DOSE:

Mushrooms

BODY WEIGHT:

190 lb

Went From 0 Experience to Full on Ego Death

Setting and dose:

We were camping at one beach in my country, not crowded at all, we were basically my friends and me. I ate 2 hours into their trip, and there was a sober friend. I completely acknowledge that this kind of substance in this kind of dose can really really go bad, because I had no control of what was bombing my mind at all, even when I had done enough research before I ate it. The dose is unknown and will remain like that my whole life, which was definitely irresponsible.

The experience:

Best experience of my life.

I can't just say everything was good, I had a ton of time where everything was confusion, I had fear, I experienced the worst fear I have had in my life. But at some point on the trip I accepted everything.

At some point when it started hitting and were I would go to different 'movies' that were projected directly into my sight, which at those points wasn't looking at reality. I accepted that I was a complete ignorant, not only of the crazy shit that was being on a trip, but about a ton of aspects on my life, and that I take it as a teaching.

Up until I accepted that I was an ignorant, and really accepted it as something that didn't make me any less than the others, which is when I started happily telling my friends that 'everything was pure shit', 'nothing really matters'. At that point I had accepted that all that was importance was existence, it was the only true, I was there on a small piece of land with 5 other entities just like me, because at that point I didn't have a body, my body didn't matter at all , I would look at it in such a funny way like something that was there and was mine, but I didn't have respect for. I thought 'What if I kill myself¿' and that didn't have a meaning because, time didn't exists, I was trapped in that state forever, if I'd kill myself, I would just continue on in that state after my body died. Money was meaningless, I would grab my phone and throw it around the sand. Sexual morbo wasn't part of that state either, when I had control I asked if I had been nude at some point because It just didn't matter to me. My friends were trying to get me to see the stars, which were amazing, one could see the galaxy at naked eye. But I felt the worst fear of my life, I wanted to run away, I wanted to cry, they meant to me that whole bunch of stuff that I can't understand and that I've felt fear for during my whole life.

That was much of the time I was learning a lot of stuff. Then comes the time where I am reconstructing myself, my body was still meaningless, and the picture of that guy I was seemed to be so far away from what I was at that time, but my friends would say something about me, who I was and I would have flash backs, I would have like photos of how I look go through my brain, and I was accepting that was me but It felt so distant. Then at some point I learned to reason, to make a conclusion, because all the time on the trip thoughts would just come at me, I wasn't reasoning at all, and just slowly felt myself coming back. But that only happened completely the next day when I woke up.

During that whole trip everything was in symbols to me, nothing of course is as clear as I have pictured on what I may have learned. Emotions were 1000 times greater, I felt empathy as I have never had, I felt love for my friends as I never did. The trees had life, there was one judging me, another that was too ugly. I would see the face of one friend turn a bit into a demon. I would see my body stretch into a super thin being with a friend being massive in front of my feet. I would see a friend dancing and a whole of tracers as he moved. Colors were amazing. I would go again into places that I cannot describe. I would associate temperature with some friends, one was warm and the other one was cold, I grabbed my warm friend with my hands and it felt so nice, if the other tried to touch me I would slur him about how cold he was. The tastes of stuff was so odd too.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112162
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Aug 7, 2018	Views: 1,149
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