Citation: Luke. "And the Cycle Would Begin Anew: An Experience with Mushroom (exp113076)". Erowid.org. Jun 6, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113076
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Older Couple's First Trip with Neuropathy Warning
Someone close to my wife and me uses mushroom to successfully control depression, and being generally curious, we previously tested tolerance with a light dose, I’m guessing less than a gram, with generally good effects; I had warm feeling with mild behind the eye abstract patterns, and generally sleepy warm feelings, but not much else. There was some warning in this first experiment in that I have some peripheral neuropathy with tingling and an occasional burning itch in one hand and in my feet, and this seemed to aggravate that a little. Neither of us had used recreational drugs previously, and are non-smokers and non-drinkers.
We determined to obtain a heroic dose (about 7 dry grams – ¼ oz – each) to discover what the magic of a real trip would bring. We prepared, ensuring we ate all healthy food for several days, hydrated, and took a magnesium citrate supplement as we heard that may have a beneficial effect.
The mushrooms were chopped and shredded into two peanut-butter and spice balls about the size of golf balls, which went down without too much trouble, with a little water right at 4:00 PM. We joked that they had all the appearance and appetizing appeal of a small horse turd, and how we now understood the appeal of making an extract instead of just eating the things. We took a short walk, about 20 minutes, until the first effects started to be felt, then retired to the bed, she with her head on my chest, and told Google Home to play classical music.
The trip began pleasantly and very rapidly with a little warm cuddling, nothing overtly sexual or verbal, and I think that even though I felt aware enough at times, there just wasn’t really enough enduring coherence in that awareness to talk. I slept for a little while and my wife says she started laughing. I spent some time on my side with my arm over her chest with her on her back. I could see her breasts and somehow that was terribly important and as a certain sequence in the music played I tried to make a word to describe being there with her like that, and it came out something like cream and gems of power (I know, Wheel of Time, and my wife says I was mumbling). I wondered if it was important to see more of her, if I should, but she didn’t want me to move or touch her anywhere. I also remember licking her forehead to taste her, and she says I looked really weird.
Then, troubles began as neuropathic itching and burning in my feet and legs (and left hand fingers)
troubles began as neuropathic itching and burning in my feet and legs (and left hand fingers)
became at times excruciating and nausea set in. And Google played the same music repetitively to horrible effect – I have no idea how many repeats there were, but it felt as though epochs of time passed with the same cycle repeating over and over and in each cycle I was part of the universe performing multitudes of calculations of how our interaction could be improved, to no effect. We had returned to the position of her resting on my chest with one arm over my chest for most of these ‘cycles’. My wife felt like an entity that I couldn’t really understand and I tried to calculate changes that would alter our interaction but none of the calculations and changes in any of the cycles made an improvement and I concluded there were none that could. The music starting to repeat would bring about a lucid kind of moment where I felt a need to check how my wife was doing and communicate that the pattern, or cycle, was about to repeat and ask if she wanted it to – and I don’t remember her responses being any more than it was ok. I would rub my hand over her arm, rub or tap her back, move the position of her arm a little, try to wave my hand in time with the music, and hum the start of the music pattern (she says I sounded like I was doing whale song and it made her laugh) and the cycle would begin anew.
I remember my wife leaving to walk around the room around 6:30, and going to use the restroom for what was likely a brief time but seemed like a vast amount of time before returning. She was frustrated with the duration of the trip and was unstable walking and said she felt like she was really heavy and weighed 400 pounds. She became full of anxiety and stress, and after returning to bed experienced a vision of a tiger and stripes on the ceiling and seemingly a lot of fear of the tiger. She said I became the tiger and wanted me to move away. I told her to become the tiger so she wouldn’t fear it. I remember telling her to attack me as if she were the tiger, thinking that by embracing being the tiger, she could feel more active and less stressed but she insisted that made her anxiety worse. We stood and tried to dance for a minute without that helping, then she got back into bed and I sat on the edge by her for some time.
I didn’t want to get back in bed, it was too miserable. By this time we were becoming a little more lucid; she went to the restroom again and I followed to the door, saying I didn’t feel I should let her go alone. When she returned to bed, I sat on the edge of the bathtub, where I could see her in bed, and I felt pretty comfortable. I think this started about 8:30 PM.
During this time on the edge of the tub, I had an odd dream or ‘vision’ of myself as an abstract entity made of black and white blocks with muscle and sinew diagrammed in the blocks and that I should be proud of how strong and powerful I had made myself, but that in life all of that power was now directed to suppressing pain and supporting the frailty of my aging self, and that the inevitable outcome was that this would consume me and I would end, it is just a matter of how long the struggle will be.
As the trip was mostly over a little after 9:00 PM, we left the bedroom and went downstairs and drank a little V8 juice, then walked around the house until we started feeling better. We were silly as I led her by the hand and we laughed about playing chuga-chuga-cho-cho and looking like we had lost it (walking in a slouched over stance, I have no idea why). By about 10:00 PM we were sitting in the two living room recliners. My wife had a dream of flowing blood and a skull that turned to dust and started crying. We then started talking and my wife described that and a couple of lucid dreams or visions she had years ago, that were interesting but I couldn’t figure out what I should take from them as meaning. It was pleasant to talk openly and personally for a time. A little after midnight we went to bed and slept.
This morning, there is a fairly strong backdrop of remembering, but no hangover or negative physical effects. If there is a next time, it will be a recreational dose and I hope an extract so I don’t have to eat that horrible tasting stuff and can hopefully avoid the nausea. I think we both want to do this again though.
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