Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Gomey. "The First Dive: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp109449)". Erowid.org. Sep 3, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109449
Set: I have done mushrooms several times in lower doses the most I have ate before this was 3.4 grams (with the last time being the first time by myself and my apartment got burned down). I quickly realized these drugs are far more than just some recreational drug to catch a buzz from. Between these two experiences I was turned onto Terence McKenna and his work which grasped my curiosity. Going in to this my mindset was 'I'm on a exploratory mission'
Weight: 126 Lbs.
Setting: myself in my room, minimal noise and in complete darkness. I lived in 2 bedroom apartment with roommate and his girlfriend.
Time of ingestion: 11:04 P.M.
Dose: 50 grams of Freshly Picked Albino Penis Envy Psilocybin mushrooms
About 40 minutes after ingestion I smoked 3 bowls of cannabis and as the 3rd bowl started I felt this slight tickle of this *Cosmic Mycelium* slowly drifting down from above and branching around me. I thought to myself *alright here we go, hang on tight.* I was on the floor and started, almost unknowly saying things aloud like 'be good to me' 'we can be friends' I suppose I was addressing that to the mushroom because I was just realizing how fast and intense the come up was becoming.
As the effects are getting stronger an energy started creeping up and down all through my spine. Laying on the floor in my dark room, my legs are constantly moving and shifting, I can't sit still for the life of me. After crawling around the floor changing positions rapidly I thought to myself that I was losing my way or something, maybe just paying to much attention to the body-load. Eventually fed up, I got up and with one big sigh flopped onto my bed and was able to calm down a little bit. After some time passed lying on my bed, out of no where the thought of how whales communicate through song forcefully exploded into my brain completely capturing all of my attention. A few moments later I felt a 'ball' or 'lump' in my stomach. This 'lump' started to slowly roll up my throat into my mouth and if I opened my mouth I thought some weird language would spew from it. But my earlier thrashing around and talking aloud to myself startled roommates quite a bit So I was trying to hold back some of the experience at this time.
Time: 12:30-1:30 am
Some time passes and Out of nowhere I began to feel a presence in the room.
Out of nowhere I began to feel a presence in the room.
It was a very strange mental red flag feeling that I knew someone just joined me or made their presence known. I tilt my head to my right and there standing is a faint 7 -8 foot tall mist/shadow person. It begins to slowly sway left and right walking towards my bed where I'm laying on my back. It very gently gets on top of me and well...begins Intercourse with me. As soon as that happened my whole body gets warm and a wave of blissful euphoria washes over me. I become completely calm and just as quick as the mist person was there, it was gone but leaving me feeling good, calm, and safe.
Starring at the ceiling Feeling amazing and content I started to noticed my face was going numb. Then a very physical sensation that a helmet, like a space-man or an old style scuba-diver helmet was put onto my head and it was doing something with my pineal glad. Weird but pleasant physical sensations where being swirled around up in the middle of my head (in my pineal).
At this point the energy in my spine was radiating furiously up and down, up and down, so much so it almost hurt. Then all of the sudden the energy bridged up through my neck and it exploded out of the crown of my head in what felt like a huge funnel shape that went up, out and around my body. At that moment I was filled with this tremendous awe-inspiring feelings of spirituality and connectedness to the universe. Something I have never experienced or even knew was real for that fact. It was a truly mystical experience. Suddenly everything that ever happened made sense but in an almost 'I know crazy amazing right?! But now like, so what?' kind of theme or vibe. Simultaneously what felt like a small blockage in my inner-ear became dislodged, I could hear and feel it. A warm liquid rolled down and drained into my throat through my ear-sinus passage. It almost felt round in shape. Following that came a flow of this sweet, heavenly or Divine tasting nectar that flowed down the passage that just cleared.
At this point Time is no longer real. There were periods of this experience from here on in where it felt like I was waiting for years drifting alone up in a void like hyperspace.
Some more time passed and eventually a big huge wheel/tire shaped object appeared floating in front of me kind like it has always been there forever and this funny idea or theme that popped up like that earth is like a young fresh planet in a real old place (which made me want to start cheering like somehow our planet pulled it off and was able to incarnate and wiggle it's way into existence) and There was a very strong theme of extremely advanced technology and ancient Civilizations at this point. Instead of being rounded off where tread would be on a regular tire it came to meet at a point. I thought it was made of some exotic metal or something and it had I think 6 to 8 engraved lines equally spaced going down/around the wheel. They all had their own color and the colors were something like green, blue, brown, yellow, purple, I can't remember them all. The thought that it represented all the types of life or something close to that then 'popped up' almost like these ideas were being suggested to me. It felt like it represented something like insects, mammals, reptilians, plants, fungi etc. But human (or ape maybe?) had their own engraved line on the far right, it's color was my skin color. It was the only one that had a big kink about 45 degrees going off this wheel. Now as soon as I realized these things, the wheel vanished.
