DOSE:	repeated	oral	Mushrooms	(dried)
		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

164 lb

I just started getting into mushrooms and before I knew it I had large quantities that could last a normal person a lifetime. Before I grew I only had one experience on mushrooms.

After I started harvesting I would trip every other weekend. I could take 3 or 4 grams and come out sane as I started experimenting. One thing I learned from all my trips is that smoking cannabis when it starts to hit is a very bad idea. Because it makes it much more chaotic and can be overwhelming.

I was getting to the last bit of mushies from my last harvest and decided I wanted to trip again. So I got out the bag of mushrooms and started eating them like potato chips. I wasnt sure how many grams I had, big mistake. I ate half the bag and waited for the effects to kick in. When I started to feel a shift happening I went outside with my wife to smoke a bowl. We came back in and I felt a bit weird so I decided to eat the remainder of the bag.

Five minutes after I eat the last mushrooms I started seeing colorful tracers over my body. I saw a portal of different colors pulsing in my field of vision. I've never seen this portal and at first I thought it was amazing and cool. But as it was getting stronger and stronger I got a heavy feeling in my gut like something was wrong. I started getting worried and my wife could sense it. She said there is an anime she thinks I would like to help calm me down. She puts on Berserk 3 the movie. If you've never seen Berserk, you dont know just how dark that anime is. The intro has the main protagonist with his skin flayed, tendons cut, and cut off tongue. In the background there are bells tolling. Like the feeling of death was imminent. A demon started crawling towards him. And the TV was starting to pixelate where it was so hard to tell what I was even looking at. I saw the protagonists eye flicker in horror. The eye imprinted in my mind. I couldnt take it anymore and told my wife to turn the tv off.

As we lie in darkness I felt it coming on stronger and stronger. I could hear a high pitched sound getting higher and louder in my ears. I realise how fucked I was because I ate more mushrooms 5 minutes before they kicked in so it was going to come on stronger and stronger. I wanted to call the cops and bring an ambulance. But I resisted the idea. I decided to suck it up because I knew eventually it would be over.

My blanket became a sea of colorful high saturated sea urchins crawling all over me. This freaked me out and I went into a fetal position since closing my eyes didnt help at all. I wanted to ask my wife for moral support but she had already fallen asleep. So I decided not to wake her. It was around 1:00 am now and I as I lay in a fetal position I went into a very dark place. All I could see was the eye of horror from the protagonist of the anime in my mind. I felt like I had my skin flayed with my tendons cut. I couldnt even speak a word. I felt like I had broken my mind. As I cowered in fear I went to a very dark and bloody room with eyes of torment surrounding me looking at me. I could hear all my insecurities "you're a freak" "no one likes you and you're better off dead" "you disgust people" etc. My shadow came out to face me.

At this point I wanted to kill myself. Anything is better than experiencing this. For some reason a memory came into my head about me reading about Terence Mckenna's bad trip that sent him over the edge and as his wife held him he said "lack of meaning, a lack of all meaning" and I could feeel his pain because I was experiencing it. I called out to him saying I wanted to give him a hug. And he responded to me saying "dont be afraid, this is just a process and like all processes you must let them happen." This helped alot and the eyeballs and dark room vanished.

I looked at the clock, it was 2 am. Since I've tripped on mushrooms so many times I know I had at least an hour before I started to come down. I just had to hold on. I lost track of time and even the fact I was tripping. I was just observing the craziness happening in front of me. For one second I became aware I was a living person and I opened my eyes. I thought an hour had passed. But it was only 2:03. It had only been three minutes. This was going to be the longest night I ever endured. When I closed my eyes I was staring at what looked like galaxy clouds with stars in the background and a huge lighting strike in the middle. I lost my sense of identity again and when I sensed I was alive again. The vision or the mushroom sensed I was regaining awareness and the right side of the galaxy clouds moved in a way that looks like what microorganisms move in a wet environment. Like it knew that I was aware of it. This scared me for some reason and I opened my eyes. It was now 3 am and indeed I finally started to come down. I was able to stand to use the restroom.

When I got back to the bed I was so happy I survived and put my fist into the air like a proud warrior. I was still tripping hard, the room was breathing and swaying really intensely. But it was nothing compared to how I was a couple hours ago. I remember lying down crying because of how fortunate I was to be alive and sane. Everything felt magical and blissful. I was having the best night of my life and my thought went to beautiful places. The next day I was staring at my garden in awe of how beautiful everything was.

That night changed me, I faced all my demons and came out on top. But it could have gone very wrong so I was very lucky. I'm happy for my family, my friends, and myself. I had to die, to be reborn. Process with caution when messing with things we hardly understand.

[Reported Dose: estimated 4-7 grams]

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 116236
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Apr 3, 2022	Views: 440
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