DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5 hits		LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 7:00		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 8:00	0.5 hits		LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00	repeated	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 0:00	repeated	oral	Tea

BODY WEIGHT:

136 lb

It was a Sunday, winter morning on the driest inhabited continent. I was sleep deprived...as usual.

It was barely 7°C/44.6°F.

I was wearing a black baseball hat, a large black overcoat, a black long-sleeved shirt, black jeans and carrying a black sports bag. I was waiting outside a busy railway station. I downed my energy drink and chain-smoked cigarettes in the cold. It was roughly 10am. I clutched my sports bag and hugged my coat as I was being punished by the wind.

I had made contact with someone over social media a week ago. We had 1 mutual friend. We both shared a fascination with a man named Dimitri- who supposedly owned a pet toad. This internet friend knew a pal of mine (whom I had last spoken to 8 years ago). These 2 were acquainted through working together at a tech start-up recently. We exchanged details and one thing led to another, I am now waiting for him to arrive at this very railway station as I anxiously lit up another cigarette. He arrived.
I asked him sheepishly, "Well, if you're law enforcement you should let me know, now." We snickered.

The plan today, was to attend an event made by and for some like-minded individuals who may or may not provide us assistance in our search for Dimitri. Then I'd stick around my new acquaintance's house. The meeting was situated at a public park near the Central Business District. We took a bus and conversed. We shall call this new friend A. A. and I had some common interests. We both liked our video games, we were studying something in STEM, we were both university students, not too religious and into experimenting and experiencing the night life. The meet and greet at the park panned out a little differently. I did not know what I was expecting. People with dyed hair? People wearing trenchcoats? People plastered with facial piercings? Wearing provocative makeup? I wrongfully assumed people who delved into this realm would look quite alternative. We were greeted by a gentleman wearing smart casual attire with glasses and a neat haircut. We sat down and discussed briefly where the other members of this meet up would be.

To my surprise, the attendees were a little older than expected but appeared identical to your everyday person walking down the street. We sat down in nature on a picnic rug and tuned in on a podcast. A. and I decided to cut the meeting short. We exchanged goodbyes with the group and swapped details with our friend who donned glasses. We trekked for some lunch. My appetite was almost non-existent. A. feasted on a lunch jampacked with protein and carbohydrates. We took the bus back to his end of town.

I dumped my black coloured sports bag onto his white bed sheets and pulled out a zipped, transparent ziploc bag no larger than the size of a baby's palm.

"Well, A.,"
"This is it. Meet Lucy..."

I took out 2 paper blotter tabs, each containing 330μg of Lysergic acid diethylamide. They were miniscule in size, appearing only a fraction larger than a fingernail.

It was A's first time seeing Lucy. He has consumed a decent serving of mushroom pizza a few times in his life and has been an exchange student in California. He had been acquainted with Buddy who now legally lives in California- who goes by the nickname “Bud".

It was 2pm on a Sunday Afternoon. I was coughing a lot. I had just cut up a single square tab into 2 with a pair of green scissors. A. and I decided to go halves on a 330ug tab. I do not recall anything too specific with A. such as instructing him to have it under his tongue or swallowing instantly.

3pm. For whatever strange reason, as of late... Whenever I consumed illicit substances, I always felt very nauseous, restless, have coughing fits and will always glue my body to the couch or bed. That day was no different. I laid in A's bed, tucked myself under the sheets. My respiratory rate was in shambles, and I was shivering a lot. I am unsure if this was my anxiety coming out, leaving or me being physically cold. There was a drop in mental clarity at this point. The come up was a little intense for me. I began to see the introductory visuals, in his white ceiling. The walls began to breathe gently. I asked A. how he was doing. A. faced the television and played some Red Dead Redemption peacefully, whilst laying on a beanbag chair on the floor. He mumbled. "It'll happen soon."

I told A. I might go for a nap, A. stated he does not think that is a good idea. I agreed, I remembered a trip where I fell asleep a year or 2 ago with my friend Lucy, only to find myself terrified and trapped as a particle, all in the whilst experiencing deja vu every 30 seconds. Some of us have this voice In our heads that reads for us, that voice was more intrusive for the entirety of the night.

