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Confidence and Passion Restored
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
by daytripper
Citation:   daytripper. "Confidence and Passion Restored: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp113487)". Erowid.org. Jul 2, 2020. erowid.org/exp/113487

 
DOSE:
3 g oral Mushrooms
  0.5 g vaporized Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT: 186 lb


Loosely translated what I wrote down while tripping. I tried to organize it a little to keep it readable.

T Ė 00:15
I grind 3 grams of Psilocybe cubensis (Golden Teacher) and place them in an empty teabag. I added a bit of honey and some green tea to help with the flavor. I am somewhat experienced with LSD and have tried shrooms once before with a bit smaller dose but have not taken any psychedelics for a while so I get a bit nervous.

T = 00:00
I decided to put on back to the future and chill on my bed while drinking the tea. The tea tastes much more bitter and unpleasant than last time. I expect a rapid comeup because I had fasted for 17 hours before ingestion.

T + 00:25
I forgot that I had left a bunch of groceries on the counter. I can already feel my skin getting sensitive and a mild sense of euphoria. I wouldíve preferred to lay down my but I figured I will forget the groceries if I donít act now. As I get up and start trying to fit the groceries in my small-ish fridge I get some nausea and itís making me anxious. It was really difficult but I made it. For some reason I thought that I ďhaveĒ to put them all in place before I can go the bathroom. I run into the bathroom and instantly throw up.

As Iím throwing up Iím thinking ďfinally something differentĒ and I smile. For some reason I am happy but I feel weirded out by that thought. ďThis is a good signĒ I think to myself. I start washing my teeth and tell myself that self-help will be the theme of my trip.

T + 00:35
I get back to my bedroom and try to continue the movie. My perspective is clearly distorted. My thoughts are very clear and my skin is getting more sensitive. Writing my trip report starts to get incredibly hard and I notice that writing one sentence made me miss a bunch of the movie. Itís the first time Iím seeing it so I decide itís important to not miss a bit. I had told my friend that Iíll be taking shrooms when I get work and I see that he has left me a message asking if Iím high. I smile to myself and write an answer to my report before getting back to him.

T + 00:45
I start to wonder if vomiting had an effect on the trip because I donít feel as fucked up as I thought I would. It doesnít matter to me. This is good, very peaceful and warm. I realize something about myself. This is what I like, nothing too crazy. Iíve done big doses of L only to brag about it.

T + 00:55
I feel like I could write on this forever. Although, itís too hard to write everything that comes in mind. Thatís ok, Iím getting a whole lot out of this. I almost got horny from my laptop pushing my crotch. Thereís an incest joke in the movie so I get disgusted and laugh my ass off. Thereís probably a joke about pornhub these days but I canít think of one. I just imagine itís there and laugh nonetheless.

T + 01:00
At this point I decided itís too hard to count how many hours has passed and start reporting the time instead. The visuals are not as intense as Iíd like so maybe Iíll vaporize some cannabis later. I really like the movie but I canít focus on it. Writing seems better.

T + 03:00
I had watched some of the movie and chatted with my friends for a bit. A lot of time was spent on thinking if Iím being honest to myself. I vaporize some cannabis at 185 degrees celsius. My trip gets a lot more visual. Iím not sure what I have to write here. But well, I donít have to right? I think Iíll just write what I want. Iím the only one thatís gonna see this after all (if I want so). For some reason Iím embarrassed to write anything. Even if itís for myself only. Thatís kind of scary. Whatís wrong with me? I remember when in high school we had a writing exercise where you had to write whatever comes in mind. If nothing comes in mind you have to write gibberish. I start to write and complete nonsense appears on the screen.

ďHave I not haved the skill to express myself? I mean a channel to express myself. Sorry future me ď:DĒ Iím trying to relax now. No one will judge me for this. The only purpose in this is to leave some text I wrote for myself about this? Wow, it sure is trippy to look at my laptop from this angle. Looks like both keyboard and the screen are parallel to my vision. Vaporizing turned out to be the right call. This is a special event for me and I canít worry about other people right now. I even have work tomorrow so Iíll need sleepĒ

T + 03:30
My alarm to go to sleep goes off. My thoughts go completely quiet for a while. I realize that I have never written a diary or such.

