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Time And Time Again
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
by David S
Citation:   David S. "Time And Time Again: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp107124)". Erowid.org. Apr 17, 2018. erowid.org/exp/107124

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
4.5 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (dried)
  T+ 1:15 3 hits smoked Cannabis  

BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb


The following are preliminary studies done in the mid 1960s. Investigating the origins of human instincts and retrieval of ancestral memory using O-phosphoryl-4-hydroxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine.
Using myself as a subject.

Unknown to me at this time a branch of our government had been working with this same molecule for ten years in remote viewing and mind control experiments. One such operation now known to most Americans through the Freedom Of Information Act as MK-ULTRA and of course other operations that are still highly classified.

Chapter One
THAT ONE STEP BEYOND

It was February 1961, and as a young boy of ten, I never missed the television show 'ONE STEP BEYOND'; a half hour show about true and unexplained stories of the paranormal kind. Scared the shit out of me every time! CREEPY! Unlike Twilight Zone these where true documented cases!

Even at the age of ten I was already piecing together that all these paranormal events such as precognitive experiences, knowing something before it happens, always followed some kind of head trauma be it high fever, bump on the head, brain tumor etc...and remembering my mother commenting on just that. She was heavily into anthropology at that time and wondered if this ESP, sixth sense, was some kind of survival mechanism that we once possessed in our evolutionary make up that had long ago been discarded due to the development of language as a way to communicate or the ability was lost due to something as simple as a change in our diet. I was only ten at the time but I kind of knew exactly what she meant!

I always remembered that unexpected statement from my mother back in 1961. It's funny how someone can say a sentence off the top of their head and without ever realizing it end up changing, in the most profound ways, the lives of more than 200,000 people many years down the line.


In one episode on a Tuesday night in February of 1961 there was no story line. Instead the host of the show took the whole staff down to Mexico to visit a Shaman who could see visions and events taking place at a distant location (remote viewing) under the influence of a yet to be identified mushroom. Remote viewing - ability to perceive distant places, persons, and actions that are not within the range of the 5 senses. I was totally amazed when accompanying psychiatrists put this man and the host of the show John, who also participated as a test subject, through a myriad of tests. Wow! ESP abilities without head traumas! As most children of the 1950s I aspired to grow up to be an astronaut or a professional ball player that Tuesday night at the age of ten - and I remember this vividly - I made it one of my life's goal to identify this mushroom, find it and experiment with it myself one day.


Eight years later (1969) and now nineteen years of age I had been working with psychoactive psilocybin mushrooms since 1967 having obtained some samples from a friend at Brandeis University.

The first two years of experimentation was establishing a dosage. There wasn't much information out there on this mushroom on how much to take.
The first two years of experimentation was establishing a dosage. There wasn't much information out there on this mushroom on how much to take.
It was first introduced to the western world only ten years prior through an article in the May 13th 1957 issue of Life magazine however not much more information came out after that. I did discover that it had a high tolerance build up so experimentation was limited to once every 6 weeks.

I started out with only one dried gram of cubensis mushroom and progressed up one half gram every session. I'm glad I went this route - it gave me the opportunity to adjust slowly. As anyone who has taken the journey can attest - it can be a wild ride! At four grams plus I began to have profound effects. Effects lasted 7 hours. There are no words that can describe the experience...beyond profound...amazing...life changing...spiritual! I feel sorry for all the people who in their long journey through life on this planet can't find 7 hours to see for themselves. (It was many years later when I found that the standard dosage taken by shaman was 5 to 6 dried grams of cubensis equivalent. The counter culture at this time were also using this as a hallucinogen however out on the street the standard dosage was only two grams ... three grams and you were considered 'Tripping balls!” - Still a fairly safe dosage.)

