Mushrooms - P. azurescens
Citation: MediHerb. "Spiraling Incomprehension: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. azurescens (exp109218)". Erowid.org. Jun 27, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109218
Before getting into the experience, here's a few things about my experiences with psychedelics: I've used cannabis since I was 15 nearly every day. As a sufferer of depression, it has always been a safe way for me to calm my thoughts and relax. I've also smoked salvia divinorum multiple times in the past four years. I prefer much lower doses of this compared to anything over 20mg/g Salvinorin A. Otherwise, I find it very uncomfortable/scary. Lastly, I had tried mushrooms once before. The first time, I had a low dose of dried p. Cubensis. About 0.7g worth. That time, I had a very enjoyable 'giddy' experience with very slight closed-eye visuals and strong euphoria. Predominately, I felt a sense of oneness with myself and surroundings. During the first experience I felt in total control of myself which is something I have trouble dealing with losing. I'll get more into that later.
Now, onto my trip last night. Set & Setting: I had gotten home from work at 5 pm. I felt a little tired but was also excited to eat the mushrooms I'd been saving all week. I wouldn't exactly say I had a good day at work, but it wasn't bad either. This all took place in my 900 sq.ft apartment. I also attempted to watch the first Harry Potter movie. I had no sitter for this experience (mistake #1).
About 7pm, I took a shower in preparation for the trip. About 7:30 I put a frozen pizza into the oven. My plan was to break up the mushrooms and sprinkle them on top of a slice or two of pizza. I weighed out just over 1 gram (or in this case about 4 smaller-sized mushrooms) and broke the stems and caps into small pieces. 8pm: I took the pizza out and cut it as even as I could. I chose 2 slices to add the pieces of mushroom to. At first, I was going to eat one slice and wait an hour to eat the second. But I made the cocky mistake of eating both slices with the entire 1.15g dose on them.
At that point, I based the decision to take the whole dose on the mildness of my first experience. After ingesting both slices, I smoked a bowl with a little less than half a gram of cali kush then started the movie. Anxiously awaiting the effects to start to take place, I felt a bit nervous.
As the cannabis effects set in I could tell something else was going to happen. As if I was already on the edge of a breakthrough. My last experience, it took nearly 75 minutes to feel anything. This time, however, I started to come up within 30 minutes.
8:45pm: Prominent head feelings. The first visual effects started to take the form of a greenish hue across the t.v. Screen and at the corner of my eyes. From there, the sharpness of the picture increased 10 fold. And I mean BLINDING detail. Almost as if I were right there in Gringott's Bank with Harry and Hagrid. The wacky costumes of the movie showed the most detail to me. The greenish hue started to take on a blueish-orange color but with the green still clearly visible.
9pm: Things started to get intense and fast. I felt very cold and even started to shiver. I grabbed a fleece blanket I had nearby. Just getting up off the couch caused a dramatic change in my visual perception. Trails started forming around everything that moved. Including when I moved my head. I also noticed that everything I saw started to appear skinnier and longer like it had been slightly stretched vertically. All the while, a strong feeling of anxiety and fear came over me as the shivering intensified.
9:08pm: Time had drastically slowed down to me. As I tried to watch the movie, it became harder and harder to focus on what was happening and even what they were saying. I reached a point where I had to look away from the screen just to process everything I saw. But to my dis-avail, when I closed my eyes I was blinded buy incomprehensible C.E.V.'s. When I would open my eyes, the outlines of the cev's became open-eye visuals, but with trails that made it impossible to see through. Now, I realized I was losing control of the trip and became alarmed. Even though I started having intense visual distortions, mind felt fully aware of what was happening. I knew I was tripping on mushrooms and knew I was losing control. But I couldn't stop it or even slow it down at all. This was my first 'buckle-up' moment as I began to panic.
9:15pm: Everything was intensifying too quickly. I couldn't handle all of it at once. The movie had become WAY too stimulating
The movie had become WAY too stimulating
and I had to get away. There was an intense feeling of uneasiness taking hold of me. I felt like if it's this strong just coming up, could I even handle the peak? This was my first moment of self doubt. The dreaded words 'bad trip' polluted my mind before I could stop it. From here, I retreated to my bedroom to lie down and hopefully calm down or sleep through it. This turned out to be futile. I first fell into my bed after barely being able to walk from the living room to get there. It was very dark in there and quiet. I thought it would help, but it made it much worse.
9:20pm: I couldn't handle the dark or quiet for very long. The visuals became more dominate with out light. I decided to turn on the t.v. Just to provide a dim light. This too didn't help much. In fact, the sound fueled the first auditory hallucinations of the trip. The Cleveland Show was on. Everything the characters would say would be disturbing and not in their voice I'm familiar with. They'd say crazy things like 'If you die while fucking, you burn in hell' or 'He's gonna die. Let's scare him some more'. All in a mocking/condescending tone of voice.
9:30pm: Everything in my perception began to swirl and spiral. I could no longer keep the visuals at bay. If I opened my eyes I couldn't comprehend what I saw. With them closed the whirling would get worse. I then began to feel very dizzy and nauseous.
9:35pm: I vomited despite trying everything I could not to. It was very violent and unexpected. Immediately after, I felt a slight relief from the hallucinations but still felt very uncomfortable. I got back in bed but could not find any position I wanted to lay in. Every position made it worse. Slowly, the visuals started to intensify again.
9:45pm. I had to get out of the room. I struggled to stand up and walk out into the living room where the movie was still playing. I grabbed a cigarette from my pack and went to the back patio to smoke it, hoping for some kind of relief. Once I stepped outside in the dark the whole treeline behind the building was illuminated in my mind. As if the whole landscape was canvassed over with a fluorescent green leaf design with a sparkly(?) texture. The glowing cherry from my cigarette glided around as if it was part of the green canvass of leaves.
9:50pm: The cigarette was making things worse so I put it out about half-way. I returned inside and tried to see if I could continue watching the movie. I could not.
9:55pm: I retreated back into my room to lay down. The nausea was returning and, again, I vomited. After this time, I felt different. Like I was beginning to plateau even though it had only been and hour since things began. I sat on the floor with my bucket for a few minutes as things seemed to be starting to taper off.
10pm: I returned to my living room once again. This time around, I felt like I could finally start to handle everything that was happening. The oev's started to disappear gradually. My cat came up to me and I immediately felt a smile come across my face. I picked up my cat and carried her to my couch and sat with her. She allowed me even more comfort as I slowly returned to reality.
10:30pm: I felt much better. Just the mildest feeling of the mushrooms remained with a slight euphoria. I felt so relieved that I made it through such an intense experience, but simultaneously was disappointed that I felt almost sober already. I blame that on throwing up the mushrooms before they were fully digested. I even briefly contemplated taking more before deciding I had more than enough for one night already.
There were several points during this experience that I really wished I had somebody there to calm me down. I learned the value of having a good sitter with you to make things go a lot better. I also learned that dosing has a huge effect on the come up. Especially with these particular mushrooms. From now on, I'll start low, wait an hour, then dose again in increments (escalator dosing). Lastly, I won't underestimate the power of psychedelics. Just because I enjoyed them before doesn't mean I always will.
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