Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: YeOlde. "Acknowledge Your Consciousness: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp108671)". Erowid.org. Sep 12, 2021. erowid.org/exp/108671
My life is beautiful and amazing. So is every single life ever to have been conceived. Being with consciousness is a gift and wisdom unlike any other on earth. Many of our fellow humans just cannot take it. That's why sometimes we lose them. The gift can too be our biggest burden but only if we live our lives without acknowledging our consciousness. If we acknowledge it, revere and respect it we can handle anything life sends our way. We can look upon some of the hardest personal strifes as something that for what it is, is beautiful. Life is a journey of emotions.
I have and was suffering with suicidal despair, depression and anxieties that have ruled me. Consumed me. Years of Opiate addiction and darkness. I still am dependent but now I'm a different person with a dependency. I decided to seek awakening and enlightenment from Mushrooms, Psilocybe cubensis. I needed help and I was told from other brothers and sisters of the earth that these incredible creations can show you the light. Well they definitely left me feeling enlightened.
I will now try and describe the experience. Twice in the same week I tripped on mushrooms. The first was 2.5g with my sister. It was very beautiful but also very gentle. Not what I was looking for. I needed enlightenment. The mistake was we didn't eat the grinds with the tea and there was no need to boil them past 5 minutes.
T:0:00 = 2g Cubensis
The second time is the time worthy of this report. It has made me wise. I was in my house alone. It was 17:50 when I took the mushrooms. I made them using a Tea method. I steeped them in boiling water for 3 minutes with half of a juiced lemon, poured the tea through a sieve which was very important and then ate all the mushroom from the sieve. I then sat in the garden and drank the tea rather quickly.
With just me and my dog Steff in the house I knew this experience would be more personal as I'd be alone but with my dog for comfort during any harder moments. It was amazing.
Whilst sitting in the garden my dog on the other side of the grass, 10 minutes had elapsed and the first effects began. My dog Steff suddenly felt a million miles away but at the same time really close. It was probably due to me not perceiving the size of my dog and the outside in a correct ratio! I knew this was going to be intense and with an annoying noise outside I went in the house, grabbed a blanket and sat in my room with my dog.
Visuals were quite strong at this point. Sunlight coming through the window was dark, then light, then green, purple and every hue in between. I got up and walked to the kitchen for some water for the experience. I noticed the grains in the wood were flowing and running along like rivers on the bathroom floor.
No more than 20 minutes had passed at this point.
I sat in my bed and my dog sat at the end with me. I felt a strong connection to her. Like she knew I was altered and she just sat there at the end and felt like a guardian to me whilst I slowly slipped more and more into the trip.
With my legs crossed and back against the wall of my bed I then started to take off into the universe. A bright white light with my eyes closed and then I was propelled into space floating through space observing the galaxies, stars and everything atom of the cosmos. My head felt like it took off like a rocket and completely left my body behind whilst I was projecting through the universe. This was similar to a Ketamine type dissociation (K-Hole). A seperation to my body.
This was the coming up part of the trip and I believe this went on for 40 minutes. I was non human a floating energy.
I then came back into a more level part of the trip and now so many things were flashing before my eyes. I had strong kalediscopes of colours floating along. I was going at 100mph through a world of colours and psychedelic madness. Nothing made any sense at all but it didn't need to.
When I opened my eyes I came out from that journey and I realised I was just sitting on my bed with my dog at the end still guarding me. Now with my eyes open I then began to feel intense sadness and death. Skeletons and skulls were in front of me in a background of RED, GREEN, BLUE covered by blackness at the top of the skull. Like a sky of black. The feeling of death was prominent and intense and I was able to look straight at it. I then felt my heart beat. My heart became central along with the feeling of death. Your heart is your life force after all!
With this intense feeling of sadness I must have been inside this for some 10 minutes I placed my hand on my dog to feel her for some comfort and my dog must have picked up on it.
She came to me into my lap and began licking me and this made me feel intense love and joy with sadness and death still there. But my dog knew she was making me feel incredible love so she carried on and got really forceful, licking my throat and showing me huge amounts of dog love.
The feeling of love and sadness was now both at their highest heights, so strong that tears poured from my eyes. I was crying like I'd never cried before and still Steff kept on showing me huge love and I embraced her and loved her intensely. Two oceans of sadness and love met and collided in my brain and spirit.
This was one of the most powerful moments on the trip. Simultaneous love and sadness, intensified. I was totally connected soul to soul with my dog.
This embrace was prolonged and carried on for some time and then I was out of that place and feeling very floaty. I then had this intense feeling come over me about how we humans need to love and protect animals. We have so much intelligence and awareness of our consciousness but this can destroy as well as create. The feeling to love and protect animals was unlike any other and I then felt intense anger.
Anger was now prominent. How can us humans do so much harm to animals when we know better. With our consciousness. We must protect and nurture them. At this point I was a shepherd. A protector for all animals.
I then looked upon my dog at the end of the bed and as she looked back at me her face was shifting. She was laughing at me, sticking her tongue out at me and both her eyes were flashing swirls of colour in RGB.
This gave me some fright and humour simultaneously but I went with it. The mushrooms took me on the journey so I let it do its thing. With these intense visuals and madness at this point I felt like calling my sister and talking to her.
We had a phone call and telling her about what was happening to me made her laugh and this made me laugh uncontrollably too. Intense laughter and happiness ensued. She cut me off saying she had to go to work and to enjoy the trip I said OK.
The phone went dead and suddenly I felt intense feelings of loneliness. A void. Wow it was a sea of nothingness. This is what it will feel like when my sister dies. The feeling was powerful but at the same time I felt wise to having felt this. A preparation and taste for a period of life that could engulf me.
I then started to think about how I must try my utmost to use my intelligence to help other people and animals.
Writing this report is the start of that. I feel incredibly different after this experience.
Hours had now elapsed and it was around 21:00. My mum came home at around 21:30 and the main effects were gone. I was just confused and still on the tail end of the trip but I decided I had to tell her about it and I then tried to recall the entire experience to her.
It was at this time during the end I felt the presence of my mum's dead sister (my aunt). I felt her energy in my body and it was just love and colour. Paintings of colour and love and the thought and feeling of my auntie. I told my my mum this and it hit her hard. It was beautiful. My mum kept asking me what is she trying to say and I told her she isn't trying to say anything. She just existed as love and colour in my mind and body. My mum said yes, she loved you all very much. This made me cry a feeling of sadness and happiness again simultaneously but nowhere on the same intensity as the middle of the trip. But it felt so strong. I loved her too and miss her as well.
T:05:40 - Around 5 hours 40 minutes in and it's completely over.
Mushrooms really are a medicine. I feel very refreshed from the experience and renewed and this is a big benefit of them.
Tripping alone is much more personal and enlightening.
Peace and love to you all.
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