By the end of 1969 I was up to almost five grams and beginning to have some amazing results with age regression although it wasn't the direction I initially wanted to go, I just stumbled into it. I was hoping to experience ESP type abilities similar to what I saw on that show back in 1961. I experienced no such abilities whatsoever. (So far)

However during the last few sessions I discovered that under the influence of the mushrooms and in a relaxed state I could remember, vividly, things long forgotten. Without the mushroom, like most people, I have memories as far back as being age five - and before then It gets diluted - sketchy at best - just bits and pieces – you know - you forget. Under the influence of the mushroom however I could remember everything crystal clear as it would unfold in front of me. But I could remember only as far back to some traumatic event in my life (usually just being frightened as a child) and couldn't remember much before that point. But under the effect of the mushroom that event was remembered and played out as the so-called trauma would be lifted and then I could remember things even further back in my life - to age three - age two - further back and everything in between. It was as if life's memory was a road with hills; turn around and look behind you and you see only as far back as the last hill you went over (A memory block) remove all hills and see your point of origin.

So under the influence of the mushrooms in one session, I closed my eyes, and started to remember when I was five. I would start there. This was as far back as I could remember without the mushroom. This is how the technique worked:

First – It's much easier to put oneself under a self hypnotic state if after 90 minutes of mushrooms ingestion, one smokes a little cannabis – it works – there seems to be a synergistic effect even if you're one of those people who can never be hypnotized normally.

Second - I sit or lie back and just count from 10 to 1 slowly to myself as I concentrate relaxing all the tiny muscles in my forehead, jaw and face.

Third – I have someone help me navigate from there or have a good idea prior to my session what my objectives are. (When in a relaxed state you'd be surprised how easy it is to navigate by yourself.)

As for regression - it's much easier to remember being three years old when I'm five then trying to remember being three years old when I'm twenty. So I would regress to five years old (self hypnosis plus mushroom) and remember what I remembered as a five year old. Then I could work my way backwards. It worked great! I wanted to see just how far back I could remember! Does our brain really remember and record everything that happens in our life? I've heard it said but is it true? (I learned later that it does record everything and I mean everything including and especially everything heard while you were sleeping or unconscious, when hearing is at a heighten state, which disturbingly came up later in a session when I was recalling an operation under anesthesia.....No, I didn't recall any pain.)

Being under the influence of the mushroom was more than just remembering, it was like playing a video of your life except when you press play you actually leave your time and space, jump into the scene and you ARE there! Smells - sounds - even conversations being said in another room - small little insignificant details long forgotten all came back and were played out again as they happened, It was like traveling back in time -absolutely fascinating! (I liken it to Ebenezer Scrooge's experience when he is brought back to his childhood.)


An example:

EDITED NOTES AND TAPE RECORDINGS FROM MUSHROOM SESSION: #13

AGE REGRESSION session #3

JULY 15th 1969 

Subject: David ******

(4.5 grams dry cubensis mushroom – ingested)

AGE: 20
LOCATION: Brandeis University - Relaxed clinical setting


75 minutes after ingestion – 3 inhalations of cannabis - (Counting backwards from ten to one I relax and regress to July, 1955. - I'm 5 years old.)

Time: 10:07 PM
START RECORDING:

DAVID: ' I'm in front of my house - in Massachusetts. I'm walking towards **** Street. It's a hot sunny day ... I'm wearing a blue outfit... God I remember this shirt!'

(I'm seeing this like I'm viewing a dream but as I pass under a maple tree that borders our property line to our neighbor Mrs. R*** I feel myself leave 1969 and enter my character and I'm now actually back in 1955 reliving this particular day.)

DAVID: ' It's late June. Maple tree...maple tree seeds...falling to the ground. You know the ones that spin like helicopters as they fall?'
Pause:
(I'm having difficulty talking to Jay back in 1969 who is recording this but as things unfold I get better at it. – Could never explain it!)

'I'm crossing the intersection '
' I can feel the sun, hear birds, crickets and the traffic up on **** Street. AMAZING!!'
' I can smell asphalt and tar. Kerosene road lamps are on the ground in front of the neighbor's house; they're lit and look like black cannon balls with blue flame and thick black smoke billowing out of the top.'

(The sweet smell of burning kerosene is mixing with the hot June day as they're about to finish paving the street. I'm a washed with old memories and smells of the 1950s.)

A friend, Steven, is up at **** street calling me to come to him. (Steven is my age - five. Beal street is a busy street and I shouldn't be up their however no one ever really told me why other than there was a lot of cars and I could get hurt which means nothing to a five year old.)

