Citation: theAngryLittleBunny. "Five Days Awake With Insane Hallucinations: An Experience with 3-MEO-PCE (exp114463)". Erowid.org. Jun 2, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114463
The doses described in this report are potentially life threatening. The amount taken is beyond a heavy dose and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Doses such as this have been known to cause hospitalizations and/or deaths. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
This is a report about the worst psychosis I ever had from any drug, and I wouldn't lie if I would say that this was probably the most horrifying experience of my life and I didn't think I would survive that.
I've used a few dissociative drugs in the past, I mainly was addicted to plain PCE for two or three months during which I got a psychosis two times which each lasted two weeks and were horrifying. After a few months of abstinence I occasionally used 3-MeO-PCE again, which overall feels extremely similar to PCE, I don't think I could tell any difference. I maybe used it once or twice a week, 5mg would give my light effects which would just make me feel a bit floaty and elevate my mood. After a long abstinence 15mg already felt really strong. I just get a really typlical, stimulating and manic dissociation. But tolerance increased quickle and I soon needed 25mg after a few times, and soon even 40mg+. I would almost consistently get what I call the "Alice in wonderland syndrome" which only occured rarely with PCE, but I attribute that to permanente changes in my brain and not the drug.
I thought I would be safe from a psychosis if I only use it every few days, but I guess I was wrong. One thursday evening, maybe 10pm I took about 30mg intranasal and after an hour I didn't really feel a sadisfying effect, so I increased the dose to maybe a bit more then 40mg over 2 to 3 hours, which was a dose I took multible times before. However the effects were still unsadisfying and at maybe 4am I attempted to sleep, but it was impossible. Towards the morning I get pretty strong anxiety, I looked in the mirror thinking my face looked extremely deformed and ugly. It was so bad I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. The day went on and in the evening I had to go to a course. I still didn't feel a bit tired and the course went from 5:30pm to 9pm. On the way there I listened to some japanese anime music and when I took the headphones off in the course the music seemed to have burned itself into my brain and I was still hearing it silently, which was extremely annoying and scary
the music seemed to have burned itself into my brain and I was still hearing it silently, which was extremely annoying and scary
. I'm pretty sure this was already the psychosis setting in, because when I looked around I though everyone looked better then me, I felt worthless. I also started to occasionally see rainbow coloured lines around objects.
On the trainride home I suddenly heard a repetitive "wawawawa" sound, I thought someone was playing some weird music on loud in the train, because it would go away when I plugged my ears. I tried to ignore this and the slight hallucinations thinking I just need to sleep it off. When I got out of the train and waked home the "wawa" sound followed me, which absolutely terrified me. I understood now that if I would hear any noise it would trigger this sound. I was so terrified that I took 1mg of xanax and slept on the couch where my mom was reading. Over all I slept about 4 hours, but the most horrifying thing happened after that. When I woke up the hallucinations had extremely intensified.
I slept about 4 hours, but the most horrifying thing happened after that. When I woke up the hallucinations had extremely intensified.
I saw rainbow coloured blinking lines and geometric patterns everywhere. When I would rub my eyes I would see extremely complex rainbow coloured fractel patterns changing and eventually dissapearing in hundreds of blue pixels that would cover my field of vision for a few seconds, even when I opened my eyes. I tried to cope with it by trying to accept that I have to live with these patterns now, I mean they look kinda pretty. When I would take a walk there were moving patterns in vivid rainbow colours everywhere, almost like as if I had taked a strong dose of some psychedelic drug.
I couldn't accept that, because the next night I still couldn't sleep at all. I later was convinced that it was a brain lesion and asked my parents to bring me to a hospital. There I asked the neurologist for an MRI scan for which he gave me an appointment, but after describing the symtomes he also said he's pretty sure it is a psychosis. Afterwards we went to a psychiatric hospital because I hoped they could help me sleep. I got there at maybe afternoon and then just lied in bed seeing crazy fractel hallucinations everywhere. I was sure I permanently fucked myself up and I thought I probably have to commit suicide after I get out of here. At about 3am I went to a nurse telling here I couldn't sleep, I overall annoyed the staff a lot in my psychotic state. She gave me a 40mg tablet of Prothipendyl, an antipsychotic medication. I lied back down in my bed, but soon after that my ears felt like they were closing, I was terrified and got up, but I walked as if I had like over 2 promille, it was really difficult. I went back outside to the nurse because I was terrified, but she was just really annoyed that I still wouldn't sleep. I told here that I wanted to go home, but she said I had to wait until 10am to leave. I spent the night drinking as much water as I can to try to flush out the Prothipendyl and asked my parents to take me home.
