DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

Here’s what I experienced. To put it shortly, I experienced infinity and the pain associated with it. There was no music during this entire trip. My stomach was angry the entire time. Max recorded the first half of this, but the tapes made me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, so I asked him to delete them.

I ate around 2:50. Two and a half dried mushrooms, around 2 grams. I had to measure them using a homemade balance because I couldn’t find a drug balance. They didn’t taste bad at all, although I took some bites with a cliff bar to cover the taste. I chewed them extensively. I used caffeine earlier in the day to make sure that I would have enough energy for the trip. My friend, let's call him Max, and I headed into Bald Hill right after we ate. We walked down the trail for about 10 minutes, then up a huge hill and settled into this place with a dead fire pit. It was very comfortable, very right. The temperature was a bit chilly, but still good. A sunny day, beautiful. We walked around the area for a bit to get to know the area and kill time. We got a bit tired and head back to our towels to sit and talk and wait. The effects were a slight buzz. These soon changed to slight hallucinations and just creative thoughts. The airplanes in the sky were boats in a pond; we were underwater. Colors were slightly enhanced. Hallucinations became more apparent. A slight warmth/hum covered my body. I looked up at the trees. I noticed the maze that the branches make, and those same patterns repeated themselves like kaleidoscopes. There was a time when it felt like the trees were waving back and forth, and the ground was bouncing, and I with it. The hallucination were phenomenal. During most of this experience my stomach was doing horribly. I could feel it buzzing and I just felt really nauseous. I was scared to stand up because I felt like I would vomit. I looked over at Max. His face was so foreign. The white of his eyes were violently red and the iris was a deep green. His teeth were unnaturally yellow. I wasn’t offput by this, I found it really cool.

There was this little leaf next to me, growing out of the ground. He was very friendly. He helped me get through the trip. We had one bee visit us, he was a bit invasive, but not an enemy. The mosquitoes were assholes. The nausea passed for a little bit, so I decided to get up and explore this alien world. Bad idea. It was overwhelming, the nausea came right back and I rushed back to my towel and lied down again.

I closed my eyes for a bit and had vivid hallucinations. I felt like I could look around inside my brain, I had control. There was so much there, it was endless. I saw black figures with red eyes, but I ignored them. I wasn’t going to let them take this trip in a bad direction. I kept searching through the abstract, I was looking for someone in my mind, I still don’t really know who, maybe a native of the mushroom land. I made the mistake of thinking.

I started just to think of random stuff, and it occurred to me that everything was linked. Everything led to everything else. Everything was a symbol. My mind ran through a violent amount of question, searching for a violent amount of answers and only finding more questions. It got to the point where I was frantically looking for more answers, it was so stressful and painful. My body during this time was rigid and shivering, it hurt when I moved. I started saying everything aloud, talking things out to myself and to Max. I was baffled by the concepts of words and the concepts of concepts and everything I thought about and talked about was so abstract. This world had no form. I put my head into the towel and covered it with my hood, attempting to take in less of this world, there was already way too much in my head.

Somewhere along the line, Max brought up a mutual acquaintance. I told him not to say that name again, she was a bad part of my life. I imagined all the bad parts of my life to be underneath me, in an upside down world. I needed to keep them out of my trip.

Things got so overwhelming, I started freaking out and I kept repeating the phrase, “There’s too much.” I asked Max to tell me a story from his childhood, to give me something to focus on instead of my own mind, and he started telling me about his girlfriend. It was a really touching story about how she grabbed his hand at the end of a concert and guided him through the crowd. It brought him to tears to tell it, and I was on the verge of crying, but tears no longer come to my eyes, so I just got a nice lip quiver. This lip quiver kept coming back, I was on the verge of tears for the rest of my trip because my emotions were so deep and things were so beautiful and meaningful. My life has meaning! I of course overanalyzed his story when he told it. Relating everything he said to everything I’ve experienced and everything I’ve read.

I was in so much pain at this time, I had seen too much and my head could not handle all of the questions it was asking, my stomach didn’t make it any better. This part of the trip felt like it went on for half a day. It completely broke me down and I was just begging for it to end. During this entire part of the trip I was telling Max that I was going to stay straight edge, that I was done with drugs because this trip alone would take me a year to figure out.

I asked Max if I could feel his hand. I needed something human, I was feeling lonely. The entire time I wanted to hug him because he was being so nice caring for me, but I felt it wasn’t right to hug him right now. I came to the realization that there are things that I might never feel again. My mind is changing, and I might never feel truly sober again. It’s frightening. Max assured me that I would, but I knew and still know that’s a lie. There are certain emotions that I won’t feel again.

6:11 I landed. It was the most liberating experience I have ever had. I just felt all of the questions leave me, I had control over my mind again. It was as if I jumped into a pool after being on fire, the relief was divine. The visual hallucinations were still there, but the pain had subsided. I stayed sitting to make sure that my stomach would be okay before we started moving. Max’s face was back to normal, his eyes were so blue. I asked Max to pack up the stuff because I just needed to get away from this. I wanted to be home. I wanted to be in Julia’s arms and resting.

