Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Michael. "Great First Trip / Crazy Return: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp112212)". Erowid.org. Feb 1, 2019. erowid.org/exp/112212
This is my first trip report as well as my first “trip” on magic mushrooms. Leading up to this trip I tried to do everything right as my last attempt with 1.8 grams did not result in the experience that I had hoped for. That time I had failed to provide the best set and setting, rushed into it, had eaten shortly beforehand and only started with 0.5 grams due to being nervous. I ended up eating 1.8 grams total but nothing was right and I ended up laying in bed frustrated and trying too desperately to see something, anything really, and I quickly regretted wasting those mushrooms. Being a new business owner, I have been hyper focused on expanding my mind and being on my best A game. I really wanted a trip that would help me to see my path better and to kind of clean out the old cob webs that had been weighing me down lately.
So, this time I prepared myself the best I could. I quit using nicotine, quit drinking alcohol, switched to an all meat and greens diet and hardly drank coffee. I also began taking a daily Lion’s Mane supplement which has really helped with mental clarity. Trying to be the best version of myself seems to be a very high priority right now and man did all of this preparation pay off! I had planned the evening with my wife and she would be my sitter. Finally, I was ready to go.
That evening, I took out and weighed 2.45 grams of Golden Teacher mushrooms and simply ate them all at once. In my preparation, I had mentally decided to not expect anything from this trip. I wanted to simply ride whatever roller coaster the psilocybin was going to take me on. I was just a passenger willing to see or learn whatever could be offered. Trust and surrender!
I took this dose at about 6:25 p.m. By 6:39, my face was tingling and my feet were sweaty. This diaphoresis would be something of a constant throughout the rest of my night. My wife was attempting to pick out a movie for my daughter when she turned around and immediately knew I was riding some sort of wave. The paintings of old German towns above her on the wall were now completely alive with people walking in them like watching a scene from a movie. This was the first time I had ever seen anything like that! I told her I was going to lay down and listen to some music. I should mention now as some of my visuals to come seems dark or depressing that I never had a moment of anxiety or sadness or worry through everything I experienced.
I never had a moment of anxiety or sadness or worry through everything I experienced.
The only negative feelings were that of guilt for being so selfish and mentally checking out from my family. This was obviously silly and I quickly overcame the doubt of what I was doing.
As I laid on my bed and let my music play, I suddenly saw a few long blue hairs reaching down towards my face. They got very close and soon, I could actually feel them on my face. These hairs grew thick and dark. They became the blackest color I have ever seen and took the resemblance of tentacles and they were still getting closer, I was being “eaten” by some large black octopus thing. Seeing how this was getting dark I merely accepted it and moved closer to let it consume me. I remember thinking,” I am here to learn whatever I need so show me what you want”. I quickly was in a place full of faces and rooms. I was intrigued but then wanted to see my own face. I was able to turn and look into my own space. The face I saw however was not mine, it was my wife’s. Clear as day and it was clear at this point that my wife and I shared some part of our soul. I know that sounds corny but we are very close and it makes perfect sense to me. Suddenly her face started to cry and I was not in my head any more but at my own funeral staring at my wife’s face as she was being hugged by the people that came. I felt very happy that I now knew that no matter what, as long as my wife was receiving love from somewhere that I would be part of it even after death. Again, this part seems morbid but it was not. After accepting this I was hurled through all sorts of places and saw many things. I watched as the first two cells split for the first time and how later this conscience like thing actually built the human mind from all sorts of things to give itself maybe a structure…. Or purpose. Anyways, it was unclear whether this was the universe’s first cells or my own but it was clear that they were both the same thing and so it was worthless to try to tell which it was. I was meant to watch, not think. And although I cried like a baby throughout this entire adventure, I never felt sad, just supreme love.
I woke up briefly because I realized I had to pee. My wife had to help me to the bathroom as my legs were wobbly. After peeing I, came back into the living room where my daughter had messed up the remote and there was a code I had to put in. This was immensely difficult. I learned that while visiting the far reaches of the universe, I was relatively useless in this physical world. But alas, I fixed it and shuffled my limp like body back to my bed.
I was transported to this place that seemed to be another world. A world made mostly of shallow water. Metal looking blade like parts were flowing in and out of it like fan blades but it seemed obvious that they were part of something much more larger and complex underneath the unwaving water. Later, after several other adventures that I’m not sure I can completely understand or describe, I sat up and decided I was hungry. My daughter was now in the kitchen and so I asked her to bring me an orange as I was feeling more normal now and able to be somewhat social. I asked her to peel it for me and this little being in my house with her tiny squirrel like hands was happily peeling an orange for me. This again brought tears to my eyes. After she left the room I looked around and noticed that my house was very psychedelic and trippy. I was amazed by all the colors and moving patterns. My blankets were clouds with little machines running through them. My wood floors and dresser had become a rave party of moving lines and designs. It was beautiful. I looked at the orange in my hands and I suddenly had the hands of an ape. I was holding these orange pieces and then I saw a memory of me as the ape kind of roaming around and eating various things. Now, as the ape I remembered that I had eaten some mushrooms although the ape me did not know they were called mushrooms. I was fully engulfed in the fact that I was this ape, learning how to process thoughts. The orange, now split into two halves with one being bigger than the other, turned into two brains. I understood without any question that I was seeing how the small brain was one from before and the larger brain represented a growth that I was now feeling in my own head. I learned as an ape what learning was and what it meant to comprehend thoughts with meaning and purpose. And then my room bursts into a million colors and crazy patterns and I was totally stoned looking staring at all of them and then all at once like a light switch, everything was gone. Not in a bad way but completely gone and at the perfect time I suppose.
Not two minutes later, as I was literally telling my wife how this turned out to be the perfect trip, my daughter began running through the house making this crazy noise. I thought I was back to tripping again but then realized she was choking on a piece of candy she had grabbed (This is exactly why it is important to have a sitter…. this gets crazy and I am glad my wife was there. I do not recommend that people with kids trip around their kids or at least there needs to be a sober responsible adult there). My wife got the candy out and we all had to kind of breathe for a minute. What a way back… and then the neighbor texted to let us know there was a tornado watch for our area. Then the storm started. Our older two daughters were out to a movie with some friends and we were expecting them back soon but now with the sky lit by lightening, wind blowing rapidly and rain coming in from seemingly every direction, we were worried about them driving, which wasn’t helping me much. Shortly after it started, the storm calmed and everything seemed to relax a bit. I went to grab a banana and almost ate it. I saw that this banana, once peeled, had streaks of red and purple in it. Thinking that I was seeing things again I confirmed with my wife what I was seeing. How’s that? After my first trip I find a tie-dyed banana! I didn’t eat it. Then we went outside to feed the dogs. The air was electric and cold. I could feel electricity in the back of my head and my neck hair was standing up. We live on top of a hill where you can see for miles and when storms pass or are on their way, we can watch them for sometimes hours. I watched one of the most beautiful lightening display I have ever seen and yet somehow felt as if I had just been flying through it. We opened the lid to the dog food, we found a chicken in there…. With an egg. I couldn’t make this up, that was my return from the far reaches of the universe…
Once back inside I was able to enjoy an evening of delightful colors and patterns here and there. Sleeping that night was a waste of time. I was sweating so badly I felt as if I was in a pool of water. Didn’t toss and turn as I was comfortable but there was not much sleep to be had. The following morning, I felt amazing. Like my brain had been turbo charged. I will do a larger dose later as I am certain I could have handled more. But as of now, this seemed to have given me exactly what I needed. Also, I coined a new quote while laying in my sweat pool. “The reason we see black when we close our eyes is because we aren’t looking with our mind”.
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