DOSE:

30 g

oral

Mushrooms

(sclerotia)

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

My Exp. w/ Psilocybin Truffles Heroic Dose (Brand Valhalla)

At that time I had been listening to people such as Terence McKenna talking about their experience with high doses of magic mushrooms. They would often talk very dramatically about finding themselves in the presence of some very powerful being in a mystical and sometimes dangerous landscape. At this point I had been lucky enough to have spent a few years following my Guru, Sri Mooji. Encountering Sri Mooji's satsangs and talks had transformed my experience of life into such a beautiful and indescribable way. I can never really express in words the profundity of this discovery, and to this day words feel too cheap to try and broach this topic.

Regarding the taking of the mushrooms, my wife was understandably concerned that I wanted to go ahead with this. A psychedelic experience is always something of a risk. What will I encounter beyond the boundaries of the normal sate of consciousness? There is a sense that I am putting my life and mind into a zone of unpredictability. After she came around to the idea she would say, “Please don’t become addicted”! I laughed in the usual arrogant way, thinking to myself that it’s impossible to get addicted to magic mushrooms.

I took the 30g and didn’t like the taste at all, so washed it down with a big glass and a half of water in between bites. The proper onset must have taken around 1 hr.

Its beginning was like something akin to a Chinese dragon dance… You know, where you have a big dragon costume with a group of people underneath holding up the dragon costume and moving around? It was like that, but this time like a giant purple caterpillar bustling with dwarves underneath, chugging along towards me like a crazy train. It suddenly made sense why people said that psilocybin is like meeting the spirit of wackiness, zaniness. And suddenly the spirit of the mushroom becomes more apparent. Underneath the humble flesh that I sometimes see on my dinner plate, beneath the earth itself grows a complex flow of information. A powerful being, transporting electricity and light, zapping information to different points, creating complexity and possibilities of union, cooperation and pure awesomeness.

I realised I had entered this endeavor with a subtle projection, subconsciously hoping that I would be met with ethereal beings of light to caress me and show me heavens and so on. And instead, I was in the midst of a lunacy and mayhem. This lunacy I recognised from daily life, but usually only I see the tip of the iceberg of the madness. Now I am in the nest of the crazy.

Then there came a moment where there felt to be a moment of more formal introduction. Somehow, it was asked of me,
“So, who are you?” I sat up, and replied spontaneously with full confidence, “I am the son of xxxxxx, and I am of the clan of the Lord Shiva, Sri Mahadev, who brought the knowledge of self-realisation into mankind. It has been passed down through Sri Ram, Sri Buddha, along until the present day with Sri Ramana Maharshi, Sri Papaji, and my Guruji Sri Mooji”.

Suddenly, what many saints had been saying about lineages, and about connection of beings who are attracted to Satsang became amazingly clear. It was totally unexpected for me to watch these words rolling out of my mouth. I remember watching on Netflix the series Ramayan, which depicts the life or Sri Rama and I always found it very strange that often, when he would encounter someone he would say: “I am Rama, of the Raghu clan”. I never got why he would say he was of a clan, but it felt totally appropriate and truthful to speak like that.

When I say I was talking with this being, I don’t mean that there was necessarily a figure sitting on the sofa opposite me talking to me, although I’m sure that this is possible. In front of me was an empty sofa. But under the influence of the mushroom I was communicating with this being by talking out loud, and getting responses in many different ways. Funnily I was trying to keep my voice low as to not wake up my wife who was trying to sleep a few rooms away as it was late in the night. There is nothing worse when you are trying to sleep than when your partner is hallucinating and talking loudly to a mushroom, I’m sure. Anyway, this trying to talk quietly somehow made the entire discourse even more fun and enjoyable for everyone concerned. The conversation continued. We immediately got into Satsang talk, where I began to share things that I had heard from my Guru that had impacted my life so strongly. I relayed these messages, “Can the seer itself be seen? Even the attempt to find the seer, is itself seen! By what is it seen?”

The legendary quote of Sri Ramana Maharishi, “Whatever is destined to happen, will happen, try as you may to prevent it. Whatever is not destined to happen, will not happen, try as you may to make it happen. The best course therefore, is to keep quiet”.

As we talked like this, there was a growing sense of love and respect for each other. I was seeing the magnificence of this mushroom being, so much so I couldn’t help but keep muttering “you are so intelligent, you are so amazingly intelligent”. It was clear, that in the human form, none can match that level of intellect at all, not even closely. However, it seemed to me that pretty much the only thing that we’ve got going for us in our current form is this knowledge that from the saints and sages has been passed down. It’s divine, it is from God. This grace of God allows humans, who are not the most intelligent or complex beings, to be in the exaltedness of God, the source of consciousness. Continuing, it came from my mouth to say: “Every being is ultimately in abeyance to God. This is demonstrated in deep sleep, when the universe and the sense of I and other cease to exist.” This revealed a very sweet common ground here. These messages of the saints of sages expound the truths of the nature of all sentient beings, as we are all at the root consciousness, all connected with that invisible umbilical cord to God.