Soon after, all of the sudden I felt like I was moving very fast and I realized I was zooming down a very large double helix backwards. Eventually I came to the end and zoomed right off it like a ramp. A small distance away from The complete DNA structure I just took a roller-coaster ride on I unknowingly and instinctively whispered aloud, 'was that me?' and then it vanished. Very soon after that a stereo-typical airlock decompress noise sounded with the psychical sensation of the helmet being taken off my head. At the same time the flow of that rich, Divine nectar flowing down the back of my throat was suddenly caught off.
I realized then had to pee all the sudden but I thought I was dead. 'well if I'm dead, then why would I have to get up to go to the bathroom?' well luckily I changed my mind and said out loud 'wait, just in case.' On the walk to the bathroom my whole body was in a violent storm of trembles. Trembling everywhere in my body, every single muscle and nerve ending was just going haywire I was able to kind of bounce-walk over to the bathroom. I thought I must of looked like and insane crazy whacko person to anybody else.
In the Bathroom I was looking in mirror laughing and giggling to my self as I resembled an alien! I'm skinny but toned, pasty white, and was bloated as buck from the mushrooms with giant saucer eyes, I looked like an alien and was astounded! (specifically a Small Gray species as you see in scifi movies or literature) Then my arms started picking up stuff on the sink counter if front of me, putting it back down and shuffling stuff around really fast by themselves without my will doing so for about 6-9 seconds. A pleasant feeling radiated up and down through them while this happened. All I could do is stand there and laugh and giggle at my appendages. After my arms stopped something caught my eye in the bottom corner of the bathroom floor. My vision zoomed out of my head and in very close to where my focus was, with a sudden mega high spike in clarity, like triple high definition. My body felt like it got pulled back at the same time and I fell down.
A little shaken I get back up and go into the living room and try to start watching TV. It was straight up bejeweled patterned jewels on the screen. Red and orange circles and squares, purple and blue diamonds, green triangles. So I slinked up on to the couch and thought I was watching TV but after the jewels didn't do anything for what felt like 5 minutes I said aloud 'wait...' And they then faded fast. I retreated back into my room after that onto my bed and the trembling came back. But also that's when the music started.
It was like rhythmic machinery trance type of music in the upper left corner of my vision. A slightly different softer trance type in the bottom left corner of vision and in the far right part of my vision was playing some speedy laser style of trance music. Every time I would look in the direction of where the music was coming from a single word used as an umbrella term for parts of my ego would accompany the shift in vision. It felt like my brain was recreating itself or my ego rapidly layer by layer or something. It continued like that until I came down which felt like 2-3 hours but that might be very inaccurate. It was around am or so now and the sun was peaking over the horizon out my window. When I finally decided I was ready to emerge from my room a HUGE chill ran up my spine accompanied by a slightly sinister, child style like laugh in my head.
All together I would describe it best as a straight up alien experience. My gut feeling about that twhiching is it was a result of eating them wet. I have had friends who blacked out from small smaller doses of wet mushrooms.
This was a insanely terrifying experience in best and worst ways. This was by far the most profound, inspiring and transformative experience I have had in my life yet.
3 years have passed from when this has taken place. Though I was only 19 I had a high respect for these psychedelic substances and had an honest approach trying to use them as the powerful tools they are. I was not simply seeking to get high which for some can be hard to understand. This experience has shaken my foundation to its core, and almost felt like it gave me a blank slate or hit the reset button on all of my mental patterns. In many ways this experience was positive and some ways it was negative.
In many ways this experience was positive and some ways it was negative.
Let's start with the negative.
1.) Being 19 I was fresh out of high school and my view on the world was terrible. I was all like 'MAN! I'm just a fucking slave to the rich 1%!' ' The world is being destroyed by us dumb fucking monkeys!' 'wake the fuck up you stupid sheeple!' 'this system is built to keep me dumb and poor and a corporate slave!' that type of mentality and all the mental clutter that comes with it. This experience did augment that to an extent which did spin me into a minor depressive state for about a year or 2. But I also understood that I now need to move past that mentality in order to progress as a human being. Integrating this experience into my life was probably detrimental to my social life. I feel many people think I 'finally went off the deep end' AHAHA. But luckily I have a few good solid friends.
Now for the Positive changes.
1.) I was shown the sacred connection between us and the universe and how unlimitedly infinite this ride we call existence really is, nothing is good or bad, right or wrong, it just is. I feel I was able to form a new unique sense of camaraderie with my fellow humans after that 2 year depressive/stationary mental state. It almost gave me a point of reference on how to see the mystical side to life that is so hidden in our everyday operations
2.) What that shadow person showed me was I was in continuous state of hyper-masculinity. In a way it balanced the Masculine and Feminine energy within me. The results of this have helped me grow in many parts of life tremendously.
3.) It was like my brain hit the reset button or something. I felt I had blank slate with my mental patterns I had no desire to smoke weed for I had an very strong cannabis habit. (but I soon started again by choice)
4.) As an artist this experience gave me an extremely Archaic, Galactic, Divine, Alien yet familiar type slice of inspiration that may not be as strong years later, but is still there. I have been able to appreciate my own art more as well.
5.) more to come when realized...
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