DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

BODY WEIGHT:

104 lb

This mushroom trip, one I’ve named the “Snowflake Trip,” began early in the morning on my eighteenth birthday. I wanted to experience cool morning air and light, since most of my previous trips had begun in the afternoon. My boyfriend and I woke up around 6 AM, packed a bunch of snacks, and headed for the woods. Once there, we found a lovely setting with a creek and a little waterfall surrounded by trees. We put down our bags containing our phones and some food, then sat on the warm rocks to eat 2 grams of mushrooms each. 
           
When the dizziness set in, we laid down side by side. My body began to melt into the rocks. It was strange but not unpleasant, especially if I relaxed and allowed the sensation to wash over me. Adam seemed to be experiencing the same thing. Every now and then we’d look at each other and say “Are you melting?” “Yeah, I’m melting.” The odd feeling reached its peak after about five minutes, then started to subside.            
           
Adam got up after a while to go sit in the sun and listen to his music. I stayed where I was with my music while I watched the sky. There were no clouds during this trip, so my brain turned the blue sky into a kaleidoscope of snowflakes. They glowed bright white, blue, and sometimes purple, and seemed to respond to the music in my headphones. I stretched out my arms and put my hands in the air above my face, hoping they too would radiate a pattern of light. Sure enough, snowflake kaleidoscopes spread out from my hands, as if I was creating them. I let my hands wave around rhythmically to my music, and giddily watched the patterns they inspired in the sky. I was the conductor of a visual orchestra.
           
When I finally put my hands down, I grinned and let a full belly laugh rumble up from within. Suddenly I saw my own face, transparent, but in perfect detail, in the sky! It was as clear as if I were looking into a mirror, aside from its translucency that allowed the blue of the sky to pass through. My face above me smiled and laughed exactly when I did, and mirrored any other facial expressions I tried out. I found the experience bizarre, intriguing, and terribly funny, all at the same time.
           
An upbeat song came through my headphones, so I decided to get up and move around. Upon standing I noticed that I felt wonderfully light, and a giddiness rose up in my chest. I let it out with a large, glorious, relentless cackle and began to dance around. Luckily for me, there was no one around to be bothered by my gleeful strangeness, so I let it loose. 
           
I lifted my arms into the air as high as they could go and spread out my hands. I was presenting the beauty of the sky. I also presented the wonderful dark green trees with their emerald stars and spirals, and the crystalline swirls in the current of a nearby stream. Snowflakes even found their way into the rocks below my feet, perfectly symmetrical and all around. 
I wandered around until I found myself in a patch of early morning sunlight. The light was pouring in over the treetops from the east, and I sighed with pleasure the moment it touched my skin. Before I was even aware of my intention to speak, I exclaimed out loud, “Oh the sun feels so good.” Adam looked up at me from where he was sitting and smiled. He understood exactly what I was feeling.
           
I walked barefoot over the warm, smooth rocks and into the cool stream. I danced and leapt and stretched just to feel myself move. I became aware of the immense complexity and astounding precision with which my physical body operates. The thought that I would ever have the audacity to find fault with my physical self was just absurd. I was overwhelmed with amazement and gratitude for my ability to move, to experience sensations, to see, to hear, to eat. How could I be unsatisfied?
           
I felt light and free, young and strong, and warm and radiant. I basked in boundless love for all people and things. In my moment of joy I caught sight of Adam. He was standing knee deep in the middle of the stream encircled by bright green foliage. He was facing away from me, taking in the view that surrounded him. It looked as if he was standing in a spacious hallway with a domed ceiling made entirely of trees and ferns. He was the focal point. The greenery pulsed with energy around him, furling and unfurling. I knew the scene would stick in my mind. Adam was the director and the onlooker, the active participant and the quiet observer. Participant of what, I wasn’t exactly sure, but that was the way I perceived it. Above all, Adam and the plants were very happy to see each other.
         
Eventually we ended up sitting together in the sun on the rocks. We talked for a while, and laughter kept bursting out of me. After a particularly exuberant bout of laughter, I heard the words, “I may be obnoxious but I love myself,” and realized I had spoken them. The statement came out naturally, with so little inhibition that I’d already said it before it had passed through my mind as a conscious thought. I felt almost as if my mouth told me what my brain was thinking, which would define “me” as separate from my brain. Or perhaps the thought passed instantly from subconscious to verbal expression, skipping my conscious evaluation entirely. Regardless, my declaration of self love, wherever it came from, was pure, uninhibited truth.
           
As the day progressed and became warmer, I was drawn to an area of the stream that collected into a pool of waist deep water. I scampered over to it, rubbing my hands together with anticipation, and dipped my legs in one at a time.  Then I slid in slowly until my feet hit silky, gooey silt. I sighed contentedly. The water was cool and the mud was soft. My eyes were closed as I let my head tilt back to feel the sun on my face. When I opened my eyes, I melted at the sight before me.  There was a dense collection of leafless trees whose branches criss-crossed and wound tightly together. The light of the rising sun shone brilliantly through, creating radiant pink, orange, and yellow beams of light that simply took my breath away. In addition to the light, the branches morphed into beautifully complex patterns that played with the colors shining through them.  I thought, “What an incredible sight to witness,” then I lifted my arms and exclaimed to myself “Behold!”
       
A couple on a hike came by on a rarely used trail after a while. It was the same trail we’d followed to find our pretty spot next to the pool of water. We greeted them as they passed, and someone made a comment about how nice the weather was. I felt affection for the two strangers, especially because they seemed happy to be outside on a beautiful spring day. 
           
Adam came down from his trip before I did, so he was able to drive and we left the forest around noon. I was still experiencing mild visuals on the way home. I watched snowflake trees rush by from the window of the car, and stuck my hand out to feel the wind. My birthday trip was a simple reminder of the fact that I am here. It is an incredible privilege to experience life. There is no greater gift.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 108093
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jun 17, 2020	Views: 748
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Mushrooms (39) : Glowing Experiences (4), Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)