There was a very comfortable feeling now. The mushroom being gave me a huge treat, something I am so grateful for. It was like we cozied up and it began to produce something like the film of my Gurus (Sri Mooji's) enlightenment. Just watching him sit in silence in Samadhi, with the world whizzing by in the background. I can’t describe it too much. Anyone who is a devotee of a master, this must be amongst one of the highest gifts that can be given to you. Imagine a devotee of the Buddha being able to see the lord meditating underneath the Bodhi tree, conquering the forces of Maya. I felt I was given such a privilege and I still well up with tears thinking about it.

At one point, it was as if the mushroom flicked its hand and all kinds of scary faces started to move towards me. I literally tutted, like Guruji sometimes does when someone is talking about their mind's problems. Guruji will sometimes go: “And you say, oh my mind says this, my mind says that... *tut*, forget about it, it’s nothing!”

You have no idea how spiritually powerful something as simple as that is. One tut and the faces disappeared and we both chuckled. They way a master looks with their eyes, close their eyes, the way they talk, the way they Namaste, it’s all so unbelievably beneficial. Association with a Guru is like a constant flow of grace, there’s no need to doubt this.

I also began to show mudras (hand gestures). In this I have no training whatsoever, apart from seeing pictures of saints doing that but it’s something I never paid particularly close attention to. But that felt extremely enjoyable for myself and the mushroom. For all human beings this is also part of our heritage and culture.

It happened maybe twice during the trip that there was the sensation that the mushroom spirit left, and I was just very high and alone again. Those moments felt a bit more introspective, and it became clear that if there is an urge in you to take psychedelics, or for meditation or anything in fact, that there is a calling there. Life is a holy and divine experience for every being, it’s not possible to understand it with the human ordinary mind.

As well as this, spiritually I was not as connected to my body as I usually am in day to day life. It was very funny, as I was rubbing my tongue against my teeth and gums, the words of Lord Christ came into my head saying “don’t worry for what you will wear, or what food you will eat” etc. Probably for the first time in my life so far, that seemed like the most obvious and practical advice. Nothing complicated, spiritual or fancy about it. So clear that this body is a very temporary aspect, there’s no point to get too into that or worry too much about something so fleeting.

A few times it happened, there was an attempt to make an agreement with this being. It was like it said “if we work together, I can give you information”. At one point, it asked what information would I like. At the moment, a relative of mine has a bad illness that he has been struggling with for a few years. I began to say, “My relative, his name is xxxxx, he has a problem and they may have to remove his co-o-o-….” I literally could not finish that sentence, it was like my mouth didn’t have the energy for that. It’s a bit like when I go on a website, and it is claiming x y and z, then I scroll to the bottom and it says “You can get all this information for $39.99, click here to buy my book!”. Here, the mushroom was very clearly saying, “If you grow me, or promote me in some way, I can help you. I can literally tell you what to do or show what is the cause of the problem”. In that zone of consciousness, it’s pretty clear something like an illness or a problem is nothing complicated for these beings, the mushroom could just show you in pictures or tell you in English what you would need to do to solve that issue. Whether the offer is genuine or not I don’t know. But what came into my mind was the agreement that I made with my wife beforehand not to become “addicted”. So maybe three times I turned down this offer of cooperation. It was all very respectful and cause for more good hearted chuckling.

As I mentioned earlier I was not so much in the body. That glass and a half of water was coming back to haunt me and my bladder was getting more and more full. I tried to get up off the sofa, and ended up on the floor, pretty spasticated. I thought to myself that I couldn’t go to the bathroom like that, I didn’t want my wife to see me crawling along the floor and probably getting worried thinking something was wrong. After a while, the bladder felt so full I was getting desperate. And it suddenly came to me that this was my equivalent of the story of Hanuman jumping across the ocean to Lanka. The ocean was my hallway. It became clear that I just needed to take Gods name and have faith and everything becomes possible. I began to chant, “Amituofo, Amituofo, Amituofo”, and lo and behold, the strength came to my legs, carried me to the bathroom to relieve myself and got me back. It felt as an absolute miracle, and also as a demonstration that many things I take for granted. Even the ability to have balance, to walk, to talk, these things are of the grace of that supreme intelligence. They are not mine at all, be grateful always, nothing is possible without God.

The frazzling energy of the mushroom is quite something, at one point I tried to sit and have an empty mind. The only state that was possible was the kind of silence that the ego is typically and immaturely interested in. The image of someone in meditation by a pristine lake with bamboo plants gently swaying, like some Zen fantasy. However, this was felt as not the pure silence. Then I remembered that I had heard Papaji say something like, “This emptiness, this is desired by the Gods, Lord Indra himself is envious of this peace and silence”.

It was so obvious how lucky we are as humans, with our simple brains to be quickly absorbed in our consciousness source. Even such an amazing being such as the mushroom must have a much harder time to be in this peace that is so available for us humans.

In conclusion I am very grateful to have had this experience , which revealed many things and was so positive. Associate with the Gurus words, and I can go anywhere, I can relate with all beings because I see that I am of the same Lord. Endless gratitude to my Guruji Sri Mooji. By the grace of the Lord let us continue being absorbed in the divine light of God.
Om.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113961
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Jan 24, 2020	Views: 1,004
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