LSD & Mushrooms - P. mexicana (Truffle)
Citation: Andy Menzija. "High Dose From an IT Guy's Perspective: An Experience with LSD & Mushrooms - P. mexicana (Truffle) (exp109094)". Erowid.org. Apr 19, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109094
I am a 29-year-old university teaching assistant (IT) and have medium experience with magic mushrooms, salvia divinorum, spacecakes, smoking weed, and acid. I never did drugs before I started my PhD and gained access to scientific article databases with credible sources of information. I would describe myself as a calm/self-controlled person more introverted than extroverted and prefer taking drugs alone because social activities and norms become difficult for me when on them.
Just for the measure, 1 drop of LSD I had was enough for a nice trip. I had taken 1, 3, and 5 drops from the same source prior to this experience. Several friends of mine were also satisfied with the 1-drop trip. I would never do a dose this high from a source of unknown potency.
T: I took 7 drops LSD and 8 grams not really cracker dry truffles mexicana.
T+30m: Letters on the computer screen started moving, surfaces started breathing, and my attention was for 5-10 minutes shifted to the shapes of the surface of my wooden desk that started morphing and bleeding in brown and black colors. I felt that the effects would still get stronger, but not unhandlable, and I felt the urge to go deeper down the rabbit hole, as if I was close to the source of the eternal wisdom or source of self and wanted to reach it. But this urge was more like a drunken feeling of 'let's do this' without considering potential consequences of the act. I took another two drops, although I felt like I could suck up the whole bottle of acid I had. I returned to the room and started eating some snacks. The music was so intense it was designing the fabric my trip was made of. At some point I changed from Asian dub foundation to Sigur ros. The video of Sigur ros (user-made video) made me nervous as it was designed as a transparent collage of three images: sunset, seascape, and fireworks. It looked so tasteless I was convinced it was a trick of my mind, especially the fireworks part, but couldn't really check. The continent shapes on my scratch-off silver world map on my wall was melting and dancing every time I looked at it. The dark blue fantasy pyramid picture on my wall was changing colors in a beautiful way as well. Self-designed visual beauty. But nothing you can't do with digital technology anyway. White edges I would look at would soon start turning black as when the paper catches fire. I really enjoyed this. If I were an artist, I would probably do this more often for some inspiration.
T+90m: The effects started getting stronger now. Very nice visuals wherever I would look: Shiva, Aztec motives, light colors splashing, spectral leaking, reflecting and mirroring everywhere. I was amazed by this beauty and playfulness of my mind. I would disappear into ~10min thinking sessions and then re-emerge to reality and make a few steps around the apartment.
I would disappear into ~10min thinking sessions and then re-emerge to reality and make a few steps around the apartment.
I was aware that I was not fully aware of my surroundings and that I would be safer with a sitter, especially if the dose was any higher. I could make sense of the reality, but my mind would wonder off and leave the body unattended to its autopilots and reflexes or just lying on the bed. I had my thoughts and fantasies take me away with motives including Brazil and Middle East, I would wander through thought recursions measurable in non-measurable concepts and non-concepts impossible to describe in words. At least on two occasions it seemed to me I had a parallel life right now somewhere in the Middle East, or a previous life there.
It was also now that I got lost in my thoughts and experienced an ego death of some kind. I wasn't aware of my body any more and somehow the whole of myself was reduced to an abstract concept and processes. As if I was a baby. All my brain drivers got turned off and I had no language to think in, no verbs, no actions, no mental processing capacity, just my consciousness as a blank method, a constructor to be written on the class of Me. If you are a programmer, you'll know what I mean. I soon got back from this thought and regained awareness of my body and started thinking about the experience. It seemed to me now that ego death, once it occurs, is not that bad at all, and that it was actually only a side process of lesser importance in that what I had experienced.
I realized I had no idea of what I was getting into as I took acid and that what just happened in my mind was of great importance. But for whom? For my physical self? For my reduced self? For what was left after the ego death? Uncertain of what I was supposed to be, i.e. who should be learning from this experience, this question was bothering me for a while. Was this who I really was or was this my reduced self doing too much drugs? Was this a breakthrough from the real world to the imaginary world of drug-induced hallucinations or exactly the opposite? I laughed out loud more than several times realizing how strange it was that someone in the universe is going through this right now, or more precisely, that the universe itself was going through this right now. For a while I was thinking about my girlfriend, and our relationship. About the fact that I will die and how pointless the physical life is, when things that seem equally real can happen in a second in this drug-induced state. I felt as I had lived the entire life of another person from the Middle East (no idea why exactly there) in less than a second. What a terrible waste of time, matter and energy this life is. Why would this really be happening? Unless this 'real life' is not really happening and it's all just a dream and a hallucination.
T+180m: The effects were getting weaker now, and I was spending less and less time in thinking sessions. It wasn't over, however. I still experienced weird moments when I realized I don't have language and my mental processing was that of a child. I had my mind insert random forgotten memories and details forming them into thought recursions and distractors. Soon after that I had a feeling that I was just re-activating some mental processes I learned as a child: the process of processing reality. Of analyzing visual stimuli in time and responding with a reaction. I remembered not having words for these as a child, but that I was learning them and started using them. They didn't have names as I didn't know words at that time, but they were 'something' and I understood that. If I were a computer, my experience was as if I had my hardware drivers for certain brain regions uninstalled, and then compiled from source and installed again after a while. In reality I guess this means my brain regions got desynchronized and stopped working together for a while causing this temporary loss of reality-processing abilities. This process wasn't unpleasant, it just was there. At the time I didn't really realize that this was probably my earliest memories as a baby, but in retrospective I believe that they were. If not memories, than the same things I experienced as a baby - not knowing how to process sensory input and not knowing how to PROCESS and that I SHOULD PROCESS reality. ANd then slowly learning how to do it.
T+300m: I went to the balcony and changing my environment landed me back to the ground more or less. I enjoyed a glass of whiskey watching down on the street from the 3rd floor. The visual distortions were still present and remained all until I went to sleep after midnight, but didn't bother me too much any more.
T+420m: Almost back to normal. Slower and clumsier than usually, but performing my daily chores and waiting for my girlfriend.
Went to sleep after midnight. You might think that 6 hours is a short time for a trip on that much acid and shrooms, but I usually have effects wear off faster than online resources would claim.
I usually have effects wear off faster than online resources would claim.
Next day very tired (but also had to wake up relatively early). One day later still distracted and tired, and a bit depressed after I returned to the world not shining in bright changing colors and crazy creative thoughts all the time. No wonder I guess, my dopamine receptors were overloaded during the trip.
In conclusion, a positive experience with positive insights, childhood memories revived, impossible abstract thoughts. But LSD remains what I already thought it is; a chemical agent to introduce me to unusual brain states by desyncing brain regions and firing neurons and memories that don't get fired in everyday brain usage.
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