DOSE:	25 g	oral	Psychotria viridis	(tea)
	25 g	oral	Banisteriopsis caapi	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

First DMT Experience. Explosive

I know there are tons of different trip reports on DMT and there are loads of similarities but inevitably many differences too. I had brewed the Ayuaschsa about a month prior and left it in the fridge. To note, I have only tried mushroom prior at a small dose of 2g and also Ketamine/Salvia (in its leaf form and in a tiny dose) this is my only experience with psychedelics.

I was feeling a bit down and in need of an experience that would shatter my reality. I wanted to dissolve my ego and look at something more meaningful within. In hindsight, some people would say it was a hot-headed and perhaps ‘kick-out’ reckless move to swill down the DMT from the fridge.

I was also drinking lots of energy drinks and Kratom in the weeks before leading right up to this day but didn’t on the actual day of tripping, except for a tea and a Wellman vitamin drink to try and negate any issues of caffeine withdrawal.

As soon as drinking half of the tea I had. I had 50g of Viridis and 50g Caapi brewed separately , without vinegar or lemon on the first 1hr30m boils and I think a little dash on the second and last 1.30m boils, respectively. So, put simply, I drank half of what I brewed. It was a rank tasting drink. Surprising because it smelt quite sweet but the urge to vomit was indeed there! And I am used to drinking kratom and other herbs so thought it would be easy!

It took at least 2hrs to fully kick in. It began with a verbal fluid observation of various aspects of my life, I was just thinking out-loud and it was all flowing out nicely in a musical and mellow way.

Things just felt right. They just ‘were’ in a powerful way and despite the fact that I could not have possibly been even a tiny bit close to an ego-death I was still identifying the difference between my ego and infinite energy. I think this was a result of the train of though I have been on, the reading I have done and a general a spiritual recognition of the ego-less. I have been focusing my sober thought on this area of consciousness and as I have not had to work recently I have been able to devote time to so this felt like a consolidated, facilitated depression of what I have been pondering for a while but by no means could it be an ego-death, not within the semantical DMT definite anyway, perhaps bordering a natural one if that possible. Anyway.

I began to think the tea was weak as I wasn’t seeing any visuals. So I got the rest out the fridge and interestingly, before drinking it I felt the urge to heave, the knowledge of the taste to come was more pronounced. Everything was more impactful and pronounced and viscerally vivid. I drank half of the half I had left and retched right away. I wasn’t sure but I think I regurgitated some into the sink so I felt obliged to drink a bit more. I felt compelled at this stage, a deeper sense of feeling compelled than just sensibility and rationale, to drink more. Like I was being guided to do so.

I could start to see the orange hue that filtered my vision, everything had this warmth and energy to it. Pure energy. It got me thinking why is it that people tend to see this orange hue. And I thought, its because orange is the colour of exact energy. Like fire. Like the sun. It must be within us all, the light or sun of existence.

Very shortly after that second dose the visuals kicked in. I felt a certain buss and ringing from my frontal lobe. And I could see the classic geometric shapes, everywhere. The kind I see in classic psychedelic art and culture. I was looking at my self in the mirror and my skin became somewhat transparent and elastic and this pattern was all over my skin like a tattoo. Made me think It would be a nice tattoo to get. At first it made me feel a bit sea-sick, I was rocking back and forth left and right and I had to go sit down because I was on the verge of vomiting again. Whilst looking in the mirror I felt like, as a result of my skins being elastic and geo-metric, lizard like.

Its worth saying, the rocking left and right was a theme that recurred whenever I sat down or at times stood up on the spot with my eyes closed. A very subtle sometimes undetectable (until I do) sway would overcome me.

Lying down my body felt like a ball of goo. My legs my chest my entire body was warm and tingly and as I closed my eyes in what was reminiscent of an MDMA-like eye roll, only in the way it felt so nice to close the eyes, I began to see a vortex of visuals the only way to describe was I was literally looking through a kaleidoscope. I know its been said before but I've just said it again. It was a tunnel of moving, revolving, fragmenting triangles, and hexagons and yeah all things kaleidoscope.

Everywhere I looked I recognised faces, the ceiling was moving in liquid rivulets, the walls in delicate wavelets. I could see eyes and noses and figures in the shadows around me. The contours of my bed sheets, my furniture, my clothes, my environment became magnificently loud.

I opened the back door and stared at the bush for a while and stroked the leaves, in a way that felt emotionally like stroking a cat or a dog, I recognised the indifference between life-forms and had a deep and caring appreciation for it.

At this point I closed my eyes whilst staring out the back door and could, in my minds eye, but my minds eye and my real eye were losing their differences and merging into one, I could see everything still. Despite my eyes being closed. Like again, my skin was transparent. I was looking at the world with my eyes closed and seeing everything.

I oscillated between various states of consciousness. At some points when I stopped to look at any one thing, like a wall, the visuals would kick in and sometimes it’d make me feel a bit sea-sick again, then I would walk around and the visuals would somewhat subside as I engaged with a sense of love and understanding with everything. It got to a point where the visuals were reduced and I felt like I was sobering up. So I went out for a walk….

