Citation: Grace_. "A Fungal Bridge to the Cosmos: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp108277)". Erowid.org. Feb 27, 2020. erowid.org/exp/108277
Dose: 3g Cubensis
Set: Sleep deprived (36 hours), slightly anxious but ready to trip
Setting: In the woods next to our University nestled in the foothills of the Colorado Mountains
Fellow Voyagers: My friend M and her friends Sam and Paul
It was a cold Thursday afternoon in early spring when we took the mushrooms. There were four of us and I had a measly 7 grams to split. I was tripping with my friend M and her friends Paul and Sam whom I had never meant. We met at M's dorm and I weighed out 1.7g for everyone. About half an hour later we found someone to sell us more shrooms and we walked across campus to his dorm. I had some reservations about taking more because I was sleep deprived from staying up on adderall the night before and was still feeling the anxious effects of an addy comedown. But I said fuck it and took another gram with everyone else. At this point I was beginning to feel the familiar body tingling effects of the first dose. We left the dorms and walked to a creak close to campus.
As we entered the woods by the water things began to change. Suddenly colors and patterns became more apparent. We started playing with the pebbles and rocks. Sam went off on an absurd rant about how people aren’t that different than rocks/ everything is rocks. Surprisingly, what he was saying kind of made sense to me. This “we are just rocks/ everything is rocks” idea became a theme or thought loop throughout the trip.
Walking further there appeared a tiny walking bridge in the middle of the clearing I couldn't help but think to myself that we were in the book A Bridge to Terabithia. Seconds later Sam commented that the lonely bridge reminded him of the book. I could tell the mushrooms had us in a similar headspace and the possibility of telepathic connection crossed my mind. I knew that this was no ordinary place and that crossing the bridge signified our journey to a place of renewed clarity and true understanding.
Suddenly in the middle of a clearing there was a rock that looked like it had fallen from space. As we moved closer I could see this was no rock at all put a portal to another dimension. Someone had painted planets and the sun in a formation that gave the rock life. The beautiful natural colors of the rock blended perfectly with the spray paint and the space appeared 3 dimensional and swaying/vibrating with energy. This rock was a very real portal to another place. In the intricate, dynamic grain patterns I saw the reflection of the galaxy, a cosmic wink. This gave way to the realization that the universe is just repeating patterns and everything is just reflections and new interpretations of greater things.
Next to the rock was a dead tree covered in the most vibrant green moss I had ever seen! Moving closer I saw repetitive patterns of growth and life in the moss that were bursting with energy and significance. Suddenly I had the profound realization that the tree had to die so the moss could grow and this was just a transfer of energy. The moss was the tree because the tree had given birth to the moss.
My attention was then redirected to footprints in the mud. looking at the footprints I saw that everything was patterns. In that moment humanity’s sole purpose was footprints in the mud. This gave way to the idea that the meaning of life is to create new and more expressive patterns. For things to get stranger, more intricate, and more profoundly connected in every passing moment.
At this point I felt absolutely dazed. I could tell that I was in that special place between ordinary reality and subconscious innate universal understanding. I was overcome with a sense of perceptive alteration in the direction of true clarity. I was seeing clear tracers and everything was wavy. Suddenly I noticed there was a pentagram in the grass and blood oozing from a tree. Mind you these were not hallucinations but the very real marks of past visitors. I could tell the significance of this place was apparent to others as well, or perhaps it was the others that gave this place its significance in the first place.
Next to the pentagram in the grass was a bench with a RIP dedication plaque. We sat down. “We’re sitting on a dead women!” M cried. This prompted a conversation about death. M talked about a girl she used to know who died. This girl would collect dimes and leave them around the house for ice-cream (I know this sounds weird I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly or if M even told the story accurately). Then after she died her parents continued to find piles of dimes around the house and they would smile because they knew a part of her was still with them. This was the saddest thing I’d ever heard. I felt the joy of parenthood and pain of losing a child and felt that I understood it completely. Although my eyes had been watering throughout the trip, now I began to shed real tears. The emotion was so raw and crying was euphorically cathartic. This feeling quickly passed as the conversation changed, although my emotions stayed intense.
