DOSE: T+ 0:00		insufflated	MDMA
T+ 0:10	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:30	3.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis
T+ 0:30		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:30		smoked	Entada rheedii
T+ 0:38		oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

I consumed MDMA and P. Cubensis mushrooms for a "hippie flip" (first time). No prep going into this as I was still pretty vanilla as far as tripping.

0:00
My heavy handed cousin doles out my one and only rail of disco sugar (MDMA) for the night. About .3 of a gram I'd figure. It looks like Pop Rocks, smells like pain and tastes like chemically shit, as if black licorice and Drain O had a baby. *Sniff* "thank you" *sniff*.

0:10
We smoke bowls in the bathroom, blowing clouds into the ceiling fan. I peer without fear into the mirror and by gummony my pupils are fucked. "Man I look like someone who does drugs" I exclaim.

"Yeah, ya do, but so do I too" says Adam. He is older, hairier and heavier, yet somehow I still look the more nuked option between us. I say "nahh, you look wonderful" or something to that effect.

0:20
We don't end up spending too long at his place. It was late, I wanted to begin with the shrooms and him being a hardcore binge user he will probably end up doing lines of Molly all night, lying on his back and willing his mortal vessel to process its primarily drug and alcohol based diet. Probably a good bit of jacking off for him too.

0:30
I embark on the arduous 200 yard walk from my cousin's to my grandmas house. I grab my bag of shrooms. Scale out 3.5 grams. I also pour a huge cup of grapefruit with lemon juice thrown in.  I don't really like grapefruit juice but I heard it might possibly potentiate the experience. I heartily eat the mushrooms and sip the drink. Now it's time for a bowl or 3. Load up some weed and African dream herb.

0:38
I got worried this would be too weak an experience, so I begin to eat mushrooms from the bag. I would say I ate about 7 grams in all. They were weak shrooms but this still may have been too much.

0:50
It's kicking in rapidly. My phone began to look like alien technology and felt very strange, so giveless and solid. It buzzed with life, making a sound like someone ran an electrical current through a precious gem. Its hard to describe but if you ever listen to Non Phixions "If you got love" you'll hear it within the first 20 seconds. Sounds like an alien xylophone.

0:57
I turned the lights off to see how pitch darkness would play into things. The red numbers on the digital clock began to look like those weird Predator countdown symbols. I am lying there and I can see my grandma's ghost like silhouette peering at me and coming closer in the dark. She looks so pale and her eyes look so black. It's way past her bedtime and she's gawking at me strangely in her night gown. It began to freak me out, I honestly don't think anyone was there. I had to leave the house.

Turning to my left I approach the trailer. Just looking at it, I felt nauseous. It seemed an evil place after all the mind wasting hard drug debauchery that my cousin's had carried on with inside it. When I grabbed the doorknob it felt like the hardest material in the world.

Upon opening it, the trailer door was far too square and flat shaped. The whole structure was a sickening composition of unnatural angles and artificial materials.

Nevertheless I went inside.

My surroundings immediately felt too cramped and stuffy. The walls warped and shrunk, the top of the doorframe was slanting diagonally at cartoonish angles. I felt like a mildly poisoned Alice in Wonderland.

I began to feel intense impending doom. I started pacing inside, then outside the trailer. I didn't know what was going to happen but fuck me if I wasn't alarmed about it. Within 45 seconds I was running down the driveway and up the street. Evil forces were working towards my undoing. Someone knew I was high and was going to call the police. Something was coming to attack me. My mind made wild leaps, the only constant theme being to run away.

1:03
I got past 4 or 5 houses before the all consuming enormity of the treeline and crushing blackness of the night intimidated me into sitting down, this was still mountain lion and bear country after all, though I was more scared of spectres and phantoms to be earnest.

Sitting down on the gravel road, I felt I was being downloaded the consciousness of the universe and it was a very bizarre, hateful one. Most of the words that violently speared from my inner monologue were non existent gobbledygook.

I kept being drifted through by the menacing, ghostly physical expressions of family members, quizzical entities standing all around. One looked very neat, like a 1940s suit diver who was coming to ease me, hands flared in an "easy there buddy" sort of gesture.

Time gets a little fuzzy here, maybe 1:05-2:15

All my movements were strained. People were noticing my midnight spectacle (or so it seemed), and I feared drawing attention but I was overpowered by the crushing weight of the universes absurdity.

I was running around, lying on the ground, all at like 3 in the morning. Thank god my clothes stayed on. I was still there in some senses. Sinister figures continued to observe from the shadowy brush.

