DOSE:	7 g	oral	Mushrooms
	repeated	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

This is not a recent trip report as I have had at least 80+ trips since then. This was a very challenging experience. I was 21 at the time.

It's March break of 2016 and I want to try my first psychedelic experience, a week before this I tried 2 grams of cubes but I only got the giggles with no visuals or sensations in my body so I thought I needed more the next time. (I was ignorant, didn't research and I deserved what I got). I go out of town to pick up an ounce of shrooms and I didnt know what type of magic mushroom I had purchased, which I now know were blue meanies.

After a 3 hour drive I head home, I was staying with my sister and her boyfriend at the time because my girlfriend had kicked me out of the house. My mindset was to trip out and take my mind off of my breakup and my son who I now wasn't allowed to see until I went to court. I was such an IDIOT, how could I not do research beforehand, I had no respect for psychedelics back then.

I walked into the door and asked my sister and her boyfriend if they wanted to do shrooms, they said no. I sat on the couch and pulled out my scale, and weight out 7 grams of dried psilocybin mushrooms. I grabbed them all and just chewed them up in my mouth until it was gunk and swallowed, took about 10 minutes just to get it all down. It's about 2 pm in the afternoon.

T 0:00 - finally they are all down the hatch, I'm sitting on the couch talking to my sister and her boyfriend about doing mushrooms and they are gaining interest. We have a couple smokes together and pass the time, they head into their bedroom.

T 0:20 - I'm still on the couch, I'm starting to feel funny. My throat is feeling tight and my tongue feels like I have cat hair on it.

T: 0:30 - I'm looking at the hardwood floor, it's starting to flow around and I don't know where the actual grain itself is suppose to be. I look up towards the bathroom and the light is orange, it's giving a weird vibe. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed already, what have I done!?

T: 0:45 - I'm feeling suffocated, I'm starting to freak out a little bit. I need water, I haven't been drinking water! I get up and fill a glass of water and go back to the couch. I sit down and instantly start feeling waves of euphoria, nothing like I have ever felt before. It feels like I am making love to myself, the more I stay still the more the euphoria is coming on. I start feeling orgasmic rushes throughout my body, I'm really enjoying this! Right as I'm at the peak of this wonderful sensation my sister's boyfriend comes out of the bedroom. I feel awkward, almost as if I'm naked, I told him how I'm feeling and he thought it was hilarious. He sat at the kitchen table and smoked a cigarette and I joined him.

T 1:00 - We are talking and I'm explaining everything that's happening, I walked into my sister's room quickly to see how I felt in there, I seen the carpet. It had a few stains on it, the stains started to bleed and go all over the carpet and up the baseboards and I instantly started to freak out. My sisters boyfriend looked at me and said 'it's not that bad man'. I knew I couldn't handle this anymore, I decide to go sit outside and enjoy a smoke by myself to calm down. I open the door and make a loud singing noise and it pierces my ears like a voice from an angel. I'm confused and scared, why did I do that? Why did it sound like that?

T 1:15 - I walk out the door and sit on the front steps, I feel amazing but full of anxiety. The trees are waving at me, everything is so vibrant. The sky looks so beautiful! Wait, where's my water?!

T 1:25 - I go back inside and I can't find my cup of water. My sister and her boyfriend are in their room blasting music, my water is on their end table and I totally forgot it in there! (Not realizing there is a tap in the kitchen or bathroom) my throat dries up, I can barely swallow, I start kicking the door, 'PLEASE, HELP!' 10 minutes pass before they open the door, I run in to grab my water. I quench my awful thirst, I feel a little better.

T 1:40 - I am starting to yawn alot, I lay down on the couch because my eyes are heavy, shit is about to get real. Looking up at the ceiling it looks like rippling water, my eyes are slowly closing. I yawn one last time, wait a second, I have been yawning for like 30 seconds. I'm not yawning, I think I'm gasping for air! I'm dying, this is it. I'm freaking out and screaming, I open up my phone and go on tripsit.

T - 1:45 - The people on tripsit told me to calm down, I can't die on mushrooms. Just breathe, I will be okay. They are really distracting me from my anxiety, they ask me if I felt like I had to cry and if I was holding back any emotions, I said yes. They tell me to get off the phone and let all my emotions out, they all kept saying my ego was going to die. I said bye and got off my phone.