As I walk another 100 feet and as I approach the busy street, things go dizzy. Steven is pointing down at something. It doesn't make sense at first and it takes me a while - but then I begin to understand.)

Steven: 'Look! A dead squirrel!'

(It's head crushed by a car! My first encounter with a dead animal and my own mortality..this could be me!! I feel faint!)

“WOW! I forgot all about that!' as I pop back to 1969. 
I would find myself back in the test room, eyes opened, still under the influence of the mushrooms and less than a few seconds had passed.
“WOW! I forgot all about that!' as I pop back to 1969. 
I would find myself back in the test room, eyes opened, still under the influence of the mushrooms and less than a few seconds had passed.


With the memory block of my first encounter with a dead animal lifted old lost memories begin to flood back. I could now remember quite vividly all that happened back to age three! Two years of lost memories all come flooding back. But then... I couldn't remember being two. Why?

I would now regress back to age three and play back another suppressed memory. (Does the present psychiatric community know about this?) It would go on from their. At three; a memory of my older brother playing and roughhousing with our collie in the sunroom. (I thought our dog was trying to eat him)

With that out of the way I could remember everything back to when I was two when, regressed again to August of 1952, re-witnessed my brother having his cast and a traction pin removed from his leg at the local Hospital. My mother wanted to be in the room with my brother so they left the door to the waiting room ajar to keep an eye on me. I was playing with a picture book, sitting on the floor but I saw everything - sawing and lots of screaming!


That last mushroom session had brought me all the way back to crib memories. My mother verified this when I identified a kitchen sink that I was bathed next to and items on the wall in a house we use to live in back in 1950. (We moved out of that house in June of that year when I was three months old. She had asked me how I could possibly remember that far back.) So by using the mushroom I ultimately regressed back to three months old. Ninety days! I had trouble going back any further though - it seemed at this age every day is a traumatic event...

But then while walking to the store a few days after that last session I remembered this dream I used to have and it hit me. Wow! How could I have forgotten that? I had this dream - the very same dream every single night since I was an infant up until age six. Except on a few occasions, it was the only dream I ever had! It was such a nightly routine in my dreaming I thought everybody had this same dream when they went to sleep at night and so I never questioned it. I use to call it THE STRING DREAM. I was age six when I began asking friends why we had this String dream every night and was surprised to find they didn't. That's when I discovered other people had different dreams every night... stories - with people in them. It's funny the day I found that out I never had that String Dream again.


Anyway, I thought maybe I could bypass the last 90 days and remember my actual birth or even in-vitro memories by tuning in on that dream. Old dreams are easy to access as I discovered in an earlier session. Maybe that dream holds some secrets! I would try that on my next session with mushrooms - after all what would a newborn baby dream about? Interesting!


Recorded tapes and notes taken by Jay *****
OCTOBER 20th, 1969 – MONDAY
Subject: David ******
10:00 PM – Dose: 5 grams of dried cubensis mushrooms
Body weight: 168 lbs. - empty stomach
Age: 19
Location: Norwell, Massachusetts – domestic setting
Session #14
Regression #4
First effects felt: Twenty minutes.
Ninety minutes after ingestion: Having strong visuals.

(I close my eyes and think of any dream I may have had when I was 3 months old - slowly counting backwards from ten to one. I was getting good at this, I was under by seven).

Time: 11:35 PM (95 minutes after ingestion)
Regressed to early June 1950 (I'm three months old.)
BEGIN RECORDING:

DAVE: ' I'm in a crib...bassinet - I just woke up from that String Dream again and I'm crying.'

(The dream triggers an even earlier memory of that same dream but with much more clarity so I quickly regress again to what I guess to be three days old. I'm guessing this because when I woke up I was in a hospital setting – blurry and doubled visioned. I now remember the dream vividly.)