T + 04:00
I realize that the writing exercise I was referring to earlier happened a day after my first LSD experience. I get very happy about it. I remember how I read my LSD inspired story to a friend of mine and he was truly impressed. I go play my guitar with a huge passion. I even play better than usual. This is great. I feel like my life has just been turned upside down. I play a couple chords from ďfree birdĒ and my smile gets as wide as ever.

T + 04:30
Wow, I blew a lot of time for a few sentences again. Thatís funny. I guess I should write more often, perhaps it would help me be more articulate and confident in my speech. Iíll probably be ashamed tomorrow about what Iíll write here, but thatís ok. Iím having the time of my life. The part before this now feels boring in comparison. Leaving you by Sound Remedy is playing. Itís important to remember this song. It will help me remember this beautiful moment. Or so I hope.

T + 04:40
Hello again future me. The text will from now on look like it was written by an idiot. But no can do. After all, Iím drugged out of my mind. Itís crazy that Iím writing this.

T + 04:50
Normally, I feel like time slows down on psychedelics but this is the complete opposite. Oh well, Iíve stopped to laugh at my naked self, to my guitar and Ö I forgot what else.

T + 05:00
Itís been at least 2 or 3 hours since Iíve vomited (I guess the time wasnít going that fast after all). I was right about this being something different. Iím actually not anxious about anything no more. I havenít felt this confident for a long time. I want to send my regards to future me: ďdonít be ashamed of yourself :D regards mushroom guyĒ. If I have not written it yet the text Iíve written feels like a funny thing. I mean looks. The text makes up an object. A multidimensional, but still 2D image that can be read but cannot be read. My ramblings donít make any sense but these are my unfiltered thoughts. Words are hard but I canít do anything about it so it doesnít matter. I feel like maybe Iím repeating myself too much? I canít go back and organize this though, I can do that later. Or maybe not.
Thanks for that dot thoughÖ
ď??? I donít know where I was going with that but I felt like I had come up with a joke but there was no punchline, or any logic whatsoever. Kinda like when you are waaking up from a dream and try to explain that was in dream ??? I canít. Fuck.

LmaoĒ

T + 05:15
I probably already wrote that Iíll vaporize some more but I donít think I did vaporize anything because I began to write again. Huh, I could do these at the same time. I set it on 199 degrees celsius because from now on I want to take good care of my lungs. At least I would pleasantly find out about it but if not then 199 is good. I remember reading from a chart that 200 degrees is a bad threshold.

T + 05:16
My vaporizer is at 180 degrees now. I donít know why I had to report that. I wonder if these will be interesting to read or just plane gibberish. Maybe a bit of both? I feel crazy again because Iíve been laying on my bed naked for 30 minutes high on weed and shrooms just spamming my thoughts on my laptop. Iím afraid someoneís spying on me. Well not really, but kind of. I should start using a password manager tomorrow. That would free up my mind. It could be beneficial to me to keep track of my thoughts even when Iím sober.

T + 05:18
Iím getting some good clouds from 199 degrees. It got dark outside really fast. But I guess Iíve been sitting here for a while now. Mustíve been 3 hours already since I took them. Thereís nothing wrong with me. I just havenít gotten enough practice and I lack confidence. When I overthink things go downhill. But that doesnít matter because then I can use time afterwards to clean everything up. I should just do things when I have the energy and then fine tune them later. Check tomorrow how many appliances this idea has! Iím already cringing a bit at my text.
My screen looks multi-dimensional ? honeycomb
Another alarm goes off.

I had promised myself to go to bed early every dayÖ now I am breaking that promise. I wish I could be my own supervisor. Iíd probably like order. Itís also nice to do things, make something. Not just lay around all day doing nothing. Wow my days have been so boring for a long time. Do I really have to pee suddenly? This will probably be the last thing Iíll type on my report. My screen looks buggy I wonder what my apartment will look like.

T + 06:00
Itís been 30 minutes and Iíve done nothing but send nonsense messages to my friends. Or maybe I did go to the bathroom.

T + 08:00
Everything begins to even out. Iím still really high though. I read what I have written earlier in the trip and chuckle at them. Iím almost ashamed, but reading them again makes me happy. I have a feeling that I have just got out of Sauna. Or thatís the closest feeling that comes in my mind.
Shrooms have been very kind to me today.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113487
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Jul 2, 2020Views: 552
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Mushrooms (39) : Combinations (3), General (1), Alone (16)

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