DOSE:

10 g

oral

Mushrooms

BODY WEIGHT:

155 lb

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
Hallucinogenic Mushroom Trip With Friends

*names have been changed*

I took the mushrooms yesterday crushed and sprinkled on a peanut butter sandwich, organic of course. I could hardly taste the mushrooms at all. The only other drug I had consumed yesterday was caffeine - in coffee form. My four comrades and I took the bus to Tilden Park, about a thirty minute ride from UC Berkeley. That is when I completely disregarded time for the rest of the day. From then on, my only point of reference was the sun.

The weather was desirable. It is the rainy season so everything was damp and muddy, but today the sun was shining and there were pleasant white clouds hovering in the sky. We began our adventure down a path through the valley of the forest. We explored small pathways off the main trail, never drifting too far from our main path. We found a ledge overlooking a ravine with flowing water.

This is when the journey started to shift. The clouds began to sparkle and move faster than usual, but nonetheless organic. The trees began to look more vivid and inviting. Most of all, I began to feel the spirit of each living being in the forest. Each tree was more comforting than the next. I felt like I was on my way home.

My feet began to feel heavy as my comrades and I discussed the benefits of continuing on in the forest versus climbing a small hill to look out at the treetops. We decided on the latter. The climb up the hill took longer than expected. Each step was harder than the next as I reminded myself that I have no time constraint, I will get to the top when I get there. I also considered the climb as more than the means to the end - getting to the destination. I need to appreciate the labor of the trek.

When we arrived at the top, the view was spectacular. I then began to focus on individual trees that began to ebb and flow and sparkle. The colors were so vivid and neon I felt as though I could see each intricate detail of each tree entangled in the next. We all began to laugh and sigh, relieved that we were all there together sharing this beautiful reality. We tangled ourselves in a pile together giggling, just like the trees in the valley. A ladybug landed on my hand and I found myself gaping at its beauty. It crawled over my translucent hands and took flight. I felt a slight loss to see it go. As I continued to observe my hands, I realized my arms were glittering in the sunlight. Each blonde hair had turned white gold.

I felt as though it was my time to leave the group and explore on my own all of a sudden. I felt a path forming for me on the hill. I took off my shoes so I could feel the wet earth under my feet and rolled up my long pants. I left all of my belongings on the hill with my friends, not worrying about when I would come back. A strange spiky flower captured my attention and I sat down in awe. When I felt I sufficiently appreciated the flower’s beauty, I went on my way. As I began pushing back trees and bushes to follow my path, I felt a sense of soft urgency. I knew I had a path to follow, but I also knew that I had so much time to get there.

I explored detours off my path and found the trees wanted me there. They wanted me to discover them and see them for how they really should be. Each tree radiated happiness for me to touch them and stroke the moss growing on their trunks. I sang to the trees and to myself and found the forest echoed back my voice. “It feels like we only go backwards, baby.”

I found a large red mushroom so bright it projected its redness from yards away. I touched the slimy exterior and found myself needing to show it to my friends back on the hill. I carried it with me as I trekked back to the hill, all the while exploring each nook like lights leading me away from the trail briefly.

Once I showed my friends, I felt safe knowing they were still there and I had the courage to venture even further up the hill. I began this trek through a large field. The wet grass felt comforting on my bare feet as I padded up the hill. The path led me through a small forest with the treetops obscuring the sun. The greens, reds, oranges, and yellows were so extremely vivid within the shade of the trees. I looked at each creature that caught my attention. The moss called to me to stroke it and the leaves breathed and danced in a constant fluid motion as if they were telling me that they are alive and happy. The leaves under my feet felt spiky in one moment as a reminder that I must continue on my path up the hill.

The other side of the forest opened to a clearing with wet grass replacing the soft mud under my feet. I followed the tree line observing a fence in the distance. I began thinking about the significance of fences. The reason they are built is to keep someone in, and someone out. Humans decide that one is more fit to occupy a land than others, but who gets to make that decision. Why is this ground mine, and that ground yours? Land does not belong to anyONE, it belongs to the land. It belongs to the trees and grass that have their roots firmly in the soil.

My breath was more and more labored as the walk turned into a hike, and the hike turned into a run. I felt the top of the hill was calling me more than ever. The sun was going down and I needed to be at the top. I started running and jumping up the hill, all the while getting steeper and steeper. I found the tree at the top that I needed to be under. I was finally here. In that moment, I felt exactly where I should be. I felt home.

As I looked back at the forest, I found I could see the entire San Francisco Bay. I saw the bridges glinting and sparkling in the sunset. The sun cast a white-yellow glow on the bay between the two bridges.The water was transformed into molten silver. Each individual boat on the bay was a small fish basking in the sunset. As I looked around at the rolling hills with cows happily grazing and the forest below me that housed my comrades in this journey, I felt tears flowing down my cheeks. This world is so beautiful. The natural and the man made flowed into each other as the bridges sprouted from the treetops and the water. Beautiful satin brown and purple hawks soared over me calling to each other and to me.

I wanted to stay forever. I reminded myself that I could, if I wanted to. I could stay in this one spot as long as I wanted. I let myself remain mesmerized and completely silent except for my steady breathing until the sun went down. My pulse was synchronized with the pulse of the forest as we melded into one being. I thought about my life and about the spirit of the world around me. I thought about fences keeping people out and I thought about time and space. I thought about my physical body and how grateful I was to be in such a beautiful construction. Each cell works with the next to let my legs carry me up the hill. My brain lets me appreciate the beauty before me. I looked out at the forest and felt I needed to be with my friends. I needed to soak up our collective appreciation.

As I climbed down the hill and reached the clearing, I started running. I couldn't wait to be with them again. I recognized the trees as I passed them, thanking them for leading me back to my friends. I followed my path to the clearing above my friends and gazed down at them fondly. Their voices were familiar and soothing. I waved to them and they called my name happily. I melted into the pile with them hugging and appreciating them. We decided it was time to go home and I giggled as Henry slipped and slid down the hill to the path home.

We walked and laughed together considering the world and language. Henry talked about how everything around us is constructed by language. Humans have evolved through language. I voiced the frustration of language. I may say one word that means something to me, but it means something different to every other person. Each individual has her own baggage that language brings with it.

Amy talked about physical space that bodies take up in the world and how we are so small in comparison to the world. I agreed, mentioning that women often take up less space than men physically, and this is indicative of some accounts of oppression in our world. Often the woman stands in a manner to take up less space, similarly with minority races. This took my wandering mind back to the idea of property and owning land. I began to question who land belongs to. Just because I was born in this country doesn’t mean I have more of a right to be here than others. And just because others weren’t born here doesn’t mean anyone has the right to prohibit entry. Everyone in this world is sharing it, not just with other people, but with every living being on this earth.

At the end of my journey and when we were about to travel back into the “real world” I thought about the word “hallucination.” The psychedelic state I was in was not a hallucination in the sense of seeing things that weren’t physically present, but rather an altered state of perception. A familiar sense in which allowed me a glimpse into the spirit of nature. It allowed me to open my mind to love the world and the people around me. It allowed me to appreciate my own body and how fortunate I am to experience the world walking on both my legs and feeling the world with my hands. I hope to continue my appreciation and love for the world now more than ever.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 106034
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: May 19, 2021	Views: 387
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Mushrooms (39) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)