Citation: Psillysausage. "The Eyes of a God: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp110337)". Erowid.org. Jun 12, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110337
Previously I have done 2.2g of mushrooms lemon tekked, 160mic of LSD and smoked cannabis for a period of six or so months.
Preparation for this experience included hours of listening to lectures from Alan Watts and Terence McKenna. I have read books such as Psychology and Alchemy by C. G. Jung and researched deep into the topic.
The dose was taken at 9:25am in a chocolate spread sandwich and onset around 10:00am. It started with me hugging my friend (let's call him Jim) good luck and laughing about how nervous we were. Behind my closed eyes I saw root or mycelium structures growing from behind my eyes. I open my eyes again and looked him in the face. The detail was extraordinary.
The group I was with had taken a lower 3.5g dose and knew I wouldn’t be myself. They asked if they could leave me to walk 15 minutes up the bush path to a lookout in the mountains where we were staying. I agreed and sat myself down in my hammock among the trees. I closed my eyes and saw 3D images of gods surrounded by glowing laurels and a figure I saw as myself lying on a rock surrounded by running water. The god figure came down to me. I interpreted this as the mushroom taking its place inside my consciousness. I open my eyes moments later to find the leaves on the surrounding trees rushing and flowing as if they were affected by wind although the air was completely calm.
Not long after this I decided I want to explore with my friends so I cross the river to see them. They look at me with concern, as if they knew the high dose I took and wanted to make sure I was okay. They were looking at a native Australian bird called the lyrebird. At this point the world around me started to stretch and my field of vision increased. The leaves on the trees around me were flowing like a river. I continue to walk behind them hearing what they were exclaiming and I thought to myself “I don’t want to be hearing this” I rush back to the campsite and pick up some ear protection ear buds and walk back… I can still hear them and like Terence McKenna said the mushroom speaks. “The mushroom” said to me “Why don’t you listen to what they have to say” So I do.
Through the walk to the peak (of the mountain) I overhear some things my partners were saying and “the mushroom” was answering all their questions in my own head like it was so obvious such as “What is time”. In response to this visions of huge slideshows of earth spinning and the land I was currently walking “The time is now!” “It” cried over again. Walking through the forested area the surroundings would separate and overlap themselves as if I were seeing two images on top of one another.
I continue to walk asking questions. Some I wrote down in preparation for the experience... “The mushroom” answered all of them such the nature of consciousness I continued to ask “Why” again and again to each answer and got deep into the inner workings of nature.
I continued to ask “Why” again and again to each answer and got deep into the inner workings of nature.
Colours were brighter than ever. Sun shining through the trees was benevolent and the hue of the natural colours would shift and change from reds and oranges to yellows and purples and so on. My mind flowed peacefully. I would often stop and place my hands on things and just stare. Questions would pop into my mind and I would ponder amazed at what “the mushroom” and I would come up with. Tunes to songs I could make up on the spot filled my head followed by more questions. Further up the track I stopped with a friend, Jim, and I ask if he can see the flowing trees. He could not but explains to me that this is flowing time calving out the valleys and mountains. “The mushroom” laughs in my head my thoughts go “I Can see why females find him attractive – He’s passionate about things”.
A short part of the walk later I knew the knowledge I had available to me. I felt I was controlled by a god, nature. I was answering any question bought up but I would not say it out loud in fear of sounding arrogant or striking an argument with less spiritual members of the group. I felt small but protected and guided by this godly presence that was the Mushroom. This feeling continued for the rest of the trip.
The rest of the party reached the top of the mountain before I did and I stood with my hand on my chin contemplating life and the vast view. They decided to listen to music together through their headphone splitter. I decide to stay in my own head. I stare out into the trees as they form fractal patterns consisting of eyes and many shapes in yellow read and blue. I close my eyes and can still see these patterns. I open my eyes again and stare out until my vision is filled by a sphere of fractals with myself at the start and the furthest pattern way in the distance. I eat a cereal bar I had in my pocket and chew it for ages and ages before I have to ask myself to swallow it. It was difficult. I lay on a rock in the sun for what must have been 15 minuets, I felt the rock breathing beneath me and I felt as the world spun as I rode it like a surfboard. I close my eyes once again and cover them with my hands to prevent all light from getting in. I see machinery tuning and working with different bright colours of springs, gears and pistons. As their twenty-minute song ends we begin to leave back down the track with myself leading. At this point I’m leaping and bounding down the rocky path knowing exactly where each foot will land and where to jump to next. I didn’t tire throughout the steep walk up or down.