I was so fucking shaky. I could not control my body, my body kept twitching, it was as if I had just been skydiving. When I stood up it felt as if I was taking my first steps. I was so unsteady and shaking and broken. But I was happy, I had survived and I had made it through the hardest part of my trip. We started walking down the hill. This took so long. I had to take it slow and take frequent stops. Sometimes the shaking got so bad that I couldn’t keep walking. I had to stop and remind myself to breath and force myself to calm down, but it was possible to do this. I had control again. I slowly fit more into my body and I got better at walking. Halfway down the hill I started to freak out. I felt so lonely. I was thinking that no one knows what I just went through and no one will. I felt like Max wasn’t a real human being, he was more of just a robot. Everyone in my life seemed so distant, and it was unbearable. Through shaky lips I told Max to tell me that I wasn’t alone. He did. I was on the verge of tears again and I felt like I didn’t even exist. Nothing existed and I felt the void and it was so cold. I hadn’t felt that loneliness since my depression of junior year.

A few moments later, Max slipped and fell down the hill a little bit. It made me laugh and brought me right back to a happier mindset because I knew he was alright. We kept walking. We got down the hill and started on the trail. The visuals were still strong, I saw Max’s body stretching, wider and wider. We reached a patch of sunlight by the lake and I asked to stop for 5 minutes to really take it in. It was gorgeous, I was leaning against a tree. I ended up getting sap on my hands, so we kept walking to a little river and I put my hands in the water. It felt like I was being cleansed, everything action I made was a ritual, everything I did was important, and it had to be done at the right time. Everything had to be in it’s right place, or else there would be major consequences. I recognized this and this is why I did not go back to the car while I was in pain. I needed to finish my pain at bald hill, because if I brought that into my life then it would never go away. I needed to separate myself from it. After I washed my hands we saw people coming the other way. I managed to keep calm and we let them pass. I did not look at their faces. After they passed we walked back to the car, this part of the walk went rather smoothly. We settled into the car around 6:50 and I felt exhausted. I was still shaking, but a bit less than earlier. We stayed in the parking lot of a bit while Max sobered up and we kept the music off.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
We then drove back to Max’s house. When we arrived we left everything in the car and went in. I chilled on his bed for a bit while he played smash. The nausea came in waves and it got so bad at some points that I was afraid to get up. I had Max grab me some food and water because I hadn’t eaten for most of the day. I ate what I could and I think it helped a bit. Around 8:00 we headed out to a Chinese restaurant to grab appetizers and tea. My head felt beyond clear and I was still shaking. I wasn’t nervous at all in public. The visuals began to subside around this time. We got into the restaurant and I had Max do all the talking. I was spacing out a lot and thinking about what I had just gone through. I got tea and scallion pancakes, I couldn’t eat much of them, we threw half of them away.

We left soon after and headed back to Max’s. We were both exhausted, but I was not mentally prepared to go to sleep, I knew that it was not the right time for that, the ritual had to be perfect. So I asked him to find some cards so we could play go fish or something. I didn’t want to focus on anything at that moment, I liked the idea of taking a monopoly board and rolling the dice to watch the game-piece go around the board, no one buying properties, just moving. We couldn’t find any cards, but we did find checkers, so we go that out and just played with the little chips. I wasn’t very talkative at this point, I felt a bit embarrassed and shaken up about earlier. My physical shaking came to an end by the time we got back to his house.

Around 9:45 I got a text from my girlfriend saying that she was seeing the first Spider-Man movie, so Max and I thought we would head over and see it with her and her sister. It was so comforting to see her after what I had gone through, there was no place I’d rather be. Everything that happened in her house seemed so surreal, something that only exists in movies it was so perfect. Her and her sister were joking around for the whole night and everyone was in a good, tired mood.

We got back to Max’s around 12:30 and we were ready for bed. I slept on the couch and he slept in his bed. I was a bit uncomfortable about being that far away from him, but it was okay. I asked for a blanket and a night light because I needed some form of security. I also asked him to throw out the last of the mushrooms because I never wanted to see them again, at least that batch. I slept fine.

Day after: My head is oddly clear. Everything has returned to normal. I truly feel sober again. I felt a headache in the middle of the day, my stomach was still in pain, but not nearly as much as yesterday, I was quite constipated. I’m still a bit embarrassed about how I acted, but Max doesn’t seem to care. I’m also exhausted. I went back to the spot for a little why to try to remember things, I said hi to my leaf friend. It was very surreal. My visuals were very slightly off. I slightly regret getting rid of the audio tapes, but I think it was the right thing to do.

Thoughts: I want to go back to find answers as to what I felt, but I know that I’ll only be left with more questions. It’s a very alien place and I’m going to do my best to stay straight edge until next summer when I might go back to the mushroom land. I will definitely have less of a dose, and I think it will be better because I’ll know what to expect. Overall I think my trip was worth it. It broke me down into nothing and then I rebuilt myself in the span of a few hours, but it was a truly unique experience. I’m considering acid because I don’t want to have to deal with the stomach pains, but acid is a fucked drug, so probably not. Shoutout to Max for taking care of me, he made this trip the best that it could be.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110502
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jul 10, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Relationships (44), Guides / Sitters (39), Nature / Outdoors (23), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5)