DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 g	oral	Mushrooms	(tea)
T+ 0:00			Ginger	(tea)
T+ 2:00	5 mg	oral	Cannabis - High THC	(edible / food)
T+ 3:00	5 mg	oral	Cannabis - High THC	(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

190 lb

"Hey dude, what are you on tonight?"

"Just an edible, haha. I wish I could trip, today would be the perfect day. I do have some shrooms left but idk...I could trip tomorrow."

"Do it bro."

And so I did.

My psychedelic journey started off beautifully. My first trip ever was with 300ug LSD while being on an SSRI. I didn't feel anything until I smoked some weed, where it then hit me like a train in the best possible way. That night, I experienced true happiness and giddiness. My smile never let go, and I had to force myself to laugh quietly so as to not annoy my friends.

I then tried shrooms. First a microdose, which with cannabis produced the slightest of effects. The next trip, I decided to go all out and foolishly put down ~6.5 grams with an edible. While it was manageable at first, and felt incredibly euphoric, the trip took an intense turn into the biggest challenge I had yet. Throwing up while deep into the peak is not a fun experience, especially when the hate of a thousand demons composes the feeling I have towards puking. While not bad, it was incredibly challenging. Had I not been so careless and arrogant, I might have had a wonderful experience, but this night made me want to stop using drugs for the rest of my life.

It is because I did not want to give up drugs that I then took ~4.5 grams a couple of months later. This experience was worse, in which I spent very little time enjoying it and most of the time afraid of it. At this point I can say psychedelics seem to have little introspection in my experience. This trip, my ego dissolved entirely as I then experienced the lives of everybody, birth and death were only an instant apart with infinite experiences in between. We then pooled together into a soup of consciousness, floating through the different perspectives of our reality. Getting to this point was spent on my bed in the fetal position. I was not very scared by the fairly clear-headed thoughts that were forming, I was merely uncomfortable with the intensity of the body load and visuals.

My pride got the better of me, and the mushrooms made sure I knew of that. I then started from the beginning. One gram, 1.5 grams. In between, I've also had a couple of other LSD trips, both with plenty of anxiety, the first one more-so.

At this point, I am very nervous about this experience. One and a half grams did not do much, but will I be able to handle 2 grams? This is the first time I am preparing it as a tea, and it supposedly hits faster (and maybe stronger). Can I handle that? Can I handle the anxiety? God, I can't stand that come-up anxiety. Fuck it.

I was working from home, but instead of doing work I spent my time cleaning my apartment. I didn't have any work to do, anyway, so it all worked out. After cleaning I ran some errands before coming back home and seeing that it's time to log off of work.

I spent the next hour folding my clothes, and periodically meditating to calm my nerves. I then assured myself that I will have a good time. The hour after that was spent getting my mind ready in case the experience was stronger than I was hoping for. I meditated a little more, and I got on the TripSit discord to join in on the conversations and to help keep me grounded if needed.

I weighed out the mushrooms. Two grams. It was all I had left. No turning back now.

My mindset was slightly anxious for the experience, but overall not too bad. I had a pretty light work week and found out my PI assured me that I have plenty of time to figure out how to optimize my current project. I was feeling pretty good about that. My setting was my apartment. I had video games ready, I was on the TripSit discord, I had a playlist made for tripping, my laptop and tablet were both charged, my TV in case I wanted to watch something, and I had warm lighting in my bedroom. The place was cleaned, scented with eucalyptus.

After chopping them up, I emptied out two tea bags and put the mushrooms in them. I then steeped them with some ginger tea. I held the mug in my hands, asking for a wonderful experience full of happiness. I was asking the mushrooms, and I was asking myself. At 6:20pm, I was drinking the tea.

After about 30 minutes I began to feel it in my legs. They were restless and I felt some slight anxiety coming on, mainly because I'm not sure what to expect, and I'm afraid of the anxiety.

I started to play TF2, but it was not as fun as I thought it would be. It wasn't bad, though. I got off about 20 minutes later.

At T+1:00, I decide to go into my room. My room had warm lighting that I prepared earlier in the day. A warm welcome, I thought to myself.

I am talking with others on Discord, feeling that I'm at the peak effects. How strange, there is almost no body high, and I am very clear-headed. I feel like I'm sober with a psychedelic 'vibe' that I may actually enjoy. I set my laptop aside and laid down on my bed, staring at my ceiling and listening to music. On my strangely textured ceiling I noticed a face that I referred to as "my friend." I would stare at him, and while nothing was distorted and moving, I would watch symmetrical textures form. This was very neat, as I had never noted this effect before. Or maybe I wasn't ever focused on it. "Beautiful" was all that could come out of my mouth. I watched it turn into unique patterns like a Persian rug made of colors I could not quite point out. These visuals persisted whenever I looked at my ceiling, and had to form by keeping my eyes focused on them for a long period of time. "Why can't I stop blinking," I would ask myself. I was so intrigued by these patterns that I wanted to be completely engulfed by them. I was still very clear-headed, and it felt very cognitively euphoric. With eyes closed I only saw darkness. Maybe something here and there, but the closed-eye visuals were essentially not present throughout the night.

At T+2:00 I decided to take half of a 10mg delta-9 THC edible. I was at a comfortable spot in the trip and felt like I could handle it easily. In fact, it almost felt like I was more clear-headed after eating it.

After some time, I used the restroom. I come back into my room with a strange intention of doing what many trippers would advise against; staring at myself in the mirror. I figured that because I am so clear-headed I can steer the direction of the trip in case this does turn out to be a bad idea.

I sat down on my carpet floor directly in front of a large mirror in my bedroom. I held a staring contest with myself so as to observe the changes in my face. What I had felt here was appreciation for my appearance. I have always felt quite a bit of body dysmorphia, however, this time I felt beautiful. And as I looked into my own eyes I watched myself become a primate before turning into nothing, as if I was a vampire and could no longer see my own reflection in the mirror. I continued staring at myself, watching as my smile turned into a frown. This felt peculiar. I was not very emotionally affected by seeing this. Usually, when I see someone is sad, I feel very sad for them. This time I just thought it was weird. This is because I was looking at myself, and I thought about that.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I hugged myself. I wrapped my arms around my chest to my back, and pulled hard. I hugged myself harder than I had hugged anybody else.

"I love you, I love ME," I said to myself in the mirror. I nearly cried. Again, I was very clear-headed, but for the first time in my life, I told myself that I love myself. At T+3:00 I consumed the other half of the edible.

I went back on Discord to continue talking to others. At this point I was feeling very happy. "This was a damn good idea," I said. I was very satisfied with how the trip was going. I would continue to stare at the ceiling, seeing my friend and watching him form the neat patterns as he did earlier.

I tried to focus very hard this time, and at one point I started to feel engulfed by the visual patterns. This seemed really nice, but I lost it and was not able to get it back. I just kept blinking.

This pretty much continued for the rest of the trip. At T+4:00, the visual still persisted if I continued to focus, but I think I was coming down at this point. Although, it was very hard to tell. The body load was very light. I had essentially no nausea. I was also clear-headed and felt very safe. The afterglow that lingered for the rest of the night was perfect. I then ate some food and played some video games with a friend.

I think this trip will help me plenty for future trips. I feel that I can go into trips with much stronger mindsets, knowing that so long as I play it safe with dosing I will have a wonderful time. I usually want to make sure I know when I'm tripping a week beforehand, but this time I did not do that and was worried I might regret it, but I am so glad I did it.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116765
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Nov 8, 2022	Views: 938
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Mushrooms (39), Cannabis - High THC (598) : Glowing Experiences (4), Personal Preparation (45), Combinations (3), Alone (16)