon raisin bagel. Between 11:30pm and 1:00am. I played guitar almost the entire time and had it not been for what happened next I would not have had one single negative word to say about this experience.

First I went to the bathroom and diarrhea'd out all my peyote tea. Cool. That was liquid anyway, no biggie. I returned to my room and wrote in my journal 'It came in sweet and left like lava, the rear end razor blades'. About 5 minutes goes by and then I get the feeling. The feeling where throwing up is inevitable, find something with the ability to catch liquid in 10 seconds because you're going to mouth poop.

I spent 2am to 5am on the toilet with my head in the garbage can throwing up until I dry heaved for 15 minutes. Not to mention every 15 minutes I shit out something that felt like glass, looked like a mcdonalds advertising campaign and made me sick like a coca cola advertising campaign. I will try my best to never make that mistake again and I hope you never go through that.

I only included the lessons and things I felt were important for others to know about this entheogen. The bulk of my spirit walk was forming artistic ideas, developing projects, analyzing habits and judging which were beneficial and which were detrimental.

I encourage everyone who has a strong desire to attain their highest level of consciousness to adopt peyote into their religious practice as I have. I love you, we are the same you and I, it's only our inner monologue and the inner monologue of others that convinces us we are separate.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 105886
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Feb 20, 2018	Views: 4,214
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Peyote (42) : General (1), Alone (16)