DOSE:	0.5 - 1 hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
		oral	Mushrooms	(sclerotia)
			DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

Now I write this as someone who would be the first to defend drugs, I don't think they're bad and I think you can have great experiences with them. However, I would say that I have had long term effects from using psychedelic drugs which haven't been on the whole positive. This isn't to say I'll never take them again, but there is definitely a safe and healthy way to take them and a way that'll screw your brain up.

When I was around 17 I began experimenting with psychedelics, namely LSA in the form of Hawaiian Baby Rosewood (sic) seeds, which gave me mixed trips. One however, where I forgot to scrape off the overcoating had me throwing up all night thinking I was dying. But, I never really had bad long term effects off. Nor with mushrooms, nor with anything really. Not for a while.

Then I went and took a lot of acid, not crazy amounts, but I was doing it I'd say every two three weeks or so over a period of four months. I thought it was great, I thought I felt rejuvenated after a trip, and I had all these amazing wonderful life changing experiences on it. I mean, even the little hallucinations I'd get when I wasn't on LSD or shrooms were fun, I saw them as free trips and they didn't really scare me too much.

A couple of experiences changed this for me. Firstly when I took something I thought was LSD but was in fact a research chemical, which sent my friend to hospital because he had a psychotic breakdown on it. Luckily I was more experienced and was able to keep it together, but it was really really strong stuff, and for the first time ever I felt scared on a trip in a way I hadn't before; not in a oh-shit-I'm-tripping way but in a I'm-on-the-edge-of-a-breakdown way. I took acid after that and I was fine, but the flashbacks were starting to get annoying, I was starting to get worried about the fact that straight lines never looked straight any more, or that I'd see wisps of smoke coming off things. But I was in for a little bit more than this.

After a seriously bad acid trip where I thought I had been poisoned and was dying, the first I had ever had which took me completely off guard (possibly caused by the large amount of pills I was taking around that time), I began to have emotional and somatic flashbacks. I went through, and am still in to an extent, a prolonged existential crisis. I lay in bed at night some nights feeling absolute fear at the thought of death. Faced with a false reality that I was going to die on that trip it opened up something in my mind which has stopped me from being able to fully enjoy life without the anxiety of my eventual death and non-being. Not only that, I now get flashbacks from the feeling of that trip of numbness and pains; which doesn't help since I then think it's caused by a life-threatening disease (call me paranoid).

To you this might not sound that bad, certainly I don't feel like I've gone mad, but it has caused me huge huge huge anxiety which'll come on at any point, even when I haven't felt like that for weeks. Even if I think I've made peace with death or with the trip I had. And I'll feel this tension in my chest and fear run through my very being when I do. I find it ironic psychedelics are said to help with end of life anxiety.

Moving on, this went on for some months, also accompanied by visual flashbacks, which started to get more intense and worrying, I'll still see images of things when I close my eyes or static and flashes of light though more occasionally nowadays. A couple of months later, after the trip, I took truffles with some friends. Now, I think it was just that I hadn't eaten, but my blood sugar or something must have dropped while I was on them and I almost fainted. While the trip wasn't terrible overall, I didn't have the best time and weirdly I felt like I was on acid not shrooms when I was on them; I don't know whether it was just the truffles or a flashback of some kind, I haven't taken mushrooms since so I don't know.

Funnily enough, taking half a tab of acid and some DMT one night while coming down off pills actually helped the death anxiety a bit and I have felt somewhat better since the DMT although I took half a tab of acid again the other week, the trip went fine though, and feel a little more panicky and anxious since then- but it's also been a heavy couple of weeks with other drug use as well. The thing is, that I'll still get visual flashbacks quite a lot and the other ones some of the time and it's definitely triggered something in me. Clearly taking acid has triggered something, or at least just ridiculously long existential crisis and well as feelings of disassociation sometimes.

I just want to warn people through my own experience that you should be careful with these drugs. I feel like I'm getting a bit better even if I've had a bit of dip recently, and I hope this report might help others in not having the same experience as me or at least knowing that they're not the only ones this is happening to.

Exp Year: 2012-2014	ExpID: 106359
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: May 10, 2021	Views: 509
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LSD (2) : Unknown Context (20), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Post Trip Problems (8), Retrospective / Summary (11)