T - 2:00 - (after this I lost track of time) - my feelings feel hurt, my face scrunches up and I start to cry, I start to weep. I'm now sobbing, ouch. Why does this hurt so bad? I am screaming in pain. My son pops up in my head, but I forget what he looks like. I keep repeating 'I just want my babyboy', Is this real? Why am I saying this, why can't I see his face I don't understand. 'This isn't real, stop this', my sister comes out of her bedroom to calm me down. They have never done shrooms before and they don't understand what's going on. Neither do I, I pull out my phone and call my dad, no answer.

I call my ex (I forgot we had broken up, I just needed her to tell me everything was okay). She answered the phone and I started babbling, nobody could understand what I was saying anymore, she told me to fuck off and hung up the phone. I started screaming and crying even more. My sister is trying to calm me down but she keeps telling me I am not making sense. 'I'm going to jump in front of a bus' I jump up and make a run for the door, my sister locks the door. I was a broken record and I couldn't stop it, 'I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to jump in front of a bus'.

I feel pain in my arm and I start to have pain in my chest, I feel my heart and it's speeding up and stopping and starting again. Oh my god, I'm dying of a heart attack, I go to the bathroom and start throwing up, I fall onto my side and I start to die. I pull out my phone to call 911 but I don't know how to. My sister's boyfriend comes in the bathroom and holds my hand, I'm curled in a ball on the floor. I tell him to call 911, he does. He passes me the phone, I put it on speaker and place it on the tile floor. It went to voice mail, no fucking way, I'm dead, I'm dead.

Nobody can save me. I can't see anymore, I start seeing visions of my life, all bad memories. Everybody I hurt, all the bad things I did, I realized that I didn't do any drugs and I was just having memory problems, I am an 85 year old man dying of a heart attack. I think I have memory problems and I convinced myself I wasn't on drugs. I regret everything, the way I treated my ex, not spending enough time with my child. All the hard drugs I have done and the life I had loathed in carelessly. I hear laughter, the whole world is laughing at me, I deserve this. This is all my fault, I am a horrible person, this pain is what I deserve.

I feel as though my soul is being harvested by the devil, I want more pain. This is what I deserve. My sister's boyfriend manages to get 911 on the phone finally and puts it on speaker. Fire, police or ambulance? 'I'm dying, I deserve to die, I'm having a heart attack'. My sister's boyfriend explains what's going on and then passes the phone back, I feel like the world is laughing at me. The operator asks me what I'm feeling but I keep reliving my horrible memories and all of my regrets.

I tell the operator that if I die to tell everyone I'm sorry. He said the ambulance was on the way but I knew, I knew deep down he wanted me to die because he seen all of the wrong I have done. He wasn't sending an ambulance. Why am I still dying, is this what death is? I'm stuck in time forever, to see and feel the pain I caused others in this world. I have no good memories, this is what hell is. I'm going to feel the pain I caused for eternity. I got a sudden burst of energy and jumped up and ran towards the couch, I pulled my pants down and ran around screaming (so fucking embarrassing).

The paramedics walk in the door and immediately start to aid me, they are going to kidnap me and kill me, I know it. 'Please don't kill me'. My sister pulls one of the paramedics aside and tells them I'm trying to kill myself. They grab me by the arms and start to walk me out the door. They force me onto a stretcher and start to strap me in, 'please don't kill me, STOP!' they put me in the back of the ambulance. I finally focus on the paramedics face (he has a burn scar across his whole face) he wasn't real, He is an alien with someone's face on his own, they are abducting me.

I was strapped down, I couldn't move, he pulled out a temperature gun (you aim it at the head to take someone's temperature quickly) I thought it was some type of alien weaponry. He aims it in my face, it beeps. I feel pain in my head, I think my brain is melting! 'Please no'. I started calming down, I'm sleepy, I close my eyes and went unconscious.

I wake up in the hospital in a hallway. I look around and I'm no longer tripping, what the fuck just happened to me?! They psych evaluated me and released me. I walk home and go to bed.

It took me this long to fully understand what happened to me that day, it changed my life. I moved on from my previous relationship and I am now engaged. I quit smoking Crack and I no longer drink alcohol, I have a newborn daughter with my fiance and I couldn't be more proud to be where I am today. I am thankful I was as irresponsible as I was to do what I did. It changed my life.

This is my first report, I did my best, I hope you all enjoyed reading!

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 112293
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Sep 30, 2022	Views: 249
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