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Very Intense But Still Nice
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
by Layla
Citation:   Layla. "Very Intense But Still Nice: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp109968)". Erowid.org. May 1, 2020. erowid.org/exp/109968

 
DOSE:
  oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis

BODY WEIGHT: 52 kg


Second Trip Very Intense But Still Nice

After a nice little first trip in the forest with three friends I had been improving my behavior and thoughts towards life in general and some important things in particular and decided I could now handle a second trip. I felt emotionally and physically prepared, as I had been exercising and sleeping/eating well for at least a month.
I felt emotionally and physically prepared, as I had been exercising and sleeping/eating well for at least a month.


So, for the second time, I prepared a backpack full of things I'd need to go into the woods, for example a towel, a water bottle, my iPod and headphones, a cushion, etc. and invited the same friends to go to the same trail. I also avoided eating for at least ten hours before the trip. This time two of them couldn't go so I had only one sitter. We went further than we had gone the in first time and got to a corner higher up with a more spacious pool. It looked like paradise, as much as the first spot did.

As soon as we got there, I knew this was bound to be way more serious than the first time. I tried with no avail to accommodate myself on a stony corner and put my boots and backpack below me, ate the mushrooms and lay down for my trip.

For the first minutes I thought everything would be easy and smooth like the first trip had been. My head started getting heavy and I would laugh, hear every noise in the forest as if it was all really loud and I was unable to understand anything my friend said without a serious effort.

[Reported Dose: 5 stems and 3 caps]

Then came this really uncomfortable nausea that took over my stomach for the next couple hours. I was lying down for at least half an hour when I felt like I was inside a huge oven (where I live it's pretty hot in the summer so it must have been at least 30 degrees celsius at the time) and had to get some water not to dehydrate completely. I left my feet inside the pool while lying down so I could stay there and not melt at the same time but I still had to get up from time to time and drink some water and be away from the scorching heat of the tropical sunshine for some minutes.

The sun finally moved away from my spot so I lay back again and tried to focus on the landscape so I could relax and meditate. From my stony corner I could see the trees and the bright blue summer skies behind them.

It all started to 'melt' like the first time. The branches started getting distorted in some crazy way that made the spaces between them (from where I could see the sky) look like some specific elements. This vision was almost exactly like the 'crystals' I had seen the month before, only they were way more intense now.

The geometric pattern that formed between me and the landscape became way more clear than it had been on the first time and as the trip got more intense I felt like I was 'rushing' and 'accelerating', or 'speeding' and as I would 'progress' I would see the patterns intensifying as if they were multiplying more and more.

When I started to focus, the thoughts started coming to my head really fast. There were thousands of thoughts per minute and I couldn't stop at a single one. They would just come and go, come and go and I could react to them because as soon as I would start to realize I was having them, they were instantly gone.

Sometimes I felt this 'rushing' movement as if I was going towards the 'multiplying crystals' and I could see the geometric pattern getting more intense.

At some point, strong thoughts started showing up. Stuff I didn't feel on the first time started appearing. I felt a bit afraid because I couldn't control was what happening and whatever it was it had control of me. Then these strong thoughts were like voices (even if I couldn't hear them) and it really felt like some entity was having a conversation with me. I think it was my own brain but it was being displayed to me as if the 'crystals' were an entity, with all the patterns and this crazy 'appearance' in the trees.

It said things such as 'only you can control yourself' and more specific and less abstract ideas that sounded like orders, as in 'you have to start meditating again', 'do more with your life'. Some of these thoughts I interpreted as questions: 'when are you going to pull yourself together?', 'when you will get a grip', 'what is life?'.

I couldn't answer anything as I was paralyzed, both physically and mentally and tried my best to absorb these thoughts and memorize them as well as I could to use them as 'guidance' later. One thing the 'entity' wouldn't stop 'saying' to me was 'you really feel like being sober now, don't you? does being sober feel bad?' and for some reason I really agreed to this after it being repeated to me over and over. Yes, I really felt like being sober and no, being sober wasn't bad.

When the effects slowly started to wear out I got up and went in the water, tried to move around a little bit and started worrying that it was lasting 'too long'. My friend said 'let's go and you can eat something then you'll see how you'll get sober faster'. I was afraid of going back to civilization in that state of mind so I decided to stay a little longer and wait for my mind and body to come back to normal. I then noticed there was a lot of yellow butterflies in the area, had some nonsense conversation with my friend who was at that point pretty high on weed and then we tried to photograph a tiny frog on the waterfall.

After at least three hours from the beginning of the trip, I agreed to get down from the trail and go somewhere to eat with my friend. I was still pretty high when we made the descent, sticking my feet whenever I could and stumbling around, sometimes hopping like mad. I would burst out in laughter and yell from excitement and I knew I hadn't quite come back yet.

Unlike the first trip, I hadn't brought anything to eat in the forest so we had to get down as soon as possible, as my stomach was rumbling. My friend decided to 'take a shortcut' but of course when you want to do this kind of thing you have to know where you're going. The tropical forest changes all the time and sometimes things happen that modify the paths we knew. This was the case so we got stuck twice or three times until he finally made a forced shortcut down the hill and we were down on the road.

After I had eaten my mood improved a lot and I felt more energetic
After I had eaten my mood improved a lot and I felt more energetic
so I even went to a meeting at work and then to another friend's house after that. I spent the whole day on the run and didn't feel very tired. After I got stoned and went to bed I was relaxed. I have thought a lot about this these last days and I came to the conclusion that psilocybin can be a good medicine when taken correctly.

It is possible to live more fully using these experiences as moments when we can shake off the routine stress and focus on what is really good and relevant for ourselves.

Exp Year: 2017ExpID: 109968
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: May 1, 2020Views: 422
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Entities / Beings (37), Personal Preparation (45), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)

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