Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: MushroomMan93. "Music in My Head, Patterns on My Skin: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp113987)". Erowid.org. Jan 22, 2020. erowid.org/exp/113987
I want to share my first real unpleasant experience or "bad trip" with mushrooms. A little background first, I had just grown a batch of 24 pint jars o Psilocybe Cubensis B+ mushrooms from spore syringes. I used the PF tek and it worked just as it should. I was 26 years old, working full time and had just moved out on my own.
I had tripped on mushrooms 3 times before, the first 2 being pleasant experiences. The 3rd trip was a dose of 4 grams taken around 730pm and then maybe an hour and a half later a 30g fresh mushroom, equivalent to 3 grams dried but much more potent because they lose their potency when dried. Probably equivalent to around 8 to 9 grams dried in potency. After about 3 hours I decided to eat the fresh 30g mushroom. I ended up blacking out maybe an hour after eating the 30 gram mushroom, only to come to at 3am on the couch. I couldn't sleep and was crying because I thought I had lost my mind and would never be the same. I thought the only way to live my life from now on was to work hard, as this was an experience my parents and grandparents had experienced. Whatever, I had enough of that and decided to go lay down. I was fine the next day.
T+0... I had got off work the day of my 4th trip. I had been taking mushrooms once or twice a week, which was in hindsight way too often
I had been taking mushrooms once or twice a week, which was in hindsight way too often
, and I view this as the cause of the negative experiences. I wasnt respecting the mushrooms for what they can do. It was July 3 and I was gonna trip alone at home, I was off work the next day. I was undeterred by the last experience the previous week and decided to eat 4.3 grams of dried mushrooms powdered in a pestle and mortar, followed by a lemon juice shot. I then proceeded to chill playing my guitar and drinking a few Angry Orchard Rose.
T+2.00 Around 8pm, There were fireworks going on in the city to the north a little bit later so I stood outside to watch the color show in the sunset of the evening. Things were starting to get trippy, with wavy objects and patterns on my skin. Everything was cool for now, no problems, just a little bit boring being alone.
T+3.00 At around 10pm, This is where things took a negative turn, I think the mushrooms kicked in a little bit stronger. I felt as if I was day dreaming and suddenly awoke to an unpleasant feeling I was all alone and was very depressed. I felt a wet feeling in my mouth and unpleasant feeling in my gut. Suddenly I felt the urge to go to the bathroom just in case. After kneeling in front of the toilet I threw up what I had eaten earlier that day at work. I thought maybe the Angry Orchard had done it because I was having some heartburn. I had drank maybe 4 of them.
T+3.20 I was done in the bathroom and went into the living room as I felt I needed to try and distract myself from the way I was feeling. I was feeling as if my thoughts were racing and I wanted to change the way I felt to a more enjoyable mindset. I was unable to shake the feeling of being alone and now I was starting to feel nauseous again. I went back to the bathroom after maybe 20 minutes sitting on the couch thinking about the way I was feeling. I continued to throw up and empty my stomach. I noticed some red tinged chunks and assumed my stomach was bleeding as it looked like blood ( my grandmother had died from stomach cancer). It may have been some blood, or it could have been some dye in the food I had eaten, but I didnt eat anything from Arbys with red dye or sauce. As I started tripping harder I could only think with the heartburn I was having that my stomach was being eaten by its own acid and I could bleed to death. I then couldn't stop defecating and over the next hour I completely emptied my insides into my toilet. All the while hallucinating patterns on the wall beside the toilet, similar to ancient tribal patterns seen in the Runes of Conan the Barbarian, or ancient aztec patterns.
T+4.00 My stomach and colon are empty. I am sweating profusely and have taken off all my clothes. My mind is racing, I am hearing some tremolo style hammond organ and guitar music in my head, similar to alot of 60s music. Very much like Just Dropped In (to see what condition my condition is in) by Kenny Roger's and the First Edition. My hand is on the edge of the toilet and there are patterns all over my skin, the edges of my arm are all wavy, blue tribal markings run across the wall. The toilet porcelain has patterns all over it going down I to the throat of the toilet. If I look in the mirror the Ancient patterns are all over my face, also I can see hair growing out of my face and disappearing, then it grows back. Then it disappears again and grows back after a few seconds. My face looks to be close to 100 years old. After going to sit in my living room after another session of dry heaves (nothing left inside me) I can see my legs have like tribal tattoo style markings on them. I shut the lights off to try and disconnect. The closet doors have square routed out sections on them, these are moving around like there is a kaleidoscope on them, but I cant make out what they look like or what they are doing. The louvers on the furnace room door are shifting around and changing shape. I see colors moving around similar to a kaleidoscope of christmas lights when I close my eyes. These colors are not very vivid, but more of a drab or faint design I am trying to make out exactly what it is.
