DOSE:		oral	Mushrooms	(edible / food)
		oral	Chocolate
		smoked	Cannabis	(flowers)

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

Trip Report May 2018 Holland

It was the night before in which I decided, to plan to go to Groningen about a 3 hour bus trip from CitY. I had been planning to trip alone for a while and by planning I mean knew I wanted to. Having known I had the possibility to travel to a nearby city for a few days I had a few recommendations about Groningen, the closest big city in Holland from northern Germany. Me being me I was extra cautious and got to the bus stop earlier than necessary to prevent missing it in case of who knows what. Of course the bus was late.

I arrived in Groningen at about 1pm, and made my way to the centre where I found a marvellous book store exceeding preceding findings. From there I found my way to the hostel I was staying. Checking in, including some breakfast to the bill, organising what I will and won’t need for the following journey. I made my way to the destination of purchase, the smart shop. Arriving at the allocated address, it was an older reference. Someone else was at the building location. Eventually after asking around I found one. Two actually, next to each other. Into the first one I went, and it was a bit more expensive than the second. And had also only fresh truffles. I wanted shrooms, dried. After some friendly conversing, I was able to get the best they had, dried shrooms shredded into a fine mix with chocolate and sold as a bar. That way the police can’t tell the difference and they don’t get caught for nothing. The dude said from the 5 pieces on the bar only have 1-2/5. I had 4. I started munching on it when I reached the city park, which stretched around the inner west outskirts to the north part of the centre. It was very busy but also quite quiet. I found my spot.

In a big space with not many inhabitants, I spotted three trees, all within the same proximity from each other. I saw contentedly in the middle awaiting the blissful followings knowing I had found a safe space. And a shock it was. I had the feeling of knowing it was coming on. I constructed my rucksack comfortably and made my way down. I was comfortable. During many times of back and forth of mind utterance and silence, and me successfully blaming the flies and mosquitos of this, I was conscious it was there. At time it was a closed eye visual, and others an opened eye. Being in the centre of three trees I had the pleasure of seeing purely nature above me. What seem centred to my vision, was a branch lowered enough to be seen centred directly above me. I kept my gaze upon it, and it took me with it as my eyes would my mouth would I be reading.

I had the feeling I was seeing another language. Not reading. Not hearing or listening. It was one of the calmest feelings I could recall to the time of happening. My eyes began to close and I was pulled gently into a visual trance compiling of scenes playing before my eyes except I was in the scene and was able to look at what I wanted. However, I became distracted but didn’t want to take my attention away, and therefore couldn’t look around in the nice visualisation I was having. I suddenly became aware of everything around me. I could see the cars going by in my mind, although they weren’t cars. It's as if they were sound frequencies becoming alive in my mind. I could feel the trees and see the water. The bugs were still bugging me. Some people sat down by one of the trees and it seemed every time I opened my eyes they were looking at me. After long self discussion and wondering whether I should stay or get up, I got my things and made my way. The whole process seemed longer than it had to be.

As I was walking through the park I started to find and feel a euphoric feeling of self solitude. Talking to myself but not conversing in the mind, but more so like a loud whisper, discerning between mind chatter and meaningful conversation. Completely unaware of the surroundings, and people, I almost walked into a dog fight which everyone seemed to have kept clear of apart from the 'owners'. Carefully treading around a runner ran straight through them, keeping clear to his path. This seemed to distract the dogs, as they were unexacting an act of this kind, and made me realise the first signal of beauty, the runner, of what it meant to stick to what you do. On I went.

Here my memory is a bit fluffled. I continued walking in no desired direction but just for the mere joy of not having to go anywhere. I could tell it was coming to an outsmarting area of town. I took a left after trying to see where I was with my phone of no internet or simcard. The conversation I was having with myself hadn’t ended, but oppositely it was getting slowly more indent and ever more so intriguing as to what I was conversing about. I came to the point of needing a self confirmation. After asking, 'is that it?' I heard a 'Yes.' I continued with Thank you. And what followed was You’re Welcome. I stayed in the shock of this phenomena for seconds, and past me flew a lady on a bicycle, speaking on the phone in the same voice. It was then I realised my answers were to be from other people. I will explain more further on. Eventually I found myself back by the park. Feelings of self doubt floated to the top and flooded my thoughts. I soaked these in by sitting on the grass at the end of the lake/canal of the park. I certainly did not feel well and was very close to wishing I could switch the flick and turn off the altered state of consciousness I was experiencing.

