Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Kratom & Cannabis
Citation: Homer. "Tea Party for One: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Kratom & Cannabis (exp115587)". Erowid.org. Jul 29, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115587
Magic Mushroom Tea Party for One
After having a cup of coffee, some hours later I lay awake in a hypnogogic state for about an hour. This was enough to tickle my fascination into alternative forms of consciousness, magic, healing, and "self" examination which had been slowly accumulating.
I then consumed about 2 grams of quality sourced green vein kratom. I felt euphoric and returned to a hypnogogic state on the couch. Still unable to fall asleep, and thoroughly interested, indulged and comfortable in this somewhat psychedelic state. I was very relaxed and having light closed eye visuals. For me, kratom and cannabis use open up the minds eye to reveal delights, mirrors, and nightmares:)
I decided this night was perfect for a flirting with the mushroom friends. So I brewed 1.5 grams in a tea, and chewed on some caps and stalks while brewing. I mixed the tea with a scoop of a health cacao blend.
I then went and began stretching yin style. Slowly I felt the mushrooms shift perception. The feeling of the body, the mouth, the head. The shift. I then went and smoked a doobie I rolled for the occassion.
Catalyzing the experience, the magic tea, kratom, cacao ( acts as MAOI) , and cannabis I returned to stretching. This trip is part of my healing process in relation to the mushrooms. I had some traumatic experiences and am slowly reorienting myself to the plant teachers with respect and healing intention. As well as fun:) I have taken entheogens since I was 16, I am now 27. I experienced pleasant closed eye visuals of a beautiful alien woman, and other phantasmagoria. Then the whopdinger showed itself.
To give context, I have had insecurities and preoccupations surrounding sexual performance, sexual orientation, and am very much so healing this relation actively. I also had to have corrective circumcision surgery at 17. Also I had sex the week before, and during for a moment lost my erection, regained it then ultimately came early. This spiralled my mind into obsessive checking and a thought loop of insecurity. Luckily, this experience is seldom as I am graced and lucky enough to have an awesome human giving me that sexual healing. :p
So back to mushroom tea, I have the feeling of being castrated. And am like wtf...okay. Breathe. I opened my eyes and very much so decided that if I take more mushrooms I will do it with a trip sitter...because the notion that I may cut off my penis crossed my mind ( I never want to do that...and I knew I wouldnt). I believe it is the desire to re act out our traumas, and so I closed my eyes again to embrace the experience in the inner realm.
Part of me thinks it's reexperiencing the circumcision correction surgery, part of me thinks it's a collective experience for males especially, and part of me half- jokingly but very seriously thinks it was like a cord cutting ceremony.
It was like the snake that sheds its skin, or the lizard that drops its tail and regrows one. My old relation to my penis had become unhealthy, and now the opportunity for a new healthy relationship to my penis and sexual health can be fostered!
More phantasmagoria unfolded as I continued to lay on the ground. I smoked more cannabis, continued laying there, thanked the heavens and the ground, and fell asleep.
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