T+4.5 I feel another round of nausea and panic so I head to the bathroom. After more dry heaves I start drinking water to stay hydrated because it is july in michigan and is hot. I cant keep the water down and start to feel very dizzy. I think to myself I am going to pass out and choke on my vomit, or die from dehydration. I stand up from the toilet and as I feel like my blood pressure is dropping I go for my phone in the living room. I feel as if I am going to pass out very intensely and I cannot walk straight. As I am now running/staggering towards the living room, my field of vision starts fading like when you pass out, but at the same time everything changes in contrast, almost like a black light. I have never experienced anything quite like this before. I try to go around the table to get my phone off the arm of the couch and I almost fall over. I slam my laptop screen shut shut as I reach for the table to brace myself so I dont fall. I grab the phone and unlock the screen in case I decide to call 911 or pass out and head back to the bathroom to wash my mouth out in the tub. I feel heartburn very bad and want to wash the stomach acid off my teeth. I contemplate calling my boss, a friend or my mom to be with me, telling them I took mushrooms and my stomach is bleeding and I am scared. I just remember that nobody has died from shrooms so I keep telling myself that. Eventually I am able to keep water down, but I still hear the tremolo organ music in my head. It is some of the most beautiful music I have ever heard and I can only think all the 60s bands who tripped must have been inspired by this same experience while on LSD and Psilocybin.
T+5.00 My mind is still racing. It is scaring me the way I feel mentally, like I have no control of my mind. My pupils are all black and I am still sweating and feeling hot. I just want it to end. I can feel it is not as intense as an hour or two earlier. The patterns are mostly gone but the thoughts racing are intense. I feel as if I have become schizophrenic. I didnt want to call anyone for the reason I didnt want them to call an ambulance and end up in the mental hospital and get my stomach pumped. This Is despite the fact I almost called an ambulance myself for fear of dying. I sit down on the couch in the living room and put on some Bob Seger Night Moves. When the song is over I can hear it in my head, but with a little more tremolo and organ just like the music I had heard earlier. I feel panicked still and my mind has no control over its thoughts. I start almost hearing voices and sounds very faintly ( cant quite put my finger on what it is).
T+6.00 Starting to come down finally. The music is fading and my mind is slowly regaining control. I am beginning to start thinking normal thoughts again, but not 100%. I feel good, my body feels cleansed and my mind feels better and better as time goes on. There is nothing you can do in a trip like this but wait it out, and it is finally ending.
T+7 12pm Finally back to baseline. I feel rested and rejuvenated. What a hell of a night. Time for a shower, brush my teeth and go to sleep.
T+ 5 months ( Jan 2020) sitting at my kitchen table writing this report; In hindsight I view this not necessarily as a negative experience
In hindsight I view this not necessarily as a negative experience
, but more along the lines of the ego death everyone talks about experiencing. I felt as if I was being shown I am not in control of what happens and this is what it is like to die and to lose your mind. I also recognize the music I heard in my head in alot of psychedelic rock, such as songs like Work this Time by King Wizard and the Lizzard Gizzard. I can only think they must have tripped and got inspiration from what they heard.
Who knows, I definitely feel as if we are all connected by our consciousness and the commonality of the human experience. Psychedelics turn your mind on and allow you to see spiritual things only children and mentally ill people can see. I also feel as if I started to experience a near death experience with the passing out feeling accompanied by the fading field of vision. I cannot explain it in any other way. I truly believe these are medicines to be used to explore the mind and are to be respected.
I tripped several times after this, having one more bad trip, but mostly pleasant as I let there be more of a gap in between experiences. I hope to do a large dose 10g or more one day. Thank you for reading my report, I hope you found this experience as interesting as I have. Good luck and godspeed.
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