DOSE:	3.3 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(tea)
	10 g	oral	Mimosa tenuiflora	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

90 kg

I made a decoction with 3.3 gr of Syrian Rue seeds (whole) and one with 10 gr of shredded Mimosa Hostilis. I boiled the Rue 30 minutes, filtered, new water, 30 minutes again, filtered, then put everything back on the stove to get it to reduce to about a glass. Same with the mimosa.

I drank the Rue and 15 minutes later the Mimosa. The trip really began 30 or so minutes after the Mimosa. The vivid trip lasted about 4 hours, but I still felt high for a few more. Here is a copy of the text I just wrote for psychedelicencounteringthedivine.

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I'll try to make a summary of my experience.

I always knew I was a healer. I've played with energies and magic since I was a child, I could see entities, dream-walk... But I never felt connected to the Source, it was like a hole in me. I never felt love beyond something superficial. I could heal people but it was like a 'repair', something was missing. (I was abused as a child and have been struggling with periods of depression since then). A month before the experience I went through several emotional shocks. Then I couldn't even 'repair' people anymore. I became obsessed with Ayahuasca, felt she was calling me. I took her alone, just warned a friend to call in a few hours to check up.

When the trip began, I saw dark things : cruel creatures, torture, loneliness, I was falling through darkness, I had a chain on my ankle... Yet I never felt any panic. Just my usual level of permanent fear (that suddenly seemed obvious). I began seeing the green Lady and begged her to free me, apologized for being scared, cried... I felt unclean.

There were beings around me. A male told me to throw up so I'd feel lighter and could follow the Lady. I was afraid it would hurt but I went to the bathroom anyway. I felt the fear leave my body and mind. As I was cleaning my hands and face I saw myself in the mirror and cried, said I didn't want to be just a human anymore. I went back to my cushions.

I began recording myself. I saw beautiful things, felt loved and gentleness everywhere... At first it didn't make sense, it was too raw yet gradual. She was healing me and feeding me love step by step, as much as I could handle. I spoke aloud of people I know (calling them kind and gentle), I felt my body tremble and energy vibrate in me, something moving in my brain, healing me. It sometimes felt too much, I wanted to escape, to sleep or stop it... But it kept going and it was never too much. I felt better and better. I felt unity, that I was The Source and She was me, that suffering only has power when we forget, that I remembered now, I saw her in objects of my kitchen... I felt absolute love, eternity. I kept speaking aloud off all that, as if I was trying to help my brain catch up on this new feeling.

At some point I went to the bathroom. Then I saw myself in the mirror again and said it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and that I wasn't just a human. I felt happy. I went to my bedroom and laid there with my cat. I kept trying to put everything in words. I began seeing and feeling people I know, understanding our relations, how they affected my life, I healed from betrayal and grief and anger... I spent at least an hour petting my cat and feeling as if we were mixing, not sure where my body ended. I kissed my bed and my arms and my cat and I felt completely at ease. (Also my cat was abused before I got her. She would have usually ran away after a few minutes. She acted absolutely in tune with me, purring and caressing and afterward looked completely relaxed.) At some point I sang. On the last note I felt like I had understood everything. I said it a few times and it felt wonderful.

When I began coming down I thanked Ayahuasca, thanked my parents for hurting me because suddenly it all made sense. I wouldn't be who I am without them. I thanked other people who had betrayed me, felt their love beyond the part of them who had forgotten about Love and the Source. I kept mumbling and relaxing for a moment then went to clean up everything (scattered cushions, incense etc...), reassure my friends, shower, eat... It took a few more hours to feel human again (a new, changed healed human). Then I ate and I have felt great since.

It was just a few days ago, obviously I'm not sure what the long term will be. But now I feel confident, happy, loved... I can't imagine ever going back to the depressed, lonely, self-hating person I was just a week ago.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to try to write all that. I hope it will be useful.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 107493
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Mar 23, 2018	Views: 824
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Huasca Combo (269), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Syrian Rue (45) : Entities / Beings (37), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Combinations (3), Alone (16)