I was extremely depressed on the way home, I was sure I would be completely unfunctional for the rest of my life from this time on. I thought the dose of 3-MeO-PCE destroyed the "sleeping part" of my brain and the only way to fix me was to have a surgery where they would implant a new "sleeping part" in my brain, that's how far gone I was. At home my mom gave me 2mg of xanax, but even after 3 night without sleep I still couldn't fall asleep and paniked. During the day I would hear the "wawawa" sound plus police sirenes in the background and I would get light flashes all over my field of vision. I was so terrified I told my dad "OMG, the 3-MeO-PCE is eating holes in my brain right now, I hope it kills me quickly!". I even told my parents my password to my phone so they can tell my friend that I died, because I was sure I was going to die in a few days.
I and my dad went back to the hospital after 4 nights of no sleep, I felt extremely awake and anxious in the hospital. A psychiatrists there suggested I should take 2.5mg of lorazepam with 4mg of Tizanidine every 30 minutes with relaxing music up to 3 times until I fall asleep, so my dad got the prescription for these two drugs and we went home. Towards the evening I felt extremely tired and kinda stiff, when I looked around I would get strong after images, but it was still impossible to sleep. It felt like there was a mental block preventing me to even enter the half asleep state when I lied down. At 10pm my dad gave me the first 2.5mg of Lorazepam with 4mg of Tizanidine while putting on some meditative music. The experience was quite nice, while I laid there and the drugs started working, I felt like I was spinning slowly an floating down. 30 minutes later I got the same two drugs again, and another 30 minutes later I got another 2.5mg of Lorazepam with 150mg of Trazodone, but I still couldn't sleep and started to freak out. About 2 to 3 hours after the first dose I convinced my dad to give me another 2.5mg of Lorazepam. I slept maybe a minute before a horrific nightmare woke me up. I had 10mg of Lorazepam plus other sedating drugs in my body with almost 5 days no sleep and still couldn't sleep, this freaked me out extremely. I can't really remember what I did next, but appearently I stumbled into my room and took whatever I thought could put me to sleep. Appearently I took some Datura seeds which I collected last summer but never touched after that.
My parents drove me back to the hospital and apparently I was awake and talking the whole time, but I remember nothing.
My parents drove me back to the hospital and apparently I was awake and talking the whole time, but I remember nothing.
I only slowly came back to me when I was brought into the hospital in a wheelchair, but I first I thought I was dreaming. I literally thought I was dreaming about the hospital and told the doctors that I took 7g of datura seeds and 30g of Amobarbital when they asked me. They obviously were terrified, because I would be absolutely dead if I took that. I was put on a hospital bed and there I slowly realized that this was real, and only later my parents texted me what happened, as I had no idea. I was on a heart rate monitor and my heart rate was at about 120 with high blood pressure. A doctor who watched over me told me to stop moving and lie still to not get a heart attack. I still had slight hallucinations from the Datura, which still were minor compared to the psychosis. Basically I often would barely recognize the room I was looking at as a room, everything in my visual field just seemed like random shapes to me. Sometimes whe walls changed colour and the room filled with mist, but this went away over a few hours and I was left with the usual hallucinations.
The time in the hospital was horrible, when I would move around or shake my pillow I would hear entire conversations from the sound. I would hear voices in the sound of blowing wind plus the "wawa" and police sirene sounds in the background. Towards the night. I got 25mg of Melperone at 10pm which is a pretty mild antipsychotic which again didn't help me sleep at all. At 2am in the bed is where the hallucinations turned interesting, I could literally pick them up with my fingers, I was almost convinced I was able to see some kind of invisible energy. I even tried to photograph the hallucinations with my phone and was surprised when they also showed up on the photos. When I looked at them later the hallucinations were obviously gone. At 3am a rather nice nurse came to my room, after I told her I still couldn't sleep despite the Melperone she gave me 10mg of Zolpidem and brought me to another room. I was sure this wouldn't help, but to me complete surprise I actually fell asleep for 2 to 3 hours, for the first time I had hope again after that.
In the afternoon of the next day I was discharged, but I still had the hallucinations and andio distortions and was really struggling to sleep. For the next week I was just extremely lethargic and felt horrible during the day, but it slowly got better. after a few days out of the hospital the visual hallucinations went away. Then I had the MRI which came back completely fine. Then the "wawa" and sirene sounds subsided. Now, almost 3 weeks after this started I still have slight trouble sleeping and I took Lorazepam for sleep the last few days, but it's getting better and I'm almost back to normal.
I thought Benzodiazepine withdrawals are bad, but this was so much more horrifying, even during benzo withdrawal I could sleep a bit each night and I at least know exactly what it was. I never wanna take dissociative drugs again, or most addictive drugs for that matter. A psychosis from dissociatives which are stimulating and have a potency close to PCP, such as PCE, 3-MeO-PCE or 3-MeO-PCP, is probably the most horrifying drug experience one can have and I could easily see how I might have committed suicide during this.
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