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Feeling Loved and Accepted as I Am
Mushrooms
Citation:   tqbrasil. "Feeling Loved and Accepted as I Am: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp116356)". Erowid.org. May 18, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116356

 
DOSE:
0.5 - 2.5 g oral Mushrooms (capsule)
BODY WEIGHT: 100 kg
The Mushrooms Cured Me

Do you know the feeling of feeling totally loved? Accepted? The feeling of having your chest overflowing with love? Of feeling forgiven for the rude word you said to your parents?

Note: I'm Brazilian, I'm not fluent in English.
Sorry for errors in the text.

My name is TQ, 37 years old and I am a therapist. Yes, I am a therapist, I study and attend all day. I help people a lot and am considered very good at what I do. Obviously, I'm still taking care of my personality, but I still consider myself to be much improved in some up-to-date points.

All my life I was very anxious, accelerated, reactive and worried. I had low self esteem and as a defense mechanism I was always criticizing people. He was very critical, he had a very high irritability. I used to walk down the street without looking at anything and felt attacked or resentful under someone calling me. There is something I was missing. A void! Perhaps due to my father's alcoholism, being absent. Maybe for genetic reasons, anyway, who knows where anxiety and health problems as a whole come from?

About three months ago I found myself interested in hallucinogens. I also read a lot about microdoses and how they can help in the most varied disorders. Decide to buy 500mg mushroom capsules. I did some tests using this 500mg microdose, sometimes I felt a wonderful sensation, other times a little Bad Trip (anxiety, body heat and fear).

One fine Thursday day, something told me in my mind to do a real experiment with hallucinogens, so I decided on 5 pills, the equivalent of 2.5gr. I decided to go to the condo pool, which was empty.

After an hour a feeling of peace and mild euphoria washed over me. Zero feeling of anxiety, zero feeling of ruins. Gradually, having hallucinations, like the sky changing nuclei and forms of communication, everything that is new and celestial clouds, like a wonderful movement of points of lightlike the wonderful points of light and--> around me, a spectacle of sensations and colors that I could never get witness or even worthy of feeling.

After a while, I decided to go to my apartment to do a meditation in the dark (the night had already started), when I arrived at my apartment I went into the bathroom and went to shower, deciding on the floor under the shower. I sat on the floor, the shower running above me. I felt like under a great waterfall in a magnificent forest. I felt that I could be any animal on earth, I imagined myself as a primate, then an eagle, then a wolf. I knew exactly what it felt like to be these animals, I felt their life force and their fullness. At that moment in my mind came a deep feeling of love and respect for animals.

After that, my mind was taken to my emotional problems and challenges, I felt in that moment a feeling of infinite love, the feeling in every cell of my body of feeling loved and accepted as I am. It sounds very cliché and simple but the feeling of learning to enjoy being who you are, accepting yourself is something very, very powerful. I had access to a kind of sensory knowledge that everything in the universe is made of love; that we are here to love and that loving is nothing more than imitating God, because God is love.

God is love.
In the end it's all about love, all along it was about love.
As the Beatles would say: Ally you need is love.

In the following days, the feeling of love continued, I find myself sometimes touched by simple things like the singing of birds or a child playing. I no longer feel aggressive or compulsive with food, drink, sex or any drug.

I can be much more empathetic and present when I'm seeing my patients or talking to anyone. The feeling I have is that I am attending to a brother or a daughter.
I can be much more empathetic and present when I'm seeing my patients or talking to anyone. The feeling I have is that I am attending to a brother or a daughter.


When someone is rude to me obviously I get upset but it quickly passes because today I can truly understand that people's words and behavior are nothing more than internal projections of their fears, conflicts and traumas.

This experience was 10 days ago and I still have my chest overflowing with love; I really feel different. All my life I was very skeptical and critical of religion or when someone told me that they had an experience with God. Today I think differently; I don't rule out the possibility that the mushroom made me have a spiritual experience or that in a way I could have accessed a universal consciousness.

I want to make it clear that I was never very religious, I never attended churches, but now I understand when someone says they had a religious experience.

After this experience I intend to stay a while without using mushrooms, all my respect and love for this substance. As the phrase would say – When you get the message, hang up!

A profound irony and lesson in humility for me. I, who for 20 years of my life spent a lot of money with different professionals, took the most different medicines, different types of therapy, I felt that my spiritual encounter took place through a living being, a mushroom that grows in the shit of animals in the middle of woods.

Can the mushroom make you change your personality for the better or cure a psychiatric disorder? Today my answer is yes.

Can mushrooms worsen your psychiatric condition or make you have the most terrifying and terrifying experience of your life? Unfortunately my answer is also yes.

For newbies my advice is that they read a lot on the subject and start with small doses, when they feel ready, take a larger dose, always with an intention! Having the intention that she transforms you into a better person, an intention to feel loved, to know what people call the infinite love of God.

My greatest wish is that this feeling of peace and gratitude remain in me or at least a part of it; If that feeling remains, I intend to work and study with hallucinogen therapies.

Finally, I leave my deep thanks to each person who contributes to the forum and who shares their knowledge with us; Reading your stories is always very enriching.

Peace and love!

Exp Year: 2022ExpID: 116356
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: May 18, 2022Views: 429
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Mushrooms (39) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), General (1)

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