I am in the UK and it rarely shines. We’re aren’t all to used to searing heat. But the temperature was about 28degrees celsius today. As I was walking toward the local park, I felt a floaty lightness and blissful contentedness, and I felt like I was 5 years old again, going to the park with my parents or friends or whatever. That blissful, youthful, not a care in the world age, well it felt like that.

In the park, I had no objective, whereas before, I would walk around and be somewhat self-conscious, if I was walking past people I would have to be walking somewhere, well this time I just was. I was just present in the park, in the community, in the sunshine, understanding everything and feeling ‘free’. I must have walked up and down a short part of the small field a few times taking everything in, basking in the warm orange-ness of the summer breeze, and then I eventually laid down.

At this stage I had thought the visuals were over but as I lay in the direct heat I observed the shapes and melting contours of reality come back into play, I moved in a ‘in-being’ way, zero-self-consciousness, I rolled around the grass, and felt the blades on my hands. It made me empathise with the playfulness of kittens and puppies cats and dogs, the way I moved reminded me of the way I see them move and wonder about their inner state of being. Maybe I had gotten a step closer to knowing it.

I eventually got a bit hungry and left for the flat to get some food. I was in a happy state to dance with wherever the wind took me, one minute I felt like continuing the walk, then another felt like food was a good idea, then walk again, then I eventually went for food. But it wasn’t uncomfortable it was cool. I didn’t care. This is cosmic, this is flow.

I got back. And its worth saying my vision was 20/20, my eyes became macro lenses, and I was hyper-zoomed in on everything and anything I stopped to look at. It was effortless. I ate some bread and looked at I began to see so much more than I ever thought I could see in a slice of white Hovis bread. Its like when you look at food through a microscope if you ever have. I make that comparison as I once saw an image of a chicken nugget under the microscope and it looked different. The bread looked just like that. I kept staring in wonder and then noticed these little red spots all over the bread, I though I had tapped into a new sense of seeing things I could never usually see, and in a way, I guess I did. Still don’t know what those little red spots are but having looked at the bread again, they are still there just not as prominent. Probably a very reasonable explanation for they’re existence.

As I ate the bread, I could feel it travel down my throat and into my gut and begin digesting, it felt incredible. And it was at this point that I had the classic realisation that my body is a vessel. I looked at it, down at my stomach, and realised one day this will fail, and my spirit is somehow separate. It was a bewildering feeling to behold. And naturally, it tried to escape me. Perhaps a result of the ego not knowing how to react. But I was happy to let everything come and go as it desired.

I ate my food and went to lie down again. I had momentary and loose ideas of what I wanted to do, go for a walk, lie down, eat more, unlike before where my mind would try to religiously control what I do, all these little impulses came and went were acted upon or not, with a stoical acceptance of ‘whatever’. I just did.

I looked at a £50 note I had and the absurdity of money hit me. It felt so devalued and unimportant. Obviously in the world we live in, money plays a very important role. But this reminded me just how symbolic it is. I felt totally detached from it and above it. Although these things are things we ‘know’ I really ‘felt’ it. And got it.

At one point I was on my bed, on my knees, with my fists clenched and felt like a gorilla. It was stupid and I don’t know how I got in that position but it felt fascinatingly and connecting to nature.

I lay back down on the bed and closed my eyes. My lids felt heavy like shot shutter, a shop shutter made of heavy cushions, I witness people, geo-shapes, and ‘contours’ of bodies and whatnot fly through my consciousness like a released flock of doves. Things got a bit sexual. I could see, and when I say see, it was more than just ‘see’ I could really seee them as in it all had more meaning, I could feel it. It wasn’t hindered by a need of my ego to rationalise or fit into a certain self-standard, or box of any kind, it was just pure, cosmic energy allowed to be free. And it felt great. Carried away by the moment and the heightened animalistic temperaments and passions I had to attend to certain taboo subjects.

Shortly after that the effects began to slow down and wear off to a more sober level. I felt slightly on edge and nail-bitey and unrelaxed toward the terminus of the trip for only a short-time but I think I know why that is and I think it is avoidable in the future. That slowly wore off and I had a shower and bath and drank a protein shake as I've been exercising lately.

All in the all the experience was a great learning curve, I only had a small dose and don’t ‘feel’ like I had a true breakthrough or ego-death like I am looking for and I guess if I have to ask then I didn’t! But I'm much more prepared for my next trip now.

Its hard to put the direct benefits of this into a digestible sentence that the critical scientific minds out there can compute and make rational sense of. Maybe in fact, its impossible to do that. The benefit is in the pure experience of it, whatever that experience is. The benefit is in the egoless, selfless, magic of life that I was reminded of, without mercy. And that is a biological and spiritual reset. Its beautiful. It activated a certain playful magic within and everything sprung to life.

What more can be said. All experiences are full of individual, idiosyncratic traits but there seems to be commonalities between them all.

DMT is the molecule of life.

Health and Wealth
The Rogue Millennial.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110670
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Dec 18, 2017	Views: 1,822
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Huasca Combo (269), Psychotria viridis (170), Banisteriopsis caapi (169) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Alone (16)