DOSE: T+ 0:00	2.5 g	oral	Mushrooms	(plant material)
T+ 2:00	2.5 g	oral	Mushrooms	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

68 lb

An Awakening Experience

I was very hesitant to take this substance. I'm on the spectrum and I thought that this substance would make me more autistic when in reality, being an alcoholic for a solid 2 years made me more autistic.

Before I took these mushrooms, I decided to read up on The Psychedelic Experience, to see what they recommended and also watching videos from this YouTube channel called Psyched Substance. Both really helped in understanding what to expect.

So when I took it, I started with 2.5g, lemon tekked it. I waited 2 hours for it to kick in. The effects didn't seem too intense so I roughly doubled the dosage. Then after 15 minutes, these were full on effects. I was looking at this painting for a solid hour, how the picture had come to life. I mean the flowers looked life-like no longer impressionistic. The boats were on the water and they were moving. It was amazing. There were geometrical patterns everywhere and I looked at my hand. There was all this life moving through it. I looked in the mirror and saw how blotchy and grainy my face looked.

Then I heard an ambulance siren ringing and it brought back the times I was in hospital, when I was 12 (the time when I had a chronic illness and was visiting hospital weekly) and last year when I drunkenly confessed to someone that I was suicidal (right when I dropped out of uni and was a full blown alcoholic who had no friends and was constantly hungover at work and crying in the bathroom). Firstly, it felt weird to be 12, I was confused but I was thinking 'ok sure, why do I feel like I’m scared of my father all over again, he’s not in my life anymore' then last year hit me harder! The bad memories of when people let me down and how no one truly reached out, how they saw what a mess I was but still didn't want to help. Mainly because I said 'fuck you' a lot, that year was probably the most I'd said that so I understand why it was brought up in my trip. Then I was realising how much I'm alone and was freaking out about how I don’t have anyone besides my mum. I tried convincing myself that I had these friends but then it just backfired for me. I was saying but I don’t really see these people daily, they have their own lives to worry about. It made me so sad. I probably cried for 2 hours straight about that.

I was realising how lazy I was, how I believed if I made no commitment to anything because it wouldn’t feel like I lost anything but because of that I had nothing, how I was afraid to reach out and ask for help, or when I did, it would be in the worst way. I had written these full written comedic scripts for possible sketch videos that I hadn’t tried filming, they’d been sitting there for probably six months. All because I was so afraid it wasn’t going to be good but a part of me was telling me that I didn't take the necessary risks to be successful in the entertainment industry.

Then the comedown happened 4 and a half hours later, I was relieved but also enlightened by the fact that it showed me this truth that I’d been ignoring these different aspects of my life for months and years. This is all how I needed to change. That was so much beauty in this trip but next time I do this, I will definitely want a trip sitter nearby. A really close friend.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117629
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Feb 23, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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Mushrooms (39) : General (1), First Times (2), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Alone (16)