DOSE:		smoked	DMT	(freebase)
		smoked	Banisteriopsis caapi	(dried)
		smoked	Lotus/Lily - Nymphaea nouchali var caerulea	(dried)
		smoked	Calea zacatechichi	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

8.5 st

Mindset: Relaxed. I’d had a good day sitting in the garden, potting up my plants and sowing new seeds, followed by a BBQ and a nap in the sun.

Early evening, I’d spent some time listening to new albums of artists I like and had thought long and hard about why I was going to be journeying that evening. I’d thought about various reasons but felt it would be better to narrow these down to a single, direct wish: I wanted to feel more confident.

Sitter: My boyfriend (W)

Previous DMT experience: freebase only - 2 sub-breakthroughs, 2 breakthroughs

22:30 - Dose 1: changa (100mg freebase, 100mg 10x caapi, 50mg blue lotus, 50mg calea) - 45mg via hash pipe

This was the first time I’d tried changa. I took several hits – smoke was extremely harsh, possibly due to the lighter torching the changa too much. Felt similar to being heavily stoned but with a more light feeling than body load. Room slightly vibrated, no noticeable changes in colour or texture. Slight uneasiness, although I couldn’t understand why. However, it's not abnormal for me to feel very paranoid while smoking cannabis, which is why I have stopped.

22:55 - Dose 2 (+00:25): changa (100mg freebase, 100mg 10x caapi, 50mg blue lotus, 50mg calea ) - 116mg via hash pipe

I was hoping to breakthrough but I was curious to see the changes that would take place at each hit before launching. In hindsight, I wish I'd spaced the hits out a bit more and paid more attention to what was going on in the room, but I seemed transfixed to the pipe and smoke.

By perhaps the 4th or 5th hit, I was struggling to see the pipe or understand the concept of smoking. It felt like I was seeing through my boyfriend’s hand and the pipe stem. As I inhaled, I remembered that this was happening because I was taking DMT, but then immediately forgot what DMT was and couldn’t remember if I’d even taken it before. The cognitive element of my brain didn’t seem to be able to function.

Watching the smoke was fascinating and at one point, it changed to a beautiful lime green colour and looked completely magical – I don’t remember seeing anything beside the pipe and W’s hand – the rest of the background had just melted into darkness.

The hairs on W’s hand looked extremely pronounced and unusual and I recall staring at them for some time – they were almost a landscape and W’s hand its own ecosystem. Moving my lips was a struggle as felt as though they didn’t belong to me and I’m not sure I could have spoken if I’d tried (well, perhaps but I doubt any of it would have made sense and would have instead been gibberish).

The rest of the trip is very hazy – I remember everything in the room seemed to move from 2D to 3D and maybe even 4D (similar to my first sub-breakthrough dose which had been a bit uncomfortable). I’m not sure what happened for the next few minutes as my first memory after that was asking W what had just been happening as I was suddenly back, even though I’d not left the room. The whole thing felt very amnesic but pleasant all the same.

23: 45 - Dose 3 (+01:00): 30mg freebase via lightbulb pipe

Took first hit and managed to fight through the pain barrier and inhale more than usual and hold in for 15 seconds or so, room very quickly began to vibrate. Pipe was already beginning to dissolve by the time I started inhaling my second hit and then the room kind of fell away in front of me.

I suddenly heard this really loud and quite unpleasant sound – a bit like a medium to high pitched machine drone in my right ear, coming from where W was sitting beside me. I thought I saw out the corner of my eye W shaking the lighter furiously so thought that the lighter had broken and was giving out this unusually loud and unsettling noise. However, I knew I was just about to breakthrough and so felt a touch frustrated and wished he’d stop as there was no way I needed another hit and don’t think I could have had one if I’d wanted to.

Again, my eyes must have closed involuntarily and then I was gone. I don’t remember seeing any chrysanthemum this time but the first thing I really recall is being in this space that was predominantly dark but made up of a “web” or lattice type structure of bright orange outlines containing other shapes that were in blues and purples and…weren’t they watching me? The lattice was not still but moved rather slowly and came closer to me – it seemed to be comprised or a number of circles connected to shapes similar to that of the infinity symbol.

