DOSE:

1 g

oral

Mushrooms

(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

1:30pm: I woke up and decided not to eat anything. I would fast until I took the mushrooms. Throughout the morning I talked with my mom who told me something along the lines of “when you need to take that next spiritual step you just gotta do it” while talking about some spiritual mentor she had hired or something, I don’t remember exactly. I took this as a sign and it gave me confidence to go ahead with the trip. My parents would be leaving for the night and returning at around noon the next day. During this time I went out to prepare myself. First I went to the store to get some ginger candies (which I had been looking for for some time now to help with nausea), then I went to do some other errands, I ended my journey with a stop where I picked up a vanilla milkshake. I had been recommended to put the mushrooms in the milkshake and blend it up to ease with the taste and nausea.

4:35pm: I put my phone on do not disturb so nobody could bother me throughout the trip and I placed the shrooms and part of the milkshake into the blender, blended it, and went outside to down it. At this time I started to realize that I would have to take care of my dog and that she may be an annoyance throughout the day. Anytime I was outside she would want to be with me and she would scratch at the door endlessly. I drank the solution in 2 separate gulps, only a few minutes apart and then had some ginger candies right after, it tasted just like a vanilla milkshake and I sat there waiting for the effects. My dog kept scratching and I was starting to think that she was going to ruin the trip.

After a while of waiting with nothing happening, I decided that my dog was too annoying and that I should go for a bike ride down to the local park to avoid her. I took my bike out and pedaled down the street when I realized that I may have left the door unlocked. So I went back home and realized it wasn’t locked. After locking it I decided to go across the street to a grassy area with some trees instead of the park because it was closer to my house. I didn’t exactly know what to expect but it was at this time that I felt my first wave of nausea. I said fuck it and figured I could probably control my dog and deal with the nausea indoors.

5:00pm: I sat down on the couch inside and my dog came over and we were chilling together. She was calm and I think she was feeling the vibe. Did she know I was tripping? Probably. I listened to several songs but some of them didn’t feel right. I could tell the effects were hitting me. Some songs just sounded out of place, like they were disconnected from my experience as opposed to integrated. I decided to stick to a specific group of songs because of this (which was a good idea). As I looked up to the popcorn ceiling of my living room I watched the show that the mushroom had created for me. It felt like they were showing off, as if they were saying “look what I can do”. It was like they had prepared a show for me to watch and they would show me in exchange for my respect and attention. Every object had a different show and each its own unique effects.

I had made an important distinction, that the substance wasn’t putting an overlay over my vision, but rather, an overlay over the world. If I focused on any point on the ceiling, the stucco bumps would start to flow and parts of the ceiling would be overlaid with colours blue and green. At some point it seemed like the ceiling was moving each point slightly in one direction or another to create floral patterns with perfect symmetry. At other points, some bumps would stay in place and others would move around it. As if rivers were being created within the stucco. I looked over towards the wall of bricks and they would look more rounded than usual, breathing in and out.

When I looked over to the staircase it looked like one of those optical illusions where you can’t tell if the structure is built coming towards or away from you. As it breathed in, it would further resemble the incorrect version, where the room was not in place. As it breathed out, it would return to the proper version. These shows would intensify with music drops. Especially the final minute and a half of this song called “Little Dark Age” as well as “The Great Big Gig in the Sky'' by Pink Floyd.

5:41pm: I decided I should go outside to my backyard and see the rest of the world. The colours were bright and beautiful. My dog came with me and I set a chair out beside the pool on the deck. I tried to find patterns in the sky and elsewhere but the most interesting object outside was the wood on the deck and its veins. As I zoned out on the wood, its veins would move along the surface but the wood would stay in place. At some point I was staring at the wood and it stopped moving as fast and I thought to myself “oh, the wood stopped moving as fast it must be back to normal now” but then I soon realized that wood isn’t supposed to move at all on its own.

6:40pm: At this point I was getting an urge to lie down with my back on the ground. I laid down on the ground and was starting to have this weird feeling. I was feeling love for all kinds of things. Specifically my dog, who had been chilling with me the whole time. I never really liked this dog so it was nice to connect with her for once. I kept getting this rising feeling of love that would come up through my body and into my chest and I would have to release it into the world by laughing or hugging my dog or whatever else. I made some revelations about love and my life in general. After this I got up and went over to lie on the patio furniture with my dog and we cuddled for some time. I felt like I wanted to sleep but at the same time I was full of energy and love that I wanted to give to the world.

7:20pm: I got up and went outside for a walk to the local park. At this point the trip became more emotional/philosophical and I didn’t care for the visuals as much. I walked past neighbours who were washing their cars and all this expensive shit and wondered what they were getting out of it. I watched this neighbour of mine teach his son how to wash his bmw and this whole time I’m just wondering why he even has one. Does it really work better than a honda civic? Does it really look that much better? Perform better for the price? Or is he just trying to impress the people around him?

I continued along the sidewalk and walked past another house that had a camera above their garage. As soon as I saw this I burst out laughing because it just seemed so pathetic. People trying to control the little they can. Then I made somewhat of an interesting revelation. There are 2 ways to be happy: control everything, or control nothing. And these people don’t seem to understand that. They’re obsessed with controlling as much as they can and will never accept submission or relinquish control, or accept that they can’t control some things.. Even if it would make them happier. I also thought this about my nextdoor neighbour who points one of his security cameras directly into my backyard.

7:25pm: I arrive at the park and there is a large soccer field in front of me and behind that there is another field with some trees in it. The sun is about to set. I walk over to a picnic table that’s part of the park and sit there, listening to music as I watch a family of 4, distant from me, playing with a frisbee. They seem to be enjoying themselves and it is a wholesome moment in the warm glow of the sun. A few minutes later I get up and decide to lay in the middle of the soccer field just to chill with the earth. I continue to listen to music as the sun moves slowly behind the houses on the street adjacent to the park.

7:45pm: I get up and decide to take the path near the river to go back home when I arrive at a crossroads. I can either go deeper into the forest to a place where I used to go when taking calls with my therapist. A place which I generally associate with negative emotion, somewhere I would sometimes go to cry or just get away from the world. Or I could take the path towards the setting sun and move on from that time. I decided it was fate that I needed to move on and leave those things in the past. So I chose my route home, away from the forest as the words “burn the page my little dark age” sounded through my ears.

On that path I danced and laughed unapologetically. I decided to just be myself in a way that I don’t typically allow myself to be. It was like I decided to take off the mask that I would typically put on during my day to day, and it felt good to just do me, without feeling like I was cringe or weird for being so. I walked home and passed by my neighbour and had a quick conversation with him. I don’t think he suspected anything.

8:00pm: I made it home safely and with new insights. I haven’t felt so human, so me, in a long time. I learned a lot and really enjoyed the experience.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115704
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Aug 28, 2023	Views: 324
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Mushrooms (39) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Personal Preparation (45), Relationships (44), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)