4:30pm. I recounted on my trip of 3 weeks ago under a similar dose which was a little more intense. I tried to rationalise what was happening. I told myself it is because that day I was sleep deprived, not in the right mindset, stressed about class and had not tripped in months. The current closed eyed visuals weren't as apparent, but they were significant. It felt like tiny hands of light waving at me. A. was now seated near me at the bed, next to my feet. He nodded his head up and down as he put his phone on airplane mode. I do not recall him moving from the beanbag chair on the floor to this bed, I gazed at the strobe lights which appeared as my eyes closed as A. decided to go on a rampage in his video game. It was different to my usual trips. I absorbed the gunfire, horses and people dying in battle as I closed my eyes again, I immersed myself into the boots of a cowboy in my head. A. continued to mash buttons on his Playstation 4 controller violently, as I momentarily lived out my life as an outlaw in the 1800s with my eyes closed and mind wide open.

In my mind I had ridden the fastest horse in the United States. It was a Mustang breed, A. informed me. Clever. I thought in my head. I tried to draw the connection with horses breeds, horsepower, cars and car manufacturing brands as well as the video game’s plot and setting.

6pm. Winter here, dictates that the sun be absent by this hour. The room was painted a greyish blue tint. We did not have the lights on. The colours from his gaming console and TV shunned a little brighter and were slightly more alluring. Typing with his video game controller and replying to messages on my phone became a lot more tedious. The digits on our mobile phones which told us the time really liked to dance. I blinked a few times and surely the hands on my clock app waved to me a little. A magnitude of brainpower was required to complete an action as simple as microwaving a cup of tea.

6:30pm. I went to urinate into the toilet. Again. My urine was brownish-green. That can't be right...I blinked a lot, and thought how irritating it was to go to the toilet so frequently. It must be all that black tea and caffeine I consume. I tried explaining that to whoever was listening. I grimaced as my feet touched the cold bathroom tiles. The bathroom lights felt more active in comparison to when I first arrived. They seemed a little more energetic and liked to tweak themselves providing me with an occasional wink.

7pm. A's bed was hot, his electric blanket provided me with a great deal of warmth and comfort. We decided it's time to go for a walk. As he locked the front door, I thought to myself: It was A's first time with Lucy but I felt an element of role reversal was in play as it was as if he was looking after me. In my mind I questioned if A. eating a heavy meal, his weight, metabolism and it being his first time affected the pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics because we seemed to be on a different wavelength. I dropped that thought, we decided to go venture for food. Strange. I am often left physically disgusted at the idea of eating or drinking during times like these. I have nil desire for food when Lucy was around, but nonetheless I obliged.

9pm. A. mentioned he wanted to do a marathon and had been practising on this very park. My body's poor circulation meant that the cold was not for me. But the streetlights, the breeze, the ambience and the architecture of this city made it all worth it. This view was second to none. I had forgotten how gorgeous and bewitching this city was in the evening. We were bothered only by the presence of the occasional person jogging or a local resident going home after a long days’ worth of work. We walked and marvelled at the luminescent light that lived in the water. The water was dyed jet black and it sighed deeply. This body of water could easily have been consumed by “***” or whoever/whatever as a cup of black tea. Something as simplistic as the refraction on the water would capture my attention for minutes at a time and send me to another dimension of thoughts. The water would radiate, and the reflective streetlights would warp itself into that water with every involuntary or voluntary movement the liquid made. I complimented on A's neighbourhood. We sat down on a wooden park bench and stared into the winter night. I lit up a cigarette. The moment felt sublime, staring at this harbour was one of most soothing and tranquil moments I have experienced in a while. I almost did not understand the blessings, conditions, chain of events and fate combined with the aesthetic value presented to me at this very moment. We spoke about ignorance, our upbringings, partners, attending music festivals, clubbing, our preferences when looking for a significant other and what we pictured in our future. A. was very composed, articulate and oddly insightful the whole time. We navigated our way back to A’s. I’m sure I asked him how he knew the way back without using his phone. I do not recollect his response.

