DOSE:

3.5 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

I just would like to write a quick report up on the worst trip of my entire life. This trip sort of ruined my life for about 2 solid years, and it wasn't necessarily the shrooms. I guess I'll start off by saying I'm fairly experienced with magic mushrooms and have had upward to about 10-15 trips in my life up that point. I had this friend who I considered my best of friends, him and I embarked on lots of beautiful and interesting trips prior to this one. We had even eaten the 'heroic' 5 dried grams together without the slightest of issues.

Now during this period I was experimenting with mdma and cocaine more than I ever had in my entire life. Those substances opened me up to an extremely depressing and painful time of my life, I felt incredibly inadequate and was using them to self destruct. I had just gotten out of the longest and most real relationship that lasted about 2 years. Shortly after, I was seeing another girl that I was really falling for. She was the apple to my eye and I was starting to love everything about her. As time went on she seemed to be losing interest in me and would talk about other guys she was seeing, up to that point everything seemed to be going smoothly and we had our first kiss around the time. So to say the least, I was really depressed.

I remember in this time frame, I was introduced to high quality cocaine, and found Molly. At first I felt as if everything would be fine as long as I had a connection to that sweet powder. It was as if I didn't feel so lonely anymore and started using about a gram or more every weekend. I actually remember telling myself on my way home after I had scored a g that if this girl didn't like me, cocaine would be my new girlfriend. At this time I was suicidal, I had taken some extremely large doses of mdma in short amount of time and was feeling quit lost. I had really lost my inhibitions and was very experimental due to the fact that I felt like I wouldn't be around much longer. I was testing my waters with my family, my friends, my health, and more importantly my sexuality. I was basically throwing my life away and my family and friends knew it. I felt like I'd try anything everything at least once so that I could find myself.

Fast forward to the trip. My friend and I decided it had been long enough since our last trip and we wanted to eat an 8th together again. He had known about my destructive behavior with these substances and gave me a real hard time about using them. He knew it wasn't like me to hate myself like that. We decided it'd be a good idea to trip in the forest this time and we were both extremely excited. We get to the campsite and set everything up. There were plenty of good vibes and anticipation that entire day. I hadn't even considered what could possibly go wrong and wasn't even thinking about my insecurities. Dawn rolled by and we decided to eat our mushrooms. It was only an 8th so we just expected to have a decent but not too overwhelming trip, being the experienced trippers we were. Down the hatch they went and off we were to the worst trip one could imagine.

At first everything seemed to be going alright. The shrooms didn't seem to have the best quality compared to our prior trips, we had gotten these ones from a new dealer. There were little fits of laughter but it was mostly just discomforting vibes. There didn't seem to be a lot of euphoria or color to this trip. If any at all. I remember I was sitting on the ground on a blanket, we had forgotten to bring chairs. And before I knew it, there were hundreds of fat nasty looking spiders crawling all over it and on me. I flipped the fuck out and got up real fast asking my friend if he saw them too. He did. He stood there absolutely shocked in complete disbelief. At that point all that was going through our minds was bad trip. We stood there staring for about 5 solid minutes going back and forth trying to figure out if they were real or not, turns out they were. And I guess they were attracted to the fire. So we decide to get in my car and just wait the trip out in there.

We decide to smoke some weed to calm ourselves down. The only problem now was that my bubbler was clogged. My friend had said something along the lines of 'we need to find something to shove down that tiny hole' And it immediately triggered something in my brain. Now keep in mind I wasn't in the best frame of mind because of the harder drugs I was using, I had done a gram of coke the night before. Since we were so close and could basically read each other's minds we were so close, he saw some tinge of fear and paranoia in my eye when he said that phrase.

I honestly couldn't help what had happened to me. I wasn't able to play it off, I wasn't able to laugh at it, I wasn't able to defend myself in this vulnerable state. I felt as if I was wearing the inside out and I couldn't control it for the life of me. In an instant, once he 'found out' my entire world came crashing down on my head all in one moment. Something broke inside me. Intense fear, intense anxiety, intense feelings gripped my mind. And I couldn't help myself. Now, the rest of the trip is kind of a fog because I think my mind tried to protect itself. From what I remember, the rest of the trip was my best friend fucking with me in every little way he could possibly think of. I tried and tried and tried my very best to work my way out of it but he manipulated everything I tried against me. I had lost my mind. And now my once best friend who I thought I could rely on for anything turned into a demon. Everything I did was futile because I already knew he couldn't help himself to keep this between him and I. It was a night full of dark references all about me. It was the single most painful and traumatizing experience I've ever had to endure. I'm honestly happy I'm alive after it. It was deeper than hell. I fucking loved this dude and now I had no choice but to hate him. Something in my mind physically changed that night.

The trip eventually came to an end and the next morning was spent in mostly silence. Nothing in my life could've prepared me for what I went through. There was maybe a sliver of hope left in me, and I decided not to just end my friendship with him. I could've easily accepted my fate and ran away from it all. But that would've meant I had to leave all my friends behind. I knew in my heart the whole time that he was wrong about me and wasn't about to succumb to his deceits. I was hoping to god for the next couple weeks after that he would be openminded and kind enough to let it go and not expose me to my entire friend group. I guess it was a longshot but he definitely told everyone.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 111697
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jun 30, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Nature / Outdoors (23), Depression (15), Post Trip Problems (8), Relationships (44), Small Group (2-9) (17)