The String Dream (A linguistic interpretation of the abstract from a child three days old)


David:
' A clusters of strings... an infinite in number... parallel to one another ... extending in all directions... to infinity... all vibrating in step. One linear string resonates the other...a harmonic exchange, creating ... an all encompassing cosmic song.'
' I'm part of this song. The song is singing information about intangible multi-dimensional geometric shapes, densities, energy levels, equivalences – distances - each string sharing all its information with one another in a song that has no words...no beginning.' 
' I feel like I'm part of the energy strings, disembodied, without substance, without time, vibrating in perfect harmony...no space... no sensation of ... pure mathematics '
Pause:
'Pure mathematics!'
' The song is being disrupted...a variation in frequency on one of the strings.'

(A point on one of the strings has dropped to a lower pitch as for a better word.)

'Adjacent parallel strings in close proximity are also pulled down in pitch as to fill the void of disruption...now the whole song is beginning to distort and slow down.'

(As if it were audible the song grows louder as the pitch falls lower and lower with a sensation of being pulled inside out.)

SENSATION:

'Sudden feeling of being - disassociation - discomfort.
 A smell! A taste... a salty copper taste...sea water! Salty fluid permeating the nasals cavities and chest area...an increasing feeling of discomfort - and that salt water like taste... it's... like … It taste like an ancient ocean.”

SENSATION:
'Feeling of being...disconnected from the String Song...extreme discomfort in legs... (first audible sounds and tones now being heard) fluids discharging from nose and lungs - light - feeling of terror'... (The String Song crescendos in an abrupt deafening silence.) 
' It's quiet...very quiet...long time...no harmonics.
The String Song is fading... a noise...a loud noise from another place... and that taste!”

(Residual dried embryonic fluids still encrusted in parts of the posterior portions of the nasal cavities. Visual stimuli, though doubled, now coordinating with other sensory input as I am becoming self aware inside a bassinet. It's about the 3rd day after my birth and I just had that String Dream again. One eye is crusted over from my sleep. There is an urge to remove the annoyance but an inability to figure out how.)

'A loud sound from another place makes me feel uneasy. I don't understand sounds. It carries no information. Just random noise; no harmonics like...like...'

With memories of the String Song still fading I receive more and more input from my new environment. A song I once understood now fades into the obscurity of the sights and sounds of my new surroundings. My third day on this planet is just a fleeting moment drowned in a whirlwind of sensory stimuli.

' ... I'm falling asleep again and my head is laying to the right. You know at three days old there isn't much difference between dreaming and being awake.'

Remembering my birth removed my last block and I figured I had gone as far back as anyone could go when...

RECORDING:
 11:46 PM (106 minutes after ingestion)
DAVID: 'Jay! I'm having memories that are not mine!'

Long Pause.

DAVID: 'I'm having detailed memories of someone's life.' This can't be!' 
'It's long ago - are you still recording this?'
' I don't know if I like this.'
Pause.
'I feel like I'm floating through peoples lives. I can't explain it!'
'Jesus - five grams is too much mushrooms! This is very strange!'
Pause.
'I can... see hundreds of lives now...complete lives with all their memories stretched out in front of me like...like a scenic portrait – a landscape! A memory landscape!'
'Now I'm having detailed memories of someone's ...'
'This is not happening! My subconscious must be making this up!'
'I'm slowing down!' 'I'm slowing down!'
'Are you recording this?'

(Broken speech from excitement and due to an inability to translate fast enough.)

'OHHH! It's very long ago - Northern Scandinavian...Saxon I think... language...clothing.'
'I can see the whole life memory of a woman. She is distantly related to me in a way I can't explain - suffered an emotional trauma - imprinted - was passed down, and now somehow I ... this is so deja vu. '
Pause.
' Events in her life are far too detailed for my subconscious to be making this up - at this rate of speed anyway.' 
'I can remember every road she ever walked down - people she knew - her three children. These memories are not mine!'
 'Oh! Oh! One of her children!!'
Pause.
'I'm beginning to leave - oh shit!'

(I'm afraid and a bit bewildered. I had gotten use to leaving my body, sort of speak, to visit and replay my passed childhood but this was different; I was afraid I might not find my way back! However a sense of calm and wonderment washes over me as I leave 1969 and enter this woman's character and relive a moment in this women's life.)

Long Pause.

“It's cold out and I'm separating grain from the chaff by throwing it in the air and letting the wind carry the chaff away. Somehow I remember that.