"We're having pizza for dinner," A. tells me. A. ordered pizza for delivery on his phone. There were moments of pauses as he struggled to figure out how to process this order to the right address, at the right time with the right amount of food.
"I've never ordered pizza like this." A. whispered. He then stared at his phone with full focus.

***We end up being interrupted by A's roommate who we shall call B****

B comes out the front door flicking his lighter aggressively at a pipe.
I smiled, "Hey, Buddy."
I smirked. "Rare to see another pipe smoker." I exclaimed.
B. says, "No kidding, but it's just easier, more portable and convenient."
B and I speak briefly; the usual smokers' spill regarding prices, our history with smoking, rolling paper and my inability to roll cigarettes. I ended up bartering with him. I offered a my favourite tailor made cigarettes. I pulled out my own blue metallic pipe as he generously filled my piece all the way to the top with his favourite herb.
I thanked him.

The night was still young. I sparked up. It was now B., A., Lucy and I. When suddenly, Miss. Jane, who goes by Mary, had now graced us with her presence. The coldness of the night was very contrasting with the environment I was in. It felt very warm to speak to such hospitable and open individuals. B spoke to me about his experiences with feeling alive and euphoric on narcotics whilst he was working as a DJ. He had not been on a trip in almost 10 years. I suggested to him that, Lucy was still available to see him as she will not leave unless she decides to see A. and I again tonight.

B. was apprehensive.

The food delivery person came, Mary was a very calming figure to be around. Usually when I was with Lucy I struggled with social interactions and would be on the edge of the seat. Tonight, I wasn't. I lit up another cigarette, as A. grabbed his food. Mary whispered. My appetite greeted me. I never felt hungry around Lucy, but tonight was unique. I ate. A. devoured this meal whilst I ate slowly. We watched a video of the most rarest slices of beef in this world being consumed by person in Japan in 1st person POV.

There was still a tab of 330ug of acid left on the bedside table. I somehow convinced A. to finish what we started. He was hesitant, but I somehow persuaded him using some pseudo math I conjured up. I am unashamed to say, that I'm not above lying to get what I want.

10pm. Lucy came over again. I advised A, that Lucy would not be as active and present in our conversations this time around, as tolerance is a word in the dictionary.

10:30 pm I fiddled with a Rubik's cube before playing some acoustic guitar. We listened to some Nirvana and enjoyed some guilty pleasures in the music world. A and I watched some anime. This second hit felt lighter and I did not feel so nauseous. I drank lots of black tea throughout the night. We watched some of A's favourite animes and we spoke about how he viewed anime as something of value to him, as he tried to apply certain principles in them into his life. I liked the idea. A certain video regarding human consciousness, healing, kindness and gratitude brought me to the verge of tears.

11:30pm the room was suddenly filled with an air of openness, we spoke on different matters regarding religion, work, society, what we desired in life and the drugs habits of individuals we knew. I felt even more extroverted and welcoming now. I invited A. to my place whenever he pleased as I was on a small break from work and study.

12am Midnight. Someone knocked. We looked at each other with eyes wide open.
"Is someone there?" I asked A.

"Come in?" said A.

The door creaked open, it was B. B invited me to the front porch to see Mary one last time. I sipped on another cup of black tea and spoke to Mary and B.

"Quite some night, aye?" Asked B.

"Sure is, let me get your details, you like Asian food, video games, cigarettes and dessert?"

B smiles.

"Sounds like fun."

2am. A. and I were open to the possibility of ordering more food. Nothing gourmet or wholesome would really be open during these hours. Lucy was still here. We ended up walking to a 7-11 to feed my nicotine addiction.The automatic door was locked. The clerk opened it.

"Hey, how can I help?"

"Just after some cigarettes." I said. With Lucy by my side the next 3 minutes felt like an hour. It was a struggle with me, asking for different cigarettes each time and coming up short on cash 4 times. I am short-sighted and unable to read the prices of cigarettes mounted onto the wall which lead me to estimating how much cash to provide, failing to pay sufficiently each time; the clerk became agitated at this and thoughts began to unravel.