As my conversations with the mushroom continue. my friend (we’ll call him Bob) talks about how great it is to be human. At this point I couldn’t agree more. (NOT because of what humans are doing to this planet but what potential we have). Ever since we reached the summit, eyes had been appearing on the nature path along with the same fractal patterns. When I focused on what was making these patterns I saw the physical objects. In a sober state I know i was just blind to these fractals.
I will skip the hike down as it follows the same pattern as before. Asking and answering questions with and to the mushroom. It was very aware to me that these mushrooms were nature’s way of communicating with the intelligence of the human mind.
We return and I watch as my friends jump across the rocks trying not to fall. The mushroom tells me to take the time to undo my shoes and wade into the shallow water. I call out to my friends what and why I am doing this. As I am undoing my last boot the other falls into the water. “I take it all back!” I call out my friends and myself all laugh even if it was at me. After I cross I collect my notebook and a pencil and start writing answers to questions I had had. I see my four other friends knee deep in the surrounding lake, I wonder why they aren’t doing anything. They are playing music on a speaker. I walk towards them tapping my pencil. Asking and joking with the mushroom until I reach the end of the rock and come across the water. At this point the question “Is there anything else out there” Was just answered with the most hilarious and obvious answer. “The mushroom” refers here to my past research into DMT. After this I’m laughing and I hear the song my friend Jim had composed and recorded himself (Very Tame Impala inspired).
I hear the opening riff and shout “OH YES!” I rush towards my friends and throw down the book and pencil. “This can wait! I’m going to have some fun!” At this point I get to the water level, the water filled with eyes watching over and protecting me. I push off the side and dive head first under the surface. I feel amazing the water is cool and refreshing. I stand up again next to another friend (let's call him Dave) “Please don’t splash me”, Dave said nervously. At this point I realize why they were standing around in the water and not moving. The water was freezing cold I couldn’t care less, I felt so confident and comfortable in nature at this point. I swim around again and my friends look at me alarmed…
I hop out of the water on a ledge with my friend at stomach height with his feet in the water under me. I tell him he needs to jump in and to trust the advice of the madman who did five grams. I think about the magical FIVE grams and realize it's been staring us all in the face… We have five fingers on each hand. Nature made it so easy for us on how to guess the correct amount I rant off about this and my friends laugh and joke about it, I ask them to prove me wrong but happily go along with their jokes.
Now I push the friend starting close to the edge into the water. He stands up shakes the water off his head and thanks me. He talked about his new(ish) girlfriend and how he does love her but hasn’t told her yet. I tell him what reason does he have not to love her and that “its not that you have reason to love someone its that you have no reason not to”.
Soon after we turn the music off, chat for a bit and head back. I was coming down, even though the patterns were still visible and eyes still stood and watched. We head back to the campsite and I sit in my hammock, I get a feeling of discomfort being back in my own body but this changes when ‘Jim’ comes up and talks to me. He treated me like a real person and wasn’t worried about saying anything wrong. I told him I was still tripping and continued coming up with phrases and metaphors.
Now the trip is ending and I say a final goodbye to the mushroom and thank it for looking after me.
From a physical standpoint I learnt from this that this substance is best done alone. Although fun with friends it is most effective and useful without distractions. Such as Terence McKenna’s famous 5 grams in silent darkness.
This is everything I wrote down in the notebook on the day and the follow day after that.
Will consciousness happen again?
No, It does not need to. You've done your thing and its been going good since the 60s
Why is it so difficult then?
Its difficult because you are smart
Intensity is difficulty to overcome
Is there anything else out there?
Yes! It does not have to be what you know as physical (DMT)
Its not that you have reason to love someone, its that you have no reason not to
We call a dog smart on its ability to do as it is told
Is consciousness physical?
Yes. that does not make it less magical
Are we necessary?
You are to ask that question
What was out initial purpose? For there to be nothing there must also be something
Do we find out who we are when we die?
No. You find out by doing this
How much of this is real?
It depends what you call real
Everything is relative.
You are relatively small
Appreciation for nature is appreciation for yourself
The most happiness you're ever going to get is in the moment
To achieve happiness as a race you must integrate back into nature. If you want to give something back it’s yourself.
For there to be nothing there must also be something
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