DOSE:

7 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

This trip is by far the most profound one I've had, and it completely changed my life despite how messy it was. It was because of this trip, that I embraced Islam and quit using hedonistic drugs and alcohol. When I'm an old frail man, I'll still look back at the moments of this trip very fondly and thank the Merciful for creating such a wonderful species of mushrooms (and of course its psychedelic cousins, both artificial and natural).

Setting: My brother's room, where most of us hang out. Normally an uplifting atmosphere, nice and bright, lots of posters, christmas lights.

Who: Me, Jim. I'm 18 years old (the only one tripping), my brother, and my good friend Cory.

State: My current state before I ate the mushrooms was not not good. The night before I was puking all night and only got about 4 hours of sleep. For most of the day I was still feeling sick and depressed. For the most part, even when I take psychedelics when I'm a little down, the fact that I'm tripping usually brightens my mood so I thought I could manage.

The Trip:

8:00 P.M.- Out of about 11 grams of mushrooms I eat about 7 grams. I underestimated the potency greatly.

8:30: As soon as I felt the trip coming on, I knew it wasn't right. In a period of 5 minutes I went from feeling sober to that mind-fuck feeling that my entire existence is slipping into nothingness. Naturally, I fought the trip from the start. I told Cory 'I think I'm going to have a bad trip, man.' Then, I started to cry. It was the only thing I could manage to do. My brother got me into the bathroom and told me to drink as much water as I can so I can vomit the rest of the mushrooms to avoid tripping any harder (and thus making the night worse).

Eventually after puking a bunch of juice with small bits of mushrooms I returned to the room but the trip didn't get any. I crushed the mushrooms almost into a fine powder when I ate them so the puking did absolutely nothing. I was peaking 30 minutes after eating them. I began to cry non-stop. I didn't care how pathetic it looked, I was losing my mind. Everything I was or will be was slipping into a black hole, nothing else matters. I could have been naked in a hall way at school and it would hardly make a difference.

9:30- For my entire trip so far I've been under a blanket in the fetus position (not the best position), crying, sulking, and still fighting it (the trip). This was the hardest I've ever tripped. Any thoughts I would get would disappear almost instantly. Time became very meaningless and the only comforting thoughts I could think of is how great I'm going to feel when I come down, and being glad I wasn't having this experience on LSD (a much longer peak).

My old cocker spaniel Clifford was trying to comfort me, licking my face (I allowed him to all he wanted this time, normally I don't because he drinks out of the toilet). My thoughts became more and more profound. I remember thinking of human beings in general, how complicated their minds are, how they love, hurt, and why they do things that are sometimes or often horrible. For some reason I thought of Andrea Yates, the mother in Texas who killed her 5 kids. That thought made me cry even more, but that thought lead to me thinking of where her kids are. They have to be somewhere.

I thought of the entire world, all the suffering, all the pain, and the one thing that keeps their spirits alive: God. I thought of everyone in Afghanistan, and how there is for sure, no matter what anyone says, a God who will reward those after this life for doing right and surrendering to him. There was more to life then just being born in a third world country, living in suffering, and dying. I was now crying again, only this time I was crying for several different reasons all at once.

I was crying about literally everything: my sanity on the edge, the fact that I just realized my life would change forever after this trip, and the fact before this experience I was horrible person. I began thinking of destiny, how God knew before time I would find him. It was so comforting. The trip began to get better thinking of God. The thought alone of Heaven and being with God was warm. Then, I sat up at about 11:30 PM. and the trip became good. Everything was perfect. It was like being reborn. My mind felt like it was completely liquid, and the feeling was great that I was no longer fighting the trip. I slowly came down.

The next day, I felt anew. Everything was different now, and I began to read about the religion that has gone mainstream in the west since September 11, the religion of many third worlders: Islam. I bought a large book called Understanding Islam and a copy of the Holy Koran. I embraced Islam, and became a Sufi Muslim (A sufi is a muslim who takes the experience of faith deep into their hearts). Afterwards, I became happy for all the right reasons. Before this trip, I was a druggie. I liked rolling on E, snorting coke, and even tried crack. I abused speed a lot because it was easy to obtain. All of this ended after the trip. A mushroom God made. Everything is in its place.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 12370
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 5, 2021	Views: 766
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Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)