"Wait... does he know?"

"He knows, he's onto us."

"Oh no, he's going to call the police on us."
In my mind I was so fixated with the notion that this was a drug deal or mugging under the influence gone wrong.

The clerk coughed. I snapped back into reality.

"You sure, you don't need some sleep?" - The clerk politely asks.

I could picture the look on my face. A 22-year-old with pizza stains all over his face, with pupils the size of dinner plates, reeking of cigarettes and poor life decisions. I reassured him and said, "Yup, just getting my smokes, so I could have one then off to bed." I offered him a fake smile as a ticket of proof from someone sane and sober. A. paid for the cigarettes, A. apologised to the clerk and we walked off hurriedly. Lucy and I told A that this little incident did set off a small bout of negative thoughts in my head.

"A, I swear that looked like we were trying to rob the place, does it look like we're on meth or something?"
"it's fine."
"I almost felt like stealing those cigarettes and running..."
I reflected and opened to A. about my inclination to steal things in the past and also when I’m under the influence.
“I almost stole a bicycle a few days ago, because it was left in the open…”
"have your cigarette, relax and let’s get you another cup of tea." A. replied.

2:30 am. It was now pitch black in A's room. I enjoyed a mini firework display within as my eyes closed. A was getting ready for bed. Strange I thought, I always struggled to get some shut eye, after spending a night with Lucy.

3am. For some reason, I began fiending for some cold pizza. I dug through the crumbled brown paper bag and surely inside the cardboard box was a half-eaten slice. I ate it and smiled from ear to ear. In my mind I slowly envisioned myself as a homeless person, who was going through some black rubbish bags looking for some food, maybe some water, or just anything. That homeless person is just seeking a crumb of sustenance or a drop of hope. I ate a few bits of bacon, beef, and a pathetic looking crust before gently placing the empty box down. We just had a meatlovers pizza, I could have sworn, those brown bits were beef. Isn’t A. Hindu???

4am. A. snored loudly, Lucy was still here with me. I started reflecting on my day. I constantly found myself leaving A's room to the frontyard to speak to a cigarette in the cold.

5:30am. Our conversations earlier that evening manifested into my mind. All I could think of in my mind was about being thankful, grateful and thinking positive. I blinked and the words positive thinking arrived visually in pink bold letters and echoed inside my head as if I yelled into a hollow cavern of sorts.

6:00 am. I showered. For some odd reason, the only thoughts in my head were about the amount of privilege I have, to be able to have hot running water at the touch of my fingertips. It was beyond me, the progression of engineering and science which allowed me to be able to literally turn on a tap to access clean running water. I felt almost unworthy to experience this luxury. I stared into my reflection on the cracked and stained bathroom mirror. A hot water shower is someone else's alone time and morning ritual, and possibly what motivates them to go to work each morning... to live within society and reap its innovations and rewards. I blinked and washed my hands in lukewarm water for the 10th time this evening.

I cleansed my hair, face and entire body with steaming hot water. The water had a greenish tint to it. As I closed my eyes, I existed in this moment, I was present in this reality. The screeching of the taps, the churning of the water system, and this clear flowing liquid running past my body and ravaging itself into the bathtub sink. Clear steam left my exposed body. I washed off sweat, dirt, grime and most importantly Mary's perfume. It was calming and therapeutic to say the least. I feel as if I have cleansed sin from my body and I had been absolved. To be pragmatic I may have just washed away some evidence. There was a knock on the door. A's roommate needed to use the bathroom. I felt as if I had overstayed my welcome. I sent A my regards, thanked him for the night and left for home.

I called a friend at 6:30am. I asked her how her night was. She was unable to join us tonight as she had to tend to her father in hospital. We spoke as she was taking a taxi to work. I spoke to her about my night with B., A., Lucy and Mary. We were both surprised at how A. carried himself throughout the night.

She asked me a question that I've been thinking about a lot these past 24 hours

Do you think A. really saw Lucy?

Maybe...I thought, Maybe not…

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114583
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jul 23, 2020	Views: 694
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2) : Second Hand Report (42), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)