I began to forget who I was, and I noted the importance of having a home, family, love. I felt the urge to write. However when I started my hands were trembling, and shaking internally immensely. I came to some few realisations. I saw the need of purpose. I understood how important it was to be working towards something. And how dreadful and time wasting it was to be doing nothing, absolutely nothing at all, being in regards to present moments and future orientation. And impossible it is. And how great it feels to know you have something to do, to go, to be. The importance of doing. Living purposefully. I dearly missed my family and I became so grateful for and towards them, imagining what it would be like without them seemed unimaginable. After some further thoughts I made the decision that I wanted to go back to the hostel, so I could lie down, and escape the dreadful (self)accusing thoughts, people projected onto others to get away from public, the overwhelming magnitude of people, everywhere. I made it to the hostel.

Inside the room it was boiling hot. The whole trip my hands felt as if they were sweating the whole time. Now it was prominent. I took off my clothes, realised it was middle of the afternoon and what was I doing wanting to go to bed? I was traveling by myself. Who would do that? Why would I do that? Oh wait, that's right I’m on psychedelics. So what? Don’t go to bed. Clothes back on. No no, I decided to come back here to lay down and relax. Clothes back off. Who cares anyway. I spend some time pacing the room without it bringing anything in particular. I lay down. I didn’t feel well at all in the stomach. I managed to get some clothes back and and shoes and get downstairs to the bathroom where I tried to throw up. I couldn’t. My internals were all unwilling. Washing my hands was a blessing. Being back in the room I tried various positions of relaxing physically, all where uncomfortable. My mental state was not of current satisfaction. I wanted to take the next bus back to CitY. I didn’t feel like being here and I appreciated personal space - having a home - a whole lot more. I didn’t know who I was. Or what it was like to have qualities that defined a person. Who is anyone, anyway? Was what was crossing my mind. The floor was going absurd. On the opposite wall there were 2 bunk beds, pushed both the walls of their heads, leaving a gap between their tails. In the middle of this gap was some sort of stone/rock.

The whole floor was wavering in the direction of the rock, and I followed curious as to where floors on psychedelics go. It led to the rock. I was speechlessly flabbergasted. I had my first blick of humanity: People climb onto this rock and grow and become bigger threw experience and driven force to the goal and path which they had followed which led them to standing on the rock. Then they got old and fell down landing on the the floor. The floor then became of a spherical shape and unravelled itself as earth. There were many figures lying on earth of different sizes and I visualised myself being on this rock and falling down, leaving an imprint on the earth.

Next thing I know somebody has come into the room and started making his bed. The only words exchanged were hello. He left. Another person came in and said, "Is this…" and I followed, "This is…", and he said ah yes this my bed after seeing the number on the side. It was the bed the previous person had just made. I made no effort to make a remark towards my knowledge of what happened. At first I was confused and brushed it away. We were conversing. I was having difficulties but I think I did ok. He was a bum. But in my opinion he did an excellent job at keeping it hidden. It was most amusing. I made my mind up to get cleaned up and grab some food. I think it was about 6-7pm. I hadn’t eaten since 10am approx. My stomach was killing me. I didn’t feel like eating. I got myself a locker first as I was skeptical. Obviously. I was in a youth hostel basically open to the public without any locked doors. I grabbed my things and made my way, as I had a place in mind. I knew where it was, out the door and right, until I see it. Except I found a reason to double check and had to walk back to get wifi. I made it there. My hands were sweating profusely once again. I forgot social standards and also where I was going. I went to a different restaurant on a corner. This changed the whole course of my experience. Here I found beauty, love, joy, carelessness, peace, stillness, religion. The self joy I experienced is hard to describe.