I felt a little scared and wondered if I was going to be put to judgement, but told myself to relax and tried to project a feeling of love. The next thing I remember was being confronted by this enormous entity. Had this lattice structure been the gateway and the shapes been the entity’s minions, eyes, communication network? I had no time to think.

The entity completely obscured my field of vision. I was practically engulfed by it. Now this is going to be even more difficult to explain because the complexity of such a thing could not have even be remotely imagined in my conscious thought in this life, nor had I ever encountered anything of this stature or complexity in any of my dreams. However, I will try to explain as best I can with words.

The front of the entity had a “trunk” and I immediately thought it looked similar to Ganesha, but this was not made up of one element/material, it was every possible colour imaginable and constantly pouring forth in a strange geometry (but predominantly made up of curves rather than angles), almost as if it was made of a semi-solid material.

On either side of the “trunk” were other abstract shapes/geometry, constantly moving, oscillating, opening up and closing. Some of the more circular parts of this entity seemed to be covered with mucous membranes which were semi transparent and underneath was a liquid in various bright colours. It seemed to me that these may have been eyes or acted as some kind of sensory input, but they were never still. The whole thing seemed to have slight slithering qualities.

I was in a state of shock – this thing felt so immensely powerful and I was completely in its awe. It did not speak, at least not with any words, but I felt that it wanted me to understand just how invincible and all-seeing, all-hearing it was. It was neither friendly nor ominous – more like it would be fair but firm and that it was to be respected above all else and as if it was giving me a gentle warning not to mess about with this substance. I was nothing and it was everything.

I realised I probably hadn’t breathed for ages and I wondered if I was now dead and had met my maker. There wasn't really any panic. I tried to breathe but couldn’t seem to feel my chest, lungs, or anything else, but this thought was fleeting as I was too engrossed in this vision before me.

Worried that I was going to make this entity angry with me (and it was definitely not something to be messed with), I struggled to remember why I came. I suddenly in my mind blurted out in a slight panic “Confidence! I’d like to be more confident” which almost sounded a bit petty! The entity continued to morph, constantly morphing, snaking, enveloping me, “looking” at me, and I tried to understand what I was seeing – “are you showing me confidence?” I wondered. I was still having a lot of difficulty getting the left hand side of my brain to work properly but thought perhaps it was slightly angry or disappointed that I’d had more DMT following the changa. Did it think I was greedy? Did it think I was using the substance foolishly for fun? Was I never to do that under any circumstances? Had I not taken the changa before, would it have still presented itself? The answers did not appear to me.

After this encounter which felt as though it had gone on for much longer than my previous trips, everything gradually disappeared. I sat there staring at the insides of my eyelids and then slowly opened my eyes. I could see the room, although it still had “acid” type qualities. I was still in complete shock. I slowly looked over to W who was looking back at me, and then stared at the coffee table. What had just happened? I felt as though all my beliefs about there being nothing beyond death had been completely false. I stared at the coffee table in silence for around 5 minutes before I was finally able to speak.

I could not comprehend for one moment that this may have been a hallucination caused by my brain. The entity had been so unbelievably complex, even if this hadn’t been a crossing to another realm or dimension, the fact that my human brain had conceived of such a thing was just so incredulous. In fact, I wasn’t sure what was more incredulous – the crossing over to another plane, or the fact that my brain created this. I asked W whether the lighter had broken but he said it hadn’t made any noise, he hadn’t shaken it and was working just fine, but by the time he tried to give me my third hit, I was gone.

As with all DMT trips, no words can do this justice, but this was far more profound and incredible than anything I’ve experienced before. I will be going back and I look forward to whatever the experience brings, but I sense that it’s prudent to wait a while until I can integrate this experience as best I can. I'm immensely grateful.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 106398
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Oct 19, 2016	Views: 2,196
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
DMT (18) : Entities / Beings (37), Guides / Sitters (39), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)