(A very strong deja vu - nostalgic feeling washes over me again along with a strong feeling of adrenalin - like I get after I sneeze or when I'm suddenly frightened.)

Pause.

“I'm in a small field surrounded by woods. I know this place! Others with two wheel wooden carts drawn by horses are gathering grain. I know this place! I know this place!”
Pause.
“People are talking around me in a language I can understand... but can't translate... Strange!)
“It's morning; dew still on the ground, the sun is low and I can see my breath...we don't usually harvest in the early morning but the rains will be hear soon and...how?
Pause.
I'm beginning to feel dizzy
'The squirrel!!'
(A subconscious connection is made)
'The squirrel!!'
'Something is about to happen!'
'Oh God! I don't want to remember this.'
Pause. (Agitated)
'A runaway horse and cart … crashing out of the woods and onto the field. Others working in the field are screaming ... yelling ... yelling... there are bees buzzing the horse.'

Pause.
'Yelling seems exaggerated; it's just a runaway cart...'
Pause.
'Oh God!! My child has her foot caught in its wheel. 
''Tiala!'
' She is being spun around! Her head is hitting the ground and going under the wheel of the cart with every revolution! I'm fainting.'

(There is a quick flash of me standing on **** Street with Steven pointing at a dead squirrel; I have the sensation of some sort of genetic filing taking place; a reinforced memory of wheels and it's deadly consequences. then - trauma lifted. I begin to feel myself floating back through people's lives again...back further in time. I understand at this point I may have just experienced a psychotic episode and a split in personality however I was fascinated by what was happening and the exquisitely fine detail of it all - so I continued.)

DAVID: ' I'm going further back...It's very, very, long ago.'
'A man … lives in a mountainous region... I remember him!'
'Oh God... I remember this!'
(Having a strong feeling of a wonderful memory surfacing)

'I can feel myself leaving...I'm going to enter his character.' 
(But I don't enter his character. Everything stops.)
'I'm slowing down!'
'I'm slowing down!'
Long pause.
(In confusion my speech becomes very broken)

'I'm now listening ... seems to include some ... What is this!?'

(A ringing in my ears sounding like the after gong of a bell begins to morph into a high pitched whine like that of a cicada bug; like the twelve second buzz you hear on a hot summer's day. I pop back to the present and I open my eyes to end the session due to this unusual noise and see Jay sitting there with the tape recorder - frozen!)

Dave: 'Jay!' (No answer.)

11:59:06 (Almost midnight)
I noticed that the second hand had stopped on the clock next to me and then realized I was frozen as well. Even my visuals stopped. The only thing that had any movement in the room was the image coming into focus on the T.V. set that now seems to be on. Strange!

As two figures come into focus on the T.V. screen my first reaction is confusion. I don't know what I'm looking at. I'm wondering if they are some kind of animals maybe - skinned goats or something - just morphing mushroom hallucinations? Still I can't figure out what I'm looking at. Then, and I don't know why, I get the sudden feeling like my heart and blood pressure are being monitored. Strange! Then panic sets in. Panic so intense I can't breath...can't move. I CAN'T MOVE!?

Now I can't tell if the feeling of being immobilized is control by an external means or I'm just paralyzed from self-induced fear. I'm trying very hard to maintain an objective view here. This has never happened before.
I'm trying very hard to maintain an objective view here. This has never happened before.
I'm thinking it's just too much mushrooms that's all! Classical delusional paranoia - it must be! Just ride it out!


I now hear the high pitched sound moving higher in register now sounding more like the whine of a mosquito and then higher still - out of my hearing range altogether and replaced by words. However the words have no sound and yet seem to be coming from the eyes of the things on the television set. The information comes at me so fast I can only understand pieces.
Things on the TV: (coming in very broken)

' Shtaaaaaag beey
Shtaaaaaag be
Staaaan be ... Stannd beee ... Stannd by ... Stand by
Zeroing in ...
Coordinating... time... location... are you understanding...Contact...
 communication system...
instantaneously through interstellar distances.
Genetic material...in frozen dormant states tucked away in pieces of interplanetary debris from asteroid impacts on other worlds in distant past...arrived on your planet ... your genealogy goes back to other worlds that existed billions of years ago... DNA molecule replicating itself into creatures that existed on other ...
...original deposited genetic material still exist on some of your frozen moons...as collected samples...
... DNA...biologically terraformed this planet...some of this same DNA landed on many other planets billions of years before yours ... they are now...

