Sertraline & Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Ashton. "First Trip in a Years: An Experience with Sertraline & Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp113828)". Erowid.org. Dec 2, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113828
Diagnosed for seasonal depression, sertraline 50mg.
Here is the plan: 3 days off my SSRI, 1 day without food, lemon tek, 7 grams of PE6 shrooms
I’m hungry, angry, but so excited I wanted to burst out of my seat with laughter. Its Saturday in the middle of fall, and I am sitting in my college bio class messing around with different organisms under microscopes. I feel the effects of my seasonal kicking back in as I have gone cold turkey the last 3 days preparing for my shroom trip. I have fasted for not even one day and I feel hangry enough to punch the clock for not moving fast enough. It’s a minute or two until we get to leave, after a 15-minute drive home, and another 5 to prepare, it’ll be off to my first psychedelic trip in years.
I get home, take the shrooms out of the cabinet and dump them in pure lemon juice. My mom stares at my dose and asks if I really think this is a good idea.
My mom stares at my dose and asks if I really think this is a good idea.
I reassure her that I know what I’m doing. As I wait for the psilocybin in the shrooms to convert to psilocin in the lemon juice I wake up my trip sitter, AKA my brother to let him know I will be dosing up soon. A few more minutes pass as I give a prayer to whoever is out there watching. Bless my life, show me what else is out there. I gulp down the lemony mushrooms, not half bad! But I’m a person that will eat just about anything.
I prepare my tripping room, my downstairs bathroom with blankets and a pillow for comfort. I sit down and brace myself for the waves of psychedelia to hit me. Minutes, eons, lifetimes pass as I sit in silent darkness and wait. Not an iota of anxiety is present. I am fully prepared for whatever happens. Thoughts…… after thoughts…... what have I done to myself?
Accelerating, my mind’s eye becomes clear. My thoughts start to flow into one another. Colors are created from the darkness. My mind seems to expand, my life and time on the Earth is broken down into segments. Portions of time I dedicate to fulfill internal drive. I love my life. My life is filled with people I love. A wave of tears hits me, I miss my girlfriend. There is no past, there is no future. I am fully in the present. My life is clear, everything I do is to fulfill the feelings I have within myself. To feel good about life is to organize your time around the intrinsic energies you possess. The mushrooms have fully hit me, and I begin to become bored in the bathroom.
(I felt like the shrooms weren’t strong enough for me to trip in silent darkness)
I burst out of the bathroom feeling amazing, totally in the moment, the perfect version of myself. I had the ability to focus on the positives in my life. My brother asks, “how’s it going” and the smile on my face says it all as we start to joke around and act goofy. It feels like every joke imaginable is being processed at supersonic speeds. We laugh for 10 minutes or so, then we hear the door swing open. My mom has come home with the groceries. We help her unload them, walking outside, everything is bright, not too many visuals, but there is some drifting and melting. She gives me a concerned look and I whisper to her “don’t tell anybody but I’m totally not on mushrooms”. She laughs and gives me a hug.
It’s around 2 hours after dosing and my mom, dad, brother and I sit in the living room talking, laughing, and living. I seem to give a positive energy to the room. God, I wish they would trip with me. I remember feeling so open, attributing any negative feeling with where it truly comes from and addressing it. We all sit and talk about god knows what for hours.
My mind feels clear, talking with my parents while on psychedelics is funny. I see the subtleties that have been passed on to me. My brother just returned from his university and my parents question him about his studies. This gets me thinking about what I want to do. After connecting many dots, I come to the realization I am already on the right path. I am taking courses at the community college to become a teacher, a fulfilling job.
Psychedelics always seem to spark my laughter. Jokes bounce off me like bullets. I can’t close my mouth for 2 seconds without pretending I’m a stand-up comedian. My parents eventually leave the room and me and my brother sit in silence for a minute. I sit up straight and throw my arms over my knees in a meditative stance. I watch as the sun and the moon rise and fall over my living room before Aztec symbols engulf me. I watch as the universe turns to dust. My brother then snaps me out of my daydream. He starts to talk about his math homework, and I can see the numbers coming out of his mouth and forming equations in midair. I am astonished.
The trip then starts to wane, I am coming down. We go to chipotle as I am starving. I felt a little anxious as I was still tripping but my dad and brother seem to not notice. Heading back home there is a giant balloon in the sky representing the new houses being built in our town. My brother and I rush over to the string holding the balloon and frantically start to pull down the beast, the giant balloon is finally at our hands and its bigger than the both of us. We take a sharpie and draw a smiley face on it before letting it shoot back up to the sky.
There was a little bit of a come down after the peak. I felt kind of shitty and angry. I smoked a little weed and it seemed to alleviate the anxiety.
Looking back on the experience I would say the visuals and trippy-ness would be compared to 2 grams of shrooms without SSRI’s, however, the introspectiveness and connectiveness I felt with my emotions are on a level I have never felt before. SSRI’s seem to get rid of all trippy-ness I would usually receive off shrooms.
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