Despite that, I was soothed by most of what I saw, because it was so fucking cool, like the imagination really took over and I had been wanting the true zonkers psych experience my whole life.

Creatures and beings morphed out of the foliage. I tried hard to give in to the trip, I lied there but I was so physically overwhelmed.

I felt bloated and my whole body buzzed at the molecular level like I had just regained feeling in a limb. As if each cell was negatively vibrating, generating its own magnetic field of repulsion. I felt my body was fighting my atoms from dispersing into the universe. I am not the most scientifically versed so if this sounds moronic I apologize. Bad vibeys, basically.

At one point I tried slamming my head repeatedly into the grass I had moved to, to get it to stop (it didn't feel anywhere near as soft as it sounds). I just had to get away from this feeling, it was like having a swarm of insects inside me that clouded all reason. (I stopped this pretty instantly, maybe 2-3 slams in a second. I very much regretted it immediately, but the mindframe was just so harrowing).

3:00
I could not handle the weird nonsense being beamed into my head it was like I was an AI system totally corrupted with shit. MDMA electrified the spontaneous language that stems from tryptamine use and it was coming at me relentlessly, completely out of control.

Rocking on the ground I began to undulate like a typical hippie, and it really started to help me. Any random unscripted movement felt like it was healing. The world was colorless, a million shifting shades of black and grey.

The universe kept telling me "you know the answer, come on think good thoughts". (The answer probably being to just calm the fuck down and ride it out). At this point it felt kind of like a one way conversation with God. Like the voice of the creator was being projected directly into my consciousness. I wonder if that's similar to the Logos discussed by certain psychonauts?

It didn't say anything very mystically intense whatsoever but the booming timbre of its voice had overwhelming authority.

I feel it's worth mentioning sober I believed in an energy force, like the universal intelligence matrix or the collective unconscious but not God. This felt like plain white bread God speaking just to me. Looking back I think maybe it was my subconscious/ inner self, the little God that exists in us all.

I can't say whether I believe in the entities or not. I want to but it seems kind of silly to when they formed out of half the stuff I looked at. Though I also can't pretend that I grasp what reality is so I stay neutral. Maybe you know what's real and what isn't but I certainly have not ever.

The leaves of the trees kept morphing into silhouettes of green ape figures. They were wholely friendly except at the end when I saw flashes of an apes face with massive bared canine teeth and flames licking out of its eye sockets. It morphed again into a hooded cobra, yet it still maintained gleaming fangs and eyes of fire. It was too awesome and short lasting to be frightening. Hands down the most bonkers thing I've ever seen tripping. Not even in my dreams have I glanced things like that.

5:00
At one point I held a broad leaf at the end of a branch for a period, likening it to the hand of the forest. I got up and started skipping around saying whatever bizarre words I could come up with making random movements.

Anything to keep a semblance of mental coherency, even if I was just muttering peanut butter, broccoli, arugula, mustard, Gonzales. Making mostly real words felt like progress, I didn't want to slip back into garbled lunacy.

Doing these things colorized my surroundings and headspace briefly, as my world had almost entirely shifted to grey at some point and had very limited contrast, I craved to return to the vibrancy I usually lived in.

I ran back and forth getting stranger and stranger and this brought me back to humanity. Almost exactly like that Spongebob episode where he has to do weird stuff to get back to his regular self.

When the world was fully colorized I was happy again. It's funny because there was actually some kind of big cat going totally crackers outside, my sister recorded its screams and showed me the next day but I couldn't have been fucked to care about it, I was hearing jungle noises and shit too so I thought it was just part of it.

Fortunately I was very far out in the country, more of a be and let be type of vibe there. I'm a little embarrassed that I went around hollering and making a fool of myself but it actually helped me in a way, to reclaim my individuality doing the most random shit.

Maybe that sounds cliche but I'm really shy and estranged from people I don't know very well, this uninhibited me in a way I wasn't feeling ashamed of myself, it was really beautiful and freeing once I got used to the headspace.

I jogged back and forth for probably 2 and a half hours, until the sun started to come up. Then I went inside and passed the fuck out. It was fun but 2 years later I still don't think I'll ever do a stimulant and a psyche again.

Also I'd like to point out never at any point was I remotely a danger to anyone else and hardly even to myself. It was somewhat difficult but not a bad trip at all. I did this to heal and it had the desired effect. This was a few months after coming off Seroquel so that may have played into the negativity earlier on.

Thank you for reading this far.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 115883
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jan 26, 2023	Views: 724
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Cannabis (1), MDMA (3), Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)