(I become very uncomfortable now - mind racing. I'm fully aware at this very moment that if this is just me talking to myself in my mind then I am truly having a bona fide schizophrenic breakdown. That idea was terrifying enough – however - more terrifying was what if this information is not coming from me? - I want to stop now!)

...evolutionary brain development when... given... and dormant information... encoded in your DNA … historical information... star systems ... why...making contact at this time ...shock wave from your galactic core along...planet moving through interstellar debris ...can...gravity wave...sun will soon behave like a variable star beginning in the early part of your next century ... extreme flaring … nova type solar mass ejections .
.. your star system will also be disrupted when … the orbit .... planets...
Genetic sequencing under way ... ...avoiding social and cultural shock...
... conditioning... disclosure will then... species relocation. With technological means of determining the future - these predictions verified by EBE 3'

(At this point I become unfrozen and the second hand on the clock next to me starts to move again as Jay begins to speak. However Jay's voice sounds like a tape player slowly coming up to speed from a dead stop.)

Jay: 'AAARRRREEEE YOUUUU OK. DAVE?'

In a panic I jump up:
'What the fuck was that? Did you get that on tape? Jay! Play back the last few seconds!'

(I see Jay instead rewind to the very beginning of the tape and then press play.)

TAPE: ' I'm in a crib...bassinet - I just woke up from that String Dream again and I'm crying.' Are you O.K. Dave? What the fuck was that? Did you get that on tape? Jay! Play back the last few seconds.'
 Tape ends.

I asked: 'Is that it? Where's the rest?'
Jay answered; 'What rest?'
I said: 'The String Dream, the run away horse in the field, solar mass ejections, DNA?'
Jay (very confused): 'We just started a few seconds ago!'

(I looked at the clock and it's still 11:35PM.)

I spent the next hour relaying to Jay what wasn't recorded before I forgot it.

After that session on mushrooms I was very close to discontinuing with this experimentation. This was way out of my league. And that last part involving the TV and something about DNA and the sun...What was that? I had to consider it to be just a hallucination because I didn't understand any of it. Probably just my subconscious trying to process my last biology and science courses much like our dreams do in a non sensible way so I totally dismissed that part. However the implications of any the scenarios prier to that were all profound to say the least. Actual access to ancestral memories? Either I had lost touch with reality with too much neurochemicals, which is not good by the way, or I could have actually stumbled upon a way to tap into some kind of ancestral memory. The fact that nothing was recorded on the tape recorder at all should of told me that it was time to give it up. However I remember on occasions nodding off for two minutes and having a dream that I swear was two hours long. Does that mean I did not have that dream? What if accessing ancestral memories requires a different way of understanding time? Or what if I'm just trying to convince myself so... in denial...avoiding the possibility that I may be slipping into schizophrenia.

After weeks of indecision I decided to try one more session with the stipulation that I substantiate an event that I could not otherwise possibly know from a past generation and then verify that it happened. My grandparents had all passed away. The only way was to draw out a memory from either my mother or father's childhood and then verify it with them. Could that be done? I would try that in my next session.

Chapter Two
Memories Of My Father


The following was the night I extracted a memory from my father's childhood. (I never told him what I was doing) He had told me many stories of his past but the one that I recalled from his past he definitely never told me and I wish I never brought it up with him later when I wanted verification from him…I remember the look in his eyes when it was all coming back to him – it was spooky - how I could possibly know something that happened on a day back in 1919 that only he and his mother could possibly know...I felt like I violated his privacy. I did! To quickly ease the situation I assured him he must of told me that story at some earlier time. He replied -“I don't think so - I haven't even thought of that incident since the day that it happened!” That night was also the night I realized that my two year long journey was only just the beginning.



Exp Year: 1967-1970ExpID: 107124
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Apr 17, 2018Views: 857
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Entities / Beings (37), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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