It still goes over my head. I felt as if I overcame many of the 'demons' I was facing earlier. I felt at peace. People watching was fanatically intriguing. It was an experience of its own with each person, as if I could dive deep into themselves and see and feel what they were. The songs which were playing in the restaurant as well were 100% coinciding with what I felt, or needed to hear. I’m leaning more so to what I needed to hear. My ears were of precise ability. I could pick up conversation by simply focusing my listening to where they were. And it worked. I left in one of the most uplifted moods I seem to feel I have ever felt. Next stop - coffeeshop. On the way there, which was quite the walk, but most beautiful, the answers to my questions and thoughts lay in other people's conversation I picked up as I was passing by them. This was incredible. The answers I received to the questions I was asking… Wow. When there was something I was meant to hear but didn’t, I conversed back and said sorry I missed what you said, I was too struck by the fact that this is happening, and then I was able to pick up where we left off and continue. This happened several times that I'd drifted off and missed what was being said, and I recall an upset/ angry/ frustrated/ annoyed voice at me for not being more present/ aware of what was being said. I noted and accepted my mistakes and apologised, and all was well.

Eventually I made it to the coffeeshop, not the one I was searching, but one very nearby it. I got some white widow. Rolled up at the bar, and made my way back. First funny thing that happened was I almost knocked over a bike standing next to various others while walking past a group of maybe 20yo’s whose conversation had halted as I came to closer proximity and after bumping it I kept walking but had my eyes fixated on the bike - to my relief it stayed put. Next thing I almost walked into the restaurant right around the corner. And for future note the white widow was the best Kush I’ve ever puffed on, unbelievably smooth. The conversations that followed are unrecordable but the path they followed where extraterrestrial. To my honest and certain knowledge, I experienced something along if not the same line then very similar, to the meme in which the alien wakes up and is surrounded by his friends asking him if he felt it, and then lights the blunt. This was similar to me in which I realised there was a much much higher force attracting and guiding and directing us all, and it was a knowingness at the time that I was communicating with them, hence receiving my answers to my questions from people passing by me, and when I realised this it was at the exact time I had to stop and light my joint.

I was in hysterics. And complete disbelief of my belief of what had just happened. I didn’t just experience this once.

UPDATED
Here I had stopped writing, however I headed back towards the direction of my hostel, and upon coming close I decided that I will continue walking as the experience was beautiful. I walked past the restaurant I had just been prior sitting at and found myself walking along a small river. The conversation(s) I was having in my head was astoundingly breath taking. Hard it is to find the right expression worthy enough to represent the feeling I carried throughout the time after arriving at the restaurant. It came to be that I passed a game of swans; something I have never seen before. They were all white. I conversed with them, they responded. I told them that I love them, I told them how beautiful they are and that I would love to speak longer but that I can’t right now. I have other things I have to do right now. Hearing a response from these creatures was a Beauty I will have to wait to fulfill again. My words do not do it justice. I made my way back to the hostel with the idea to go to sleep and not much in between.

As I arrived at the stairs I conceived my perception to change of the relationship between my mind and body. I was thoughtlessly climbing the steps trusting only my muscle memory to keep my climbing. The next thing I remember is hearing an ever-growing loud sound from which I had no clue where it was coming from. Something clicked in my head that it was exceedingly difficult to reach the next step, and then the next. I looked down and realised my legs were not doing what they normally do. I was having difficulties climbing the stairs, I lost connection with my physical body, I lost feeling, I couldn’t feel if I was on the next step or about to be. I felt like a cloud of energy floating between walls, gravity didn’t matter now. I arrived in bed and was no longer a physical being. I had completely ascended. I was swivering between higher and lower dimensions, and it was up to me when I went up or down, which I did not realise at the time.

I encountered a higher being. He was tremendous in scope. I wasn’t sure if it was my higher self or a higher being or God. I flickered between the three. After this situation ceased I heard voices taking with me and naming me dad. I'm not sure how to speculate this. It was such an incredible feeling, concurrently overwhelming. This however caused feelings of (anxiety) however eventually I dispersed the situation by literally closing the lid, which I visualised. They were gone. Down by the patio in the hostel garden there were various people chitchatting among themselves. It came to be that I distinctly heard them saying things about me they could not know and saying my name also. This put me in a very very odd demeanour. To make it even weirder one of the staff from the hostel went outside several times to tell those to be quiet due to others sleeping. I know. Vivid. With this being said, I eventually fell asleep.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 113182
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Aug 4, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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Cannabis (1), Chocolate (182), Mushrooms (39) : Various (28), Relationships (44), Entities / Beings (37), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)