We had wandered to a place in the woods between a water drainage shed and our university’s rec center. Between the drainage facility and the rec center ran a long pipe with a strange jutting outward in the middle. We couldn't figure out why the drainage pipe curved the way it did. It was an otherwise mundane pipe except for the middle where it swerved in a way that suggested it was built around some invisible force field. This meaningless alteration of an otherwise straight pipe was the strangest, funniest thing that ever happened; a cosmic joke. It was both the meaning of life and the most meaningless thing in the world.
We walked to a brick wall. There were etchings of monkeys and mushrooms and I knew we were not the first mushroom voyagers to stumble upon this place. The etchings reminded me of Terrence Mckenna’s “stoned ape” theory in which he claims that it was mushrooms that propelled the evolution of humans and the development of language. This theory made total sense in the moment. At this point M was ecstatic and claimed she was the highest she’d ever been. She said she kept forgetting her life, and I guess I had too. My past just didn’t seem important anymore, it was intangible. What was happening in that very moment was the only important thing in the world because everything in the universe was happening right in front of us.
After spending about 3 hours wandering this tiny plot of land, we decided to walk back to campus. As we were walking back up the trail I felt a presence and got the feeling that someone was missing from our group. It felt like someone I had forgotten about was there and inhabited that space, maybe the spirit of the mushroom. As we traveled back to campus, the sober people we passed seemed totally alien and robotic. They all seemed so determined to get somewhere or do something. “Where are they going??” I exclaimed. The idea that anyone had anywhere to be at all seemed absurd. We noticed a group of men dressed in blue sweat suits standing in perfect formation. Their serious demeanor was totally perplexing! They looked like they were in the military but they weren’t dressed like any military men I’d ever seen. They looked like smurfs in all blue track suits. “What are they doing??!!!!” we asked ourselves, trying to contain our laughter. Suddenly a man on a bicycle also dressed in a blue track suit sped past us. As he approached the formation he jumped off his bike and leapt into the formation. It was so fucking weird!! These people seemed brainwashed! I couldn’t begin to understand why they were just standing there when there’s so much else to do and see!! They seemed so blind to the world and I laughed because I realized I’d likely been places today that they had no idea existed.
After we made it back to Sam and Paul’s dorm I could tell the trip was coming to an end. The visual aspects were gone but the psychedelic energy persisted. We tried some orange juice and it tasted amazingly complex although the flavor was too overwhelming to take more than a sip. After this I walked back to my dorm where I met my friend who had DMT.
While I was back in the woods peaking I felt absolutely ready to experience DMT for the first time, although now that I was coming down I was having second thoughts. I met my friend in his room and I took 3 hits out of a dab rig. Unfortunately I didn’t hold the hits long enough to blast off. I did however get a rushing sensation throughout my body and a tingling in my mouth. I could tell this drug was the real deal and I could see how this effect foreshadowed the divine nature of DMT. At first I was determined to try this drug again in an hour when my tolerance went down. However, my friend started talking about how when he breaks through it feels like every cell in his body is bursting and he thinks he’s dying. He said it is either the most pleasurable or painful sensation. This scared me and I think a part of me wasn’t comfortable enough around him to have such an intense experience. I decided that it was not my time to fly.
This was my most intense mushroom experience so far. At the peak of the experience I felt like I had returned to a magical place I had known years ago but tragically forgotten. It really was like seeing the world again for the first time again. The sense of nostalgia and truth that permeated the experience was moving and I know that my descriptions could never adequately convey the unspeakable beauty of this trip. While this trip was profound, I know I still have much to learn from the mushrooms. We have plans to return to this spot on a higher dose in a few weeks and I hope to venture further into wonderland then.
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