Citation: Fightrer365. "Condemned to Hell Heaven's Gate Closed: An Experience with Syrian Rue & Mushrooms (exp110981)". Erowid.org. Sep 20, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110981
Experienced User of Mushrooms and Psychedelics
Was not ready for the mental shattering and Mitochondrial Fractal DNA exploration through the depths of hell I went though. This to me was not considered a bad trip, there are no such things as bad trips as everything happens for a reason.
Ingest Syrian rue and began the Shroom Tea Mixture. I first break the shrooms with a Mortar And Pestle then proceed to triple brew it pouring hot-water and smashing the pulp in a screen. I do 30 mins, 15 mins, 10 mins with repeated stirring.
I was licking the screen between brews and I noticed it was starting to come on super hard and knew I was in for something really intense, I was excited and ready to explore my inner self; having no feelings of darkness yet.
+2:00 - Full Trip
Hardcore Tripping now. I had music on but had to turn it off and go into Prostration. I felt intense darkness surround me. I was taken to a fractal hell and was speaking to a very pixilated entity
I was taken to a fractal hell and was speaking to a very pixilated entity
and it felt like utter dread. It looked like the faces of a totem pole. I had my eyes closed the whole time and it was examining a lot of my life choices and things didn't look very good. It was a very negative experience and it all boiled down to it telling me the Gates to Heaven are forever closed for me. It was as if all my life force was being examined in a single instance. I asked him why and he showed me a super black chasm, it was a pool of all the wrong I committed in my life and I had my spirit chained and hanging over the blackest of black I have ever remember. I kept thinking I was in Bowers Castle surrounded by fractal demons.
+3:00 - Full Trip
I then started to cry a lot, my heart was broken into pieces and I felt the world imploding around me. I really wanted the trip to end and then all these motorcycles started whizzing past my house so I got up and looked outside my window. I thought Satan was getting ready to harvest and relinquish my sins for the moron who kills me. I noticed sun was a brilliant emerald eye, it looked like Spectrolite and I thought about Leo and how we are to never give up hope and I felt something dawn on me.
+3:30 - Full Trip
I felt invigorated to tackle what was lying in front of me. I knew I wasn't doomed to the lake of fire like this thing was telling me lies and trying to fool me so I went back into Prostration and started to pray and prayed like I have never done so before with tears and the relinquishment of immorality in my heart.
+4:00 - Full Trip
My brother then came into my room and we started to combine our energies, he said he was going though hell and I told him I was too and we stayed together for the rest of the trip. He ended up finding out he may have been molested as babies and was feeling all kinds of pain. We both agreed we saw a lot of metal twisting and hellish looking fractals so we decided to pull together to tackle what was assaulting us spiritually.
+5:00 - Starting to Lower in Intensity
My brother and I move downstairs and sit together and start talking about what we are experiencing in a more detailed more coherent matter. I can barely keep my head up and he runs to the bathroom to puke a few times. I started to get really sweaty and feel extremely hot, so I grab some water and lay with my eyes closed. While trying to listen to him speaking vivid images in my mind playing though exploring all the memories within it.
+8:00 (11:40pm) - Trip complete
Trip is pretty much receding into nothing and my Body has almost fully metabolized all the alkaloids and I can start to feel a slight headache coming on. The Syrian rue tends to hurt my brain a bit. I'm very sensitive towards it and I try not to take too much. I have read it's the Harmala alkaloid that causes this and would like to look into it Further.
I'm writing this the day after my trip and I still feel heartache. I may have given up a side of me that needed to die lest I die too, like a shedding of a cursed shell. I am a spiritual being and I do believe there is a God and whatever happened to me on this trip was shattering to my core. This one will take a little bit to digest and I'm blessed to have time and energy to do so. I have never had a trip like this and the way I was shot straight into a void fractal hell was as if was being abducted and mentally raped; but for some odd reason it was totally necessary and I feel humbled.
Blessings to all, happy tripping.
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