DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 g	oral	Mushrooms
T+ 0:00		inhaled	Nitrous Oxide
T+ 11:00	2 g	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

132 lb

Six months ago

I will jump straight into "The day that changed my Life".

I have smoked cannabis before, as well as taken some edibles. However, I never thought that I would be mixing substances.

During that day, I took NOS (commonly known as laughing gas), mushrooms and smoked a whole joint in a few minutes that most definitely had too much cannabis in it... in a span of a few hours. That was the first mistake that I made, I took 1g of the mushrooms at noon which isn't much (yes I know). However, I was terrified of taking any more as it was my first time trying them (and probably the last).

I had a great, relaxing trip. We waited a few hours until it was 11 pm to have some weed (by this time the effects of the shrooms have long gone). I had a joint which had over 2g in it, and my friend had a edible, I clearly wasn't thinking straight as I smoked the whole joint in a few minutes.

It hit me so quickly that when I went back inside I didn't even remember walking there... it was all black. It was fine for a minute, I was laughing about it to my friend how I don't remember coming upstairs and entering the room when all of a sudden, paranoia hit me, my brain somehow convinced itself that we are in a simulation and that my life is just repeating itself and I somehow could see myself in my head in the current situation I was in, it was like I knew what my friend was gonna say next it freaked me out even more. It then escalated to me convincing myself that I died or that I actually passed out and am now in a coma as each time I closed my eyes it looked like someone was flashing a light in them.

I started to hallucinate from the joint, I still think it's because the mushrooms were in my system even though I wasn't tripping on them anymore, but I'm not 100% sure.

The hallucinations weren't the worst part of the trip, as they were just colourful shapes moving about. But the worst part was the negative thoughts about ending it all. As I wanted to stop feeling what I was at the time and I thought the only solution was suicide.

The trip lasted over 2 hours until I could actually fall asleep, as each time I tried to sleep while on this bad trip, it felt as if my heart was gonna stop/ have a heart attack.

The next morning, I was still feeling as if I was still high.

I thought that maybe it will go away... However, I was wrong it has been nearly 7 months now and I have been experiencing derealization and depersonalisation, psychosis, paranoia, and hallucinations, I was previously diagnosed with anxiety and depression which I noticed have worsened after the bad trip.

I don't feel like myself anymore I wake up paranoid, sometimes waking up with a panic attack, I'm always confused I never remember how I got places, and my time perception is completely all over the place, something that happened yesterday feels like it happened a week ago. I can't even fall asleep as I panic thinking I will die in my sleep.

I have tried to get help but everyone dismisses what I say and it just makes me feel worse and insane. I still think that nothing is real and it feels as if I will feel like this forever...

Never again...

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116831
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Dec 28, 2022	Views: 